Baby Blues
by blizzie8836
Summary: AU, Yaoi. This is your assignment, class. You will be paired up as a couple, a married couple, and you will have one month to experience life as parents. Oh, and you're partner is a guy. Have fun!
1. Going to the Chapel

_Alright, my attempt into a full blown story. I dearly hope that the readers that already follow some of my other work will be kind enough to lend their opinions here as well, and for those that I have not seen before, I always enjoy meeting new people and love to hear helpful criticisms and ideas._

_I am also going to ask for someone to volunteer as a beta for this and possibly other stories. If you're interested, please let me know through a PM._

**Baby Blues**

**By: Blizzies8836 aka Bliz**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Sasuke does and we all know it**

**Warnings: AU. Yaoi. Flames will be deleted. Don't like it, don't read it.**

**Chapter 1: Going to the Chapel**

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Going to the chapel, _and we're gonna get married_

_Going to the chapel, and we're gonna get married_

_Gee, I really love you, and we're gonna get married_

_Going to the Chapel of Love_

* * *

It was raining. Perfect. Just perfect. One more thing to make his life complete. Thank you, Murphy. Honestly, he wasn't sure this day could get much worse. Hell with it, he wasn't sure this week could get much worse.

He'd already failed three tests this week, something his guardian had had a field day over. At basketball the last four days in a row, his team had lost, and lost badly. Today again, they'd gotten their asses whooped. In English, they'd started the section on poetry. He hated poetry; damned girly shit.

Today alone he'd been late for school, got splashed by a car driving by, realized too late that on top of not eating breakfast in his rush to get to school he'd also failed to pack anything to eat for lunch. And now he'd have to walk home in the rain, without his jacket, since that was still at home, too.

Thankfully, it was last class, which meant he could go home once he'd endured this. He opened the door to see that his desk partner was, as usual, already present and seated. He didn't know if the other boy did it just because he was a stickler for punctuality, really wanted that window seat, or was trying to hide from somebody, but figured it was somewhere between all three. He threw his bag down on the floor with a loud thump and flopped into his seat with the usual greeting.

"Uchiha."

"Dobe." Came the reply.

Naruto scowled at him. "Fuck you, bastard."

Sasuke just smirked and went back to looking out the window and ignoring him, like usual. Naruto glowered at the back of his head, hoping to bore holes in his skull with the power of his glare. Would it kill the prick to actually call him by name? Just once? Nope, ever since the first day of the semester when they'd been assigned the seats, it'd been 'dobe', or 'loser', or 'dumbass'. Sometimes he wondered if he even knew what his name _was_.

The blond harrumphed and rested his chin in the palm of his hand, idly watching the rest of the class filter in. Health class was never very interesting, anyways, and their teacher was a pervert. Sure, he was here to teach them about sex and reproduction and all that shit, but did he really have to be so…descriptive? Then again, he mused, it could have been worse. They could have had someone like Jiraiya for the teacher. Naruto shuddered at the thought.

He was brought rudely to attention by their teacher coming into the room. Not only was Kakashi actually to class on time, but he was wheeling in a dolly with a stack of large cardboard boxes. The hair stood up on the back of Naruto's neck, and he had a sudden, overwhelming urge to make a run for it. What ever was in those boxes, he was sure, was not going to be good for him. He gripped on tight to the desk, watching warily as the silver-haired man started calmly unloading boxes onto his desk and reached for the scissors to slice them open.

Kakashi looked up to the class and smiled a slow, gloating smile that had most of them nervous. A look like that on Kakashi meant something really, really bad was about to happen. He was notorious for his 'projects' that he assigned, always walking that fine line between something educational and something outrageously inappropriate.

Like the time he'd made them all do research papers on various sex toys, claiming it was show them how such things went back in history and influenced people today on ideas about sex. Or having them pair up and given demonstrations on a partial mannequin for how different forms of contraceptives were to be used properly. Naruto was sure that mutt Kiba still had that photo of him demonstrating a female condom somewhere. Shithead.

"Alright, class!" Kakashi called to get attention and calm the din. He grinned and leaned against his desk. "I have decided what your final, end-term project will be. You will be working in assigned pairs, and it will be worth forty percent of your final mark."

He ignored the collective groans of despair.

"You are going to get married." He announced gleefully.

The class was dead silent as they all stared at him.

A girl upfront chuckled nervously. "Ah heh-heh, good one, sensei…"

He shook his head. "This is not a joke. You will be paired up as a married couple, and will have assignments to complete together. But," And he grinned slyly, "that is only half of it. You will also be becoming parents."

He stood and went over to the largest box and removed a bundle wrapped in a blue blanket. He pulled away the corner and revealed surprisingly realistic face of a baby doll. Holding it like he would a real infant, he held up a cord with a round silver pendant, and a set of yellow plastic chips.

"This is a 'Real Feel' baby doll, and it has to be cared for like a real baby. It eats, sleeps, cries and wets. It's programmed to sense if it's being held right, if it's being treated right, and if you respond properly to its signals. These," He held up the pendant, "Are ID tags for you. Each doll has two tags, and will respond to them and them only. There are buttons along the back that you press to show that certain actions have been performed, such as a diaper change. There is a bag for each of you of baby equipment for the doll, and all other accessories you will need. These yellow chips are personality keys, and all you need to know is that one will be used for each baby. You will take care of these for the next month.

"Now, for the pairs, as I said, you will be assigned partners. No working alone on this, and no switching partners. Who I give you is who you're stuck with, like it or not. Now, I did take in to consideration those of you that I know of that are already in relationships, and worked it that if I could, I put you together; I think it will add much more realism that way for you. Also, as you may know, we have an unbalanced number of girls to guys. There will be two pairs that are both male partners. Frankly, I think it will add some diversity, and it's a good lesson on open-mindedness for today's society."

Most of the boys immediately started looking nervously at each other, wondering if they got stuck in one of those pairs. The girls were eyeing the boys in turn, wondering who it was. Better yet, which one of them would get one of the hot guys. Like, say, Sasuke. Some were salivating at the thought.

Kakashi pulled a sheaf of paper from his desk, waved it with a flourish and grinned as he started naming off the groups.

"Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata. Please come collect your papers, fill out all the forms for the doll, and take your bag. Congratulations, it's a boy."

Hinata turned a bright shade of red and hesitantly took the blue bundle, Kiba standing beside her looking a little stunned as he watched the baby doll.

"Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino. Same thing. And congratulations, yours is also a boy."

And so it went. On and on, until it was getting dangerously close to the end. Naruto was starting to get worried; they were rapidly running out of girls in the class. _Oh, please._ He begged to whoever might be listening. _Please don't make my partner be a guy._

"Hyuuga Neji, Sabaku Gaara."

That got the blond's attention. Those two? Holy shit, he thought, wondering how long it would be until there was a corpse. Not that they were hostile…to each other. Usually. Mostly because they'd never crossed paths before. But both were well known to be antisocial, bad-tempered and down right scary. Kakashi must be losing his mind…

"Uzumaki Naruto…" His head snapped around to look to the front, remember to pray again as he waited to hear the other name, closing his eyes tight in some futile gesture of shielding himself.

"Uchiha Sasuke."

The room went silent again, and all heads swivelled to them. The girls all had murderous intent in their eyes, and the guys looked on with unholy amusement at his expense. Naruto was shocked into silence himself for a moment, but it ended quickly.

"WHAT?" he exploded.

Kakashi just smiled blandly at him, carrying over one of the wrapped baby dolls. "You heard me, Naruto."

"But! But…Kakashi-sensei…you can't do this to me!"

"Speak for yourself." Sasuke muttered beside him.

"Too bad, Naruto, because I did. You and Sasuke, and that's final. Got it?"

Naruto sputtered, looked to Sasuke for help, and then bad at their teacher.

"But…" He trailed off weakly.

Kakashi smiled mischievously and handed him the doll, which he took without thinking.

"Congratulations, Mommy. It's a girl." Kakashi chortled to himself and winked at Sasuke, and went back to the front of the room.

Naruto stared dazedly down at the doll, and it looked back up at him with it's shiny glass eyes. It had blue eyes, he realized numbly. Just like him.

Well, shit. Shit!. How the hell was he going to get through this? A whole month. With Sasuke. And a _baby._

If he listened, he was sure he could hear fate laughing at him.


	2. Stuck in the Middle with You

_Wow, such a strong response! I' m so glad this is being received so well. I 'll try to keep regular updates as much as I can. Oh, and I'm still looking for someone to beta for me. If you're interested, please send me a PM._

**Chapter 2: Stuck in the Middle with You**

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_Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,  
And I'm wondering what it is I should do,  
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,  
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,  
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,  
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you._

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_Sasuke: Day One_

_For the record, I hate you. I really, really hate you. You did this on purpose, and I am going to find a way to get you for it. I suggest you keep a careful eye on those damned smutty books of yours, you cycloptic, silver haired freak.

* * *

_

Sasuke rubbed circles over his temples, hoping in vain to ease the headache that had formed behind his eyes. Damn that Kakashi and his harebrained schemes right to hell and back. He was sure his teacher was having way, way too much fun at his expense.

Naruto was still sitting there, just staring at that damned doll. A female doll, at that, just to top it all off. A quick glance around showed that all the other students, for the most part, had rapidly adjusted and were animatedly discussing the assignment. They were already making plans and schedules, planning care for the baby. It was slightly nauseating.

Sasuke sighed and decided that if he didn't get this farce started, Naruto might just sit there all day and stare until his eyeballs fell out. He sure as hell didn't want to do this, with Naruto of all people, but it was forty percent of their grade, and he was unwilling to lose that. Uchiha's did not get bad grades, it was that simple.

"Dobe." He prodded.

The blond startled and looked at him with confusion clearly written in his features. "What?"

Now he knew Naruto was out of it. No response to the so-called nickname. Fine, he could take charge if he had to.

"We should get started on this, here. Everyone else is getting ahead of us."

Naruto blinked and looked around, seeing he was right. He grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of his head.

"Alright…Where do we start, though?"

That one left the raven stuck. Good question, how were they supposed to start this? His gaze fell on the pink wrapped bundle on the other boy's lap.

"The doll. Let's give it a name."

Naruto nodded. "Alright, alright. Girl names." He stuck his tongue out and was apparently trying to look thoughtful. Sasuke thought he vaguely resembled a dog trying to get at a treat on his nose. "I say we call her Suki."

Sasuke wrinkled his nose as he thought it over and quickly shook his head. "Nozomi." He proclaimed.

Naruto looked affronted. "What's wrong with Suki? I want to call her Suki."

Sasuke glared. "Nozomi." He repeated.

"Suki!"

"Nozomi."

"Suki!" Naruto was holding the doll tightly and getting increasingly worked up.

"Nozomi!" Sasuke growled, feeling that headache stronger than ever.

Naruto slammed his fist down on the table. "Dammit, Uchiha, if I have to be stuck having a baby, I get to name her! And I'm going to call her Suki!"

"Idiot. If she's my child, I get to name her. Tradition says it's the father that names his children. Her name is Nozomi."

Naruto's eyes flashed with anger, and Sasuke realized that he wasn't just arguing this to get his way. He was enjoying it. Fighting with the blond fool, getting him all worked up to see him fume and hiss like an angry cat. It was…fun. He mentally cursed and damned Kakashi all over again.

"Who the hell said you were the father?" Naruto demanded.

"Dobe, Kakashi called _you_ 'mommy'." He smirked. "Which means I'm the father."

"Oh, like hell. You are so not going to be the father of any of my children, bastard."

"Yeah, well, you wouldn't be my first choice to procreate with either, dumbass."

Naruto flushed an angry red. "Good! I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot clown pole. Not even if you begged me. You can stay the hell away from me and Suki."

"Nozomi is my child, too, which means you don't have a right to keep me away from her."

"Suki!"

"Nozomi."

"Suki! Her name is Uzumaki Suki, and that's final!"

Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction. "Uzumaki? I hardly think so. She's _my_ child, so she's an Uchiha."

"Oh no, she's not! She's an Uzumaki!"

"Dammit, dobe, if we're married, than she gets the father's last name. She's an Uchiha!"

"Uzumaki!" Naruto jumped up, incensed. He put the doll on the desk and pick up his notebook, bringing it down on Sasuke's head to punctuate every syllable. "U-ZU-MA-KI!"

Sasuke violently grabbed the book from him and glared through his mussed hair. He looked at the blond, then at the book, the back again as he held up the slim notebook and tore it neatly in half. Naruto gaped at him.

"My math homework!" He shrieked, horrified.

"Serves you right, idiot." Sasuke sneered at him.

Naruto growled and lunged for him. Sasuke moved to counter, and both were hauled to a dead stop by Kakashi's grip on their wrists, holding them apart.

"Now, boys. What's seems to be the problem here?"

"He's a jerk!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger at his partner.

"He's an idiot." Sasuke dead-panned.

Naruto scowled. "He keeps saying I can't name the baby."

Kakashi blinked at them. "That's what this is all about? There are more important things than the name of a doll you'll only have for a month, you two."

Both backed down at that, realizing just how far they'd let this escalate. Sasuke mentally kicked himself, wondering how the hell he'd let that fool get to him like that. Kakashi was right, it was just a damned doll. Naruto was busy wondering how he'd let his temper get the best of him to get him to attack the other boy like that. Over a doll, for Pete's sake.

"And if both of you are going to be so stubborn on the issue, pick a different name, and find one that you can both agree on."

Both boys nodded reluctantly, eyeing each other with barely restrained loathing.

"What about the last name? He says it has to be an Uchiha. I say he's full of crap."

Kakashi rolled his visible eye. "Gods, you two. You'll never get anything done at this rate. Naruto, first, you have to respect his wish to give his child his own name. Sasuke, same thing. If it's so important to both of you, hyphenate your names together, and that way she'll have both. Alright?"

Naruto seemed to think it over for a while, doing that thing with his tongue again. Like he was trying to lick his own eye or something. Sasuke sneered, but grunted his agreement.

"Good. Now get to work." Kakashi told them sternly.

They both took their seats and sat quietly, looking at the doll and the ripped notebook.

"I'm sorry I hit you with the book." Naruto finally said.

Sasuke grunted. "Sorry I ripped up your homework." Sasuke grumbled. But Naruto heard him all the same and smiled tentatively.

"So, what are we going to call her?"

Sasuke was silent long enough that Naruto thought he hadn't heard. Finally, he spoke up again.

"Sachi."

"Sachi." Naruto repeated, saying it slowly as if testing the feel of it. "Joy. Alright, I like it. Uzumaki-Uchiha Sachi. Deal?"

Sasuke eyed him and slowly nodded.

"See?" Naruto grinned. "That wasn't so hard, just to agree. You gotta work on getting that stick out of your ass, Uchiha. You'll feel better."

Sasuke calmly reached over and slapped him across the back of the head.

"Itai! What was that for?" Naruto yelped.

Sasuke glared at him. "Dobe."

"Bastard!"

Much better, Sasuke thought. For a moment there, they were almost getting friendly. He glanced at the doll. Uzumaki-Uchiha Sachi.

May the gods help him; this was going to be the longest month of his life.

* * *

_Naruto: Day One_

_You're so mean, Kakashi-sensei! Why did you have to stick me with a bastard like him? Are you aware that he doesn't even know what my name is? And what the hell is the big idea, giving me a girl? What the hell do I know about looking after a girl? The Uchiha and a girl? Do you want me to lose my mind here or something? I bet you planned this. Operation let's-drive-Naruto-crazy. You're all against me! It's a conspiracy! The truth is out there! Viva la resistance!

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	3. Just the Two of Us

_I live! Well, sorta. Evil allergies;Benedryl does funny things to my brain. insert insane laughter_

_Fifty reviews for the first two chapters! Yay! I have high hopes for this story, and while it's against the rules to reply to reviews here,I'd still like to say a huge thank you to all the people that take the time to write their lovely comments. Reviews makes writers happy.:)So here's the next installment, the longest chapter yet. Enjoy!_

**Chapter 3: Just the Two of Us**

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_I see the crystal raindrops fall  
And see the beauty of it all  
Is when the sun comes shining through  
To make those rainbows in my mind  
When I think of you some time  
And I want to spend some time with you  
Just the two of us  
We can make it if we try  
Just the two of us  
Building castles in the sky  
Just the two of us  
You and I  
_

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_Naruto: Day Two_

_Bastard made me take the baby home the first day, saying that I should since I was "mommy". I seriously don't know why you gave me him for a partner. And I still think he's a jerk for not letting me name the doll. I liked my name, damn it! You're just lucky I know a thing or two about kids, Kakashi-sensei. Kami help me, next thing you know, he'll have clothes with Uchiha emblems for Sachi to wear. Ewww.

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Naruto grumbled the entire way home. Damn that Kakashi-sensei, and double damned that bloody Uchiha bastard.

"No, dobe, you should take it the first night. After all, she'll want her mother, ne?" He mocked in a high falsetto. "Bastard."

"Naruto!"

He turned to see Kiba running after him, waving for him to wait up.

"What's up, Kiba?"

"I was walking to work, and saw you ahead of me, so I thought I'd walk with ya. Can you believe this assignment? I swear he gets worse every time."

Naruto laughed and nodded. "He does. I'd like to know where he gets the ideas from one of these days. Then again, you get to work with Hinata, so I don't really think you get to complain. I got stuck with the Ice Princess, remember?"

Kiba snorted out a laugh. "Ice Princess, I like that one. No, I suppose I'm not as bad off as you there. Oh well, serves you right for never listening to me when I told you to get yourself a girlfriend."

Naruto flushed with embarrassment. "I told you, I'm not interested in getting a girlfriend just for the hell of it. Or just to shut you up, nice as that would be. I'll do it when I find the right person."

Kiba rolled his eyes. "Gods, blondie. You're going on seventeen and you've never even kissed a girl. There's just something wrong with that."

'Blondie' glared. "Says the one that hasn't done anything _past_ kissing with Hinata. Don't get on you're bloody high horse with me, mutt-face."

The brunette in question stuck his tongue out. "That was harsh. Alright, I gotta take this street here, see you later, dude!" Kiba waved and ran off.

Naruto waved back and turned to finish the trek to his house and only barely managed to avoid a bodily collision with the person that he was sure had not been in front of him five seconds ago. He blinked at the white shirt in front of him, vague registering that it was from the same uniform he wore as his eyes slid up to meet the expressionless face of one Hyuuga Neji. He gulped and instantly stepped back.

"H-Hyuuga-san! So sorry, I didn't see you there!" He nervously scratched at the back of his head, hoping he wasn't about to get the crap beat out of him.

Neji slowly blinked at him, then nodded. "It's alright, Uzumaki. No harm done."

Naruto let go of the breath he'd been holding, nodded, and moved to step around him.

"Uzumaki." Naruto cringed and looked back.

"Go easy on the Uchiha. He's a prick, but he's not so bad as you might think."

The blond just gaped at him. "Um…Okay."

Neji nodded and turned to walk away, leaving a confused blond in his wake. What on earth had that been about?

Naruto roughly shoved his key into the lock and pushed open his front door. Kicking off his muddy shoes and shaking his head to remove the excess rainwater, he slammed and locked the door behind him and dragged his things into the kitchen, dropping them onto the table. He eyed the baby dubiously, and decided it would be in his best interest to try and find the manual for this thing.

He dug into the teddy-bear covered backpack that Kakashi had handed him, looking way too smug, and started unpacking it. There was a baby-bottle full of water, six jars of fake, electronics friendly, baby food and a little winnie-the-pooh spoon to go with it, an extra sleeper, about a dozen diapers and at the very bottom, the Student Guide.

He'd just cracked it open when the shrill cry of the telephone made him jump. He turned and grabbed it off the wall as he began flipping through the pages. "Hello?"

"Oh, Naruto, you're home. Good, I was bored out of my mind and I need someone to be bored with, heh. See you in five!"

"Wait, Sakura.." –click-. He stared at the phone a moment before sighing and hanging it back up. Well, he mused, she'd have found out sooner or later. And less than the promised five minutes later came the knock on his door.

"It's open!" He hollered, not bothering to get up. He sat with feet up on the table, which Tsunade would kill him for is she ever caught him, doll in his lap and book held up by his nose. Combined with all the baby paraphernalia spread out on the table infront of him, it was no wonder his pink-haired friend was confused when she spotted him.  
"Naruto? What the heck is going on in here? Is that a…" He wide, sea foam green eyes stared at him.

"No, Sakura, it's a doll. Kakashi's latest project. Stuck with it for a month, have to treat it like a real kid, blah blah. Ha, and you'll never guess who my partner is."

She just blinked at him until it was all processed. "Um, alright, I won't. Who is it?"

Naruto stuck his tongue out at her. "You're no fun. It's that bastard you're all googly-eyed over, Uchiha."

"Sasuke-kun?" She asked him incredulously.

He nodded and cringed, waiting to hear the explosion. Instead of getting angry over the obvious slur against the precious Sasuke-kun, she squealed and glomped him, arms so tight around his neck that he couldn't breath through the mass of suffocating pink.

"Oh, that's the best news I've heard all week. You're his partner! For a month! Just think of all the inside info you could get for me. I need to know it all, Naruto. What's his favourite colour, favourite food, favourite everything!" She bounced with excitement, shaking him.

"Can't…breathe…" He wheezed out.

"Oh!" She immediately released him and had the grace to smile sheepishly. "Sorry. But, really, you'd be the best friend any girl ever had if you did. Please?" she batted her eyes at him, and he laughed.

"I make no promises, but if I find anything out, you'll be the first girl I pass it on to, alright?"

She beamed at him. "You're the best, Naruto."

"Damn straight." He nodded, and it was her turn to laugh as she pull out a chair to sit beside him.

"So, how does this all work? Does the doll actually do anything?"

"Well…"Just as he opened his mouth to speak, there was a whimper. Both blinked and looked down at the pink bundle on his lap. The sound came again, a little more insistent this time, before the first few authentic cries rang out.

Naruto's eyes went wide and he paled a shade. He'd known that the doll was supposed to do this, but he hadn't thought it'd be so realistic when it did. It really did sound just like a real baby, and he looked helplessly over at the girl beside him.

"Don't look at me! Pick it up or something. Does that work with this?"

Crap, he hadn't gotten that far into the manual, so he did as she suggested, picking the baby up and rocking it gently. After a few minutes, it whimpered, then made some happy gurgling sound and went quiet. He kept rocking, hoping to keep it that way, at least until he figured a few things out here.

Sakura watching him, a small, knowing smile on her face. "You know, if you weren't my best friend, I'd have snatched you up for a boyfriend like that." She snapped her fingers to emphasize it. "Any man good with kids is worth his weight in gold." She giggled when he glared at her, half-heartedly at best.

"So you're saying that being friends with a girl takes you off the list for potential boyfriends?" He asked dryly.

"Well, yeah." She laughed. "I already know your secrets. There's no mystery to it. Where's the fun in that?"

He rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the doll. "Sachi, promise me you'll never grow up to be like her."

"Hey!" She smacked him on the shoulder, and he laughed.

"So, you named it Sachi?" She peered closer.

"No, the bastard did. After we turned down the first names we thought of. He wanted to call it Nozomi. I thought that was a pretty dumb one. I wanted Suki, but he was being such a jerk about it Kakashi had to tell us to pick something else."

Sakura eyed him, feeling her heart tighten for him. Suki. Beloved. That was something he'd consider a child of his own, she mused. He was an orphan after all, living with his foster mother who was the closest thing he had to a real family. Any other ties he'd had were long gone. If he ever had any children, she was quite sure they'd be much loved.

And Sasuke had wanted Nozomi? Nozomi meant hope. What would a child really mean to him, if he'd call it hope? Something, she vowed, she'd have to find out.

"Sachi is good." She told him. "I think he was right, children are a 'joy'. So, are you guys taking turns bringing it home?"

"Yeah. He told me to take it home first, since I got stuck being 'mom'. Stupid jerk, thinks that just because he's the father he can push me around."

Sakura snickered into her hand. "You're the mother?"

He glared at her. "Shaddup."

"Alright, alright. Want me to help you figure this doll stuff out, then?"

"Sure. Here, read off the instructions, will you? I'll make sure all the stuff is here." She nodded as he handed her the book.

"Welcome to your 'Reel Feel' baby doll experience. It is the intention of this program to provide an educational tool to allow young adults and prospective parents a chance to experience caring for a infant. To properly care for this doll, you will need the following…"

They continued well into the evening, chatting and stopping to make and eat dinner, well, Sakura made proper dinner, Naruto just ate his usual package of ramen. The pink-haired girl tried to convince him to eat some of the stirfry she made, insisting that he actually needed to eat something that had more nutritional value than a Kleenex, but as usual he refused.

So she saved it, and when Tsunade arrived home, she practically fell over in gratitude for a ready meal. The older woman had already inhaled half of it when she finally took notice of the mess on her table, and the bundle in her ward's arms.

"What the hack have you got going on here, brat?"

"It's a school project, you old bat." He retorted.

"Psh. Looks like you're playing with dolls, to me. I could have sworn you gave up on tea parties with Sakura after you two hit eight."

"You're asking for it, old lady."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh yeah? What are you gonna do? Huh?"

He grinned evilly. "Call Jiraiya to come over for a visit." He told her, referring to their eccentric, extremely perverted neighbour, who had it bad for the blond woman. Her eyes widened in horror.

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me."

She made a face at him. "Fine, brat. So, what's this project, then?"

"We have to pretend to be married and look after the doll for a month."

Tsunade blinked at him. "We? You two aren't in the same classes."

It was Naruto's turn to make a face. "No, I wish Sakura was my partner. That'd make my life a whole lot easier. I got stuck with this Uchiha bastard."

Tsunade promptly inhaled a piece of broccoli and coughed violently to remove it from her wind pipe. Finally able to breathe again, she looked at him through watery eyes and burst out laughing.

"What?" He asked, indignant.

She shook her head and waved him off. "Nothing. Just…this should prove a very educational month for you." She snickered and left to go change into her house clothes, leaving Naruto to stare, nonplused, at her back.

"What was that about?" He wondered aloud, exchanging a look with his friend, who shrugged.

"Probably better not to ask." She told him, as she glanced at the clock. "Crap, I should get home. Bye Naruto." She gave him a quick hug. "Thanks again." She grinned and flounced out of the house, leaving him to his silence and his doll.

He looked down, blue eyes meeting blue eyes.

"Well, Sachi, looks like it's just you and me now."

_

* * *

Sasuke: Day Two _

_Let's see if the Idiot gets through the first night in one piece. Personally, I have my doubts. Eight pound, plastic, computerized baby doll versus hundred something pound midget blond dobe. Pretty even odds, so it could go either way, though I'm not sure if artificial intelligence is any match for natural stupidity. By the way, I've planned what to do to you for revenge. Just thought you should know.

* * *

_


	4. Cry, Baby

_Chapter four already, and the response I've gotten so far is astounding. 85 reviews! I'm gobsmacked, and oh so grateful to all those that take time to leave their comments. So, here's the latest installment. And yes, the next chapter will be the much anticipated 'Sasuke's night with the baby' chapter. yay! Ok, hyper. -sweatdrop- _

_Just to renew my disclaimer, and broaden it so that I never have to say it again, I do NOT own Naruto, I do not have any claim on the song lyrics I've been using, nor did I invent the "Diaper Dude". That actually does exist, believe it or not._

_Alright, on with it, then._

**Chapter 4: Cry, Baby**

_

* * *

_

She's old enough to know better  
Cry baby cry  
cry cry cry  
Make your mother sigh  
She's old enough to know better  
So cry baby cry.

_

* * *

_

_Naruto: Day Three_

_You are one seriously sadistic teacher, Kakashi-sensei. You need a life if you're only fun is torturing us poor students. Seriously. Making me go shopping with Sasuke-teme? I hate shopping. It's a form of torture designed by women to slowly destroy men's minds until we become mindless slaves to carry their purchases and hold their purse while they're in the bathroom. I'd rather have stayed in the school, thanks. And you can keep the bloody Uchiha there with you, too._

_Do you have any idea how many odd looks we got, two teenage guys carrying what looks and sounds like a real baby, shopping for baby things? People were staring at us, and I won't even tell you some of the things I heard them saying. Sasuke was muttering something about revenge on you. I'm thinking he might be right._

_Anyways, I got through my first night with Sachi in one piece, no thanks to your little conspiracy against me. I'm now quite sure that there is a conspiracy, and that sleep deprivation plays a large part in your plot. She woke me up three times. Three! I was so tired this morning I almost fell asleep in class._

_You owe me coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.

* * *

_

Naruto slumped down on the mall bench, Sachi in his arms and an irritated looking Uchiha standing nearby, shooting him dirty looks. Then again, he wasn't the only one giving him dirty looks. A lot of the other shoppers milling around were looking at him, both of them, with anything ranging from confusion to out and out hostility. It was rather unnerving to be the center of so much attention, and he suspected that it was also contributing to his partner's increasingly foul mood.

"Alright, Uchiha, we only have four more items to find, the rest of the list is done. Let's just get this done, ne?"

Sasuke grunted, which the blond took for an affirmative.

"Good. Alright, we already got a crib that has all these safety things," he held up the list, "and the car seat and stroller and all that junk. Now we need a playpen, a diaper bag that can hold all this crap he's written here, and one item we each think the baby should have."

Sasuke was thinking that he'd rather go beat his forehead against the nearest wall than continue this ridiculous exercise, but he followed after the blond anyways. They weren't actually buying anything, no, simply searching for the items on the list, finding a model of it they liked, and had to agree on, and writing it down, along with the price so they could keep track of whether or not they were staying within the given budget.

So off they went, in search of their final items. Kakashi had sent them all out in lieu of class, telling them to work on this part of the project. And here they were, doll, teddy bear backpack and all. Gods, he just wanted this done, and quickly.

But he was cranky now, so while he knew it'd be in his own best interest to just agree with whatever Naruto picked and get the hell out of here, he'd found himself arguing every step of the way. It hadn't mattered even if he had liked what the other boy picked, he'd still argued, and Naruto had gotten increasingly irritated with him in the process. Not that he gave a shit, really. It was the only enjoyment he was getting out of this trip, seeing the blond boy rise to the bait every time. The way his cheeks would flush and his eyes glittered with anger…

Not, of course, that he would notice such things. Naruto was a fool, and that was all he had to know about him. A fool that was currently trying to get his attention, rather excitedly holding up something black for his inspection.

"Look! It's called a "Diaper Dude" Bag! How cool is that? A diaper bag for guys! Something that's not pink or frilly or covered in cartoons! We have to choose this one. I mean, it's so obviously perfect, don't you think, Uchiha?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to argue, but was stopped by the other boys grin. He just looked so damned proud of himself; and he hated to admit it, but it was a nice bag. It looked like a messenger style pack, black with some blue detail work; you'd never actually know it was supposed to be a diaper bag.

"Alright, Dobe. Write it down."

Naruto just blinked at him, mouth slightly agape. He'd actually agreed, on the first try? Was he sick? Or worse, being nice? He mentally snorted. Nah, he probably just wanted out as quickly as possible, not that Naruto could blame him. So he kept his disbelieving comments to himself and pulled out their list of items to check it off.

"There! All but the items we want to pick. I already know what I want, so you should go pick out your thing."

Sasuke repressed a long-suffering sigh, refusing to acknowledge that things had almost been friendly for a moment there, and looked around the aisle they were standing in. He quickly spotted something and walked straight to it, earning the blond's curiosity.

"Whatcha got there, Uchiha? Eh? Mozart? Are you serious? You want to get the baby a Mozart CD?"

Sasuke glared at him. "Mozart stimulates the brain. I was thinking you should get a copy, too."

Naruto instantly puffed up in indignation. "I do not need a Mozart CD, you bastard! For your information, I already have one. What do you have to say about that?"

Sasuke, in fact, didn't have anything to say to that. He really owned a copy of Mozart? The idea that this boy listened to that sort of music, music he himself enjoyed, had never once crossed his mind. He was an odd one, this blond boy. Maybe…maybe he wasn't such an idiot, after all.

"Hn." Was his reply after a moment. "So, what are you getting?"

"A photo album." Naruto told him, eyeing him warily and waiting for the comment that was bound to come.

"What for? I'm sure there are more useful things than that." He sneered.

"It is useful. It would be filled for her with pictures of her family…so she could always remember them, no matter what. Happy now, you nosey bastard?"

Sasuke stared at him a moment, then grunted and turned away. "Come on, dobe, let's get the hell out of here. We're done, and I want to go home."

"Yeah…hey! Wait up! Get you're scrawny ass back here, Uchiha, it's your turn to take Sachi home."

Sasuke mentally cursed. He'd rather hoped the dobe would forget about that part. The day had been crappy enough, after all. The teachers had all been informed of Kakashi's new torture…erm, project, and had all responded in their own odd, unique, and sometimes frightening ways. He shuddered thinking of the way Gai-sensei had cried and given his speech of the joys of youth, all the while trying to _hug_ him. Quick thinking on his part, in other words grabbingthe nearest classmateand using him as a shield to distract him, had saved him from that particular fate.

He slowly turned around and glared at Naruto, but the other boy just smiled at him and started handing over all the things he had strapped to his body. Sasuke's lip curled with distaste; Uchihas don't get within ten feet of anything that resembled a teddy bear, and he'd be damned if he'd carry that ridiculous looking bag. Never mind carrying the doll. Where was the respect for his pride, dammit? Apparently, it wasn't anywhere around here as the blond shoved the doll into his arms.

"No worries, teme. It's not that hard. I mean, I did it last night and survived to tell the tale. So I'm sure the almighty Uchiha can handle it, right?" Naruto grinned mockingly, and even knowing he was being baited, Sasuke still felt himself bristle.

"Of course I can, idiot. Anyone could do this." He hissed back.

Naruto snickered. Of course, he wasn't going to actually admit to the Uchiha that it hadn't been that easy of a night. The baby had "woken up" three times during the night, and it had taken a lot of caffeine to keep the lack of sleep from showing. But Sasuke didn't need to know that. In fact, Naruto was sure it'd be that much better this way.

"Good, then. Then manual's in there, if you actually need to read it. Oh, and here's my number if you can't handle it and need some help." He grinned his unholy, cat-with-the-canary grin as she shoved the scrap of paper into the teddy bear bag. "Try not break any of that stuff, okay? I'd hate to have to tell Kakashi that we can't finish because you screwed up." With that he laughed, waved, and ran off leaving a stunned Uchiha who couldn't decide if he should chase after him and beat him to a bloody pulp, or wait until tomorrow, show him up, and then beat him to a bloody pulp.

But since the fool was long gone already, he was left with only the one option. Huffing in irritation, and shooting a death glare at some elderly woman who looked at him like he was something she'd rather not find on the bottom of her shoe he turned and left to hunt down his car in the mall parking lot.

The entire time he drove he was occupied with thoughts of how to prove that Naruto was indeed an idiot, followed by the thought that he was spending way too much time with his mind on the other boy. He should not be thinking so much about him, he was just a moron, anyways, no matter what Kakashi tried to tell him.

Oh yes, Kakashi knew. Damn that man to hell, he _knew._ He'd known the Uchihas for years, having worked with his uncle, Uchiha Obito. But Obito was gone, and Kakashi was still around. And it didn't help that he was still, technically, his guardian. Not that he'd ever actually tell anyone that. As far as they were all concerned, his brother was his guardian for now, and when he hit eighteen in a few months, he'd be free.

But none of that mattered, because the blasted pervert _knew_. He'd known Sasuke since he was a child, and seen all along that while other boys grew older and realised that girls did not, in fact, have dangerous cooties and were actually _quite_ enthralling, Sasuke had never, ever shown any interest. He'd always been good looking, and that had brought flocks of girls after him. But he'd never cared, and Kakashi had seen it all. By the time Sasuke figured it out for himself, it had been too late and the older man had already begun playing his little games.

He was determined to find someone for the youngest Uchiha. And so he made a point of always pairing him with boys he thought suitable, hoping to cause a spark. Nothing ever came of it, and Sasuke was determined that nothing ever would. Most especially not with his latest effort of pairing him with Naruto. Personally, he thought Kakashi must have been getting desperate.

_It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that zing_, the old line floated through his mind. He'd never found that 'zing', and had long ago decided that it wasn't worth trying without it. So to hell with Kakashi and his plans, he was going to do things his own way on this.

All too soon, he was pulling into his own driveway. Sighing, he parked and turned off the car, mentally bracing himself. He gathered the doll and supplies and carefully opened the front door. If he timed this right, he could get to his own rooms before anyone saw…

"Now what do we have here, little brother?" Came the deep voice.

Shit.

Sasuke kept his face blank and turned to look at his only sibling. "It's a project for school, aniki. We have to care for this doll for a month, among other things. If you'll excuse me, I'll leave you to your work." He started forward and hoped his brother would drop the subject.

"Must be for Kakashi again. Who is your partner this time?" Itachi asked, smirking at him.

Sasuke snorted. "Some blond fool. Naruto. Clumsy idiot does nothing but _smile_ at everything and eat ramen." He stomped off up the stairs, still muttering.

Itachi watched him go, thoughtful. "How very interesting, little brother…"

Sasuke heard him and slammed the bedroom door behind him, wishing feverently that everyone would stay the hell out of his business.

Sachi started to cry. Loudly.

He sighed as he looked down at the blue glass eyes, mouth twisted into a sardonic grimace.

"Et tu, Brute?" He asked.

Sachi wailed.

_

* * *

Sasuke: Day Three _

_It's my turn with the doll tonight. The dobe seemed to survive well enough, so it can't possibly be that difficult a task. I'm sure my brother will be quite entertained though, thank you. _

_And that shopping expedition you sent us out on was the worst farce I've ever had the misfortune of having to not only witness, but be a participant in. Those damned girls that follow me around as though I'm water in the desert looked as though they were about to have palpitations every time I had to hold that doll. Apparently the combination of myself and a baby, even a fake one, is too much for their small, hormone drenched minds to conceive of all at once._

_It's rather disgusting, really. I can tell they're all picturing me with my supposed future children. Supposedly birthed by them. At which point I could only assume that I was massively drugged and recovering from a full frontal lobotomy to have allowed such a thing to happen. But, I digress._

_By the way, you may want to have a word with Iruka-sensei. Just a suggestion, of course.

* * *

_


	5. MrMom

_Eek, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update. -hides- It was my computer's fault, I swear! It got a nasty case of spyware that was messing with everything and kept crashing me, and it took forever to get rid of it all. It was not pretty, but I'm back! Yay! And finally, the one I've been dying to write since day one of this, Sasuke's night with the baby! -evil grin- _

_Thank you all for being so patient, I adore all my readers. :)_

**Chapter 5: Mr. Mom**

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_'Cause  
Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer  
Crayons go up one drawer higher  
Rewind Barney for the eighteenth time  
Breakfast, six naps at nine  
There's bubble gum in the baby's hair  
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair  
Been crazy all day long  
Oh been crazy all day long and it's only Monday  
Mr.Mom_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Sasuke: Day Four_

_I LOATHE YOU. That was hell. That was worse than hell. This is designed solely to torture me, isn't it? I won't stand for it. I'm an Uchiha, damn it, and you won't break me that easily. I'll concede the battle, but the war is far from won. Prick._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Four thirty p.m.

Sasuke stared down at the wailing doll in his arms and heaved an exasperated sigh. He had a distinct, dreadful impression that this was going to be a very long night. He started bouncing her, like he'd seen countless women (and Naruto) do, and after a moment, it worked and Sachi quieted with a pleased sounding gurgle.

Well, that wasn't so bad. If that was all there was to it, this should be a breeze. Not that it wouldn't be, anyways. He was an Uchiha, after all. A genius, according to some. One little plastic doll was not going to bring him down. He walked over to his bed, placed two pillows side by side and lay the doll down in the middle so that she couldn't roll away. Hey, he knew something about kids, see? Alright, it was common sense, shut up.

Read the manual, the dobe had told him. As if. Maybe the blond twit needed to read it, but he, as he'd already said, was a genius. Geniuses did not need to real manuals. He 'humphed' and smirked to himself. He'd show who needed the stupid manual.

While Sachi was being quiet, he decided this would be a good time to change and take a quick shower; Itachi would have dinner ready soon. With one last, somewhat suspicious look at the doll resting peacefully on his bed, he gathered his change of clothes and crossed the hall to the bathroom.

As soon as the door shut behind him and his shirt was halfway over his head, an electronically enhanced screech rent the air. He jerked like someone had struck him, stumbled and almost fell over the edge of the tub before he managed to right himself and yank the material back down. He hauled the door open and rushed to his room, but as soon as he was close enough to touch Sachi, she stopped screaming.

He glared at the doll, poked it, then decided he was satisfied and went back to the bathroom. This time he waited a moment, and when nothing happened, he started pulling off his clothes again. The shirt had just popped over his head, leaving his already messy hair a riot when the shriek came again. He cursed, dropped the shirt on the floor and ran back to his room again. He got within three feet of the doll and, just like before, it stopped.

Alright, now he was getting annoyed. "What the hell is your problem?" He muttered. Sachi declined to answer him. He waited, and waited some more, but when not so much as a whimper was heard, he tried, again, to go take his shower. He eyed the door as he took off one sock, then the next. Slowly, his belt followed. When nothing has yet to happen, he pushed his jeans off his hips and was just pulling the first leg free when the wailing started. He started; hopping on one foot a moment trying to keep his balance, then kicked the pants free and stomped across the hall.

He knew, of course, that the stomping would do nothing to intimidate the plastic doll to his will, but it still made him feel better, so he stomped. Right up to the bed, leaning over to glare at the pink wrapped bundle. But this time, Sachi did not stop crying. If anything, she wailed louder. He frowned, and poked her. Nothing. Feeling uneasy, he picked her up and tried the bouncing thing again, but Sachi wailed like there was no tomorrow.

What the hell was different now, that she would stop crying when he came back before, but not now? He was fairly certain she couldn't "see", so the fact that he was half naked shouldn't have bothered her. There had been nothing special about what he'd worn, either, to explain what had changed. But that was all that had changed. Before, he'd been clothed, now he was in his underwear.

Cursing himself to think, he carried Sachi towards the bathroom to retrieve his things. As soon as they were across the threshold, she stopped crying. He blinked down at her, now thoroughly miffed and sure he was missing an important detail here. He frowned, and experimentally walked back to his bedroom. He sat on the bed, and within five minutes, the crying started again. So he got up, and walked back to the bathroom. She stopped.

"Either I'm missing something, or you're out to drive me crazy." Sasuke snorted. "Just like your _mother_." He added as an afterthought, which did much to sooth his nerves. When in doubt, insult the dobe. It did wonders.

Alright, fine, it had to be something about his clothes. So one article at a time, he picked them up and shook them, waiting to hear something jingle or fall out. When that came up empty, he started digging through the pockets, precariously balancing the doll at the same time. Finally, he found the small, unfamiliar object in his back pocket, and mentally slapped himself. The blasted ID tag. The one that he clearly remembered Kakashi telling them that the baby would respond to, but no one else.

Muttering curses about perverts with too much free time on their hands, he carried the doll back to his bed, and this time put the tag with her. Smirking in victory, ignoring that the victory was over a doll, he turned and finally, finally went and took his shower. It felt quite ruined though by the fact that he had become slightly paranoid and kept sticking his head out past the shower curtain to listen for crying.

Finally dressed again, and slightly damp, he dumped his dirty cloths into the laundry hamper and padded barefoot back to retrieve his charge from her pillow cocoon. He tied the cord holding the pendant ID tag around his neck as a pre-emptive measure this time before picking up Sachi and the teddy bear bag, which he still despised for its teddy-bear cuteness level, and headed down stairs to see what his aniki had prepared for dinner today.

Six p.m.

Dinner, as it turned out, was a simple meal of rice and miso soup, which was quite fine by Sasuke. He wasn't really a picky eater, as long as it wasn't greasy or sweet. Besides, he liked miso. Half way through his meal, Sachi whimpered, drawing Itachi's curious attention as well, and he suddenly realized that the 'baby' needed to eat as well. Or at least he assumed it did. Maybe it said in the manual…which he still wasn't going to read.

So, deciding to rely on his innate genius and deductive skills, he started pawing through the teddy bag, a mental "aha!" when he found a jar of baby food. Take that, manual. He eyed the jars contents, slightly put-off by the rather nasty brown-green colour of the…whatever it was. Something electronics friendly, he assumed as he popped it open. Curious, he sniffed at the mush/food and decided it smelled like wet newspaper. Not particularly pleasant, but he wasn't the one that had to eat it.

He shifted Sachi to recline in the crook of his arm, carefully gripped the small winnie-the-pooh spoon and scooped up a small blob of the 'food' and after a moments consideration, simply shrugged and pushed it into her mouth. When the spoon came back relatively clean and the doll made that happy gurgle noise again, he figured he must have done it right. So there, dobe, he thought. Manual, indeed.

Feeling pleased with himself, he took a bite of his own food before it started getting cold, and then scooped another spoonful to Sachi. He quickly worked up a rhythm, mentally counting, much to his own sardonic amusement, _one for me, one for you._ What was left of his dinner disappeared quickly, and he started to wonder just how much a doll needed to eat, anyways.

He shrugged again, and figured the doll would have some sort of signal. Like she'd just stop eating the food, right? Sure thing. So he scooped up more food and fed it to her, idly watching his brother start washing the dishes.

Sachi ate her mouthful of food, then made the oddest sound Sasuke had heard from her yet. It was somewhere between the whimper and the gurgle, and it gave him a bad feeling. It came again, louder, and his eyes widened as he started down at her. Nothing good could come from this.

The doll sat quiet for a moment, and Sasuke didn't truly appreciate his own foolishness for leaning in closer until the _glob_ of wet, mushy, brown-green fake baby food was regurgitated onto his very shocked face.

He jolted back into his chair so quickly he tipped dangerously a moment, landed with a thud, and in the reigning silence slowly reached up to incredulously touch the mess dripping off the end of his nose.

Sachi did her happy gurgle again.

He heard a muffled, choked noise, and looked to see his aniki practically face down in the dishwater, shoulders shaking with the effort not to laugh. He glared, even though it was ruined by the mess he was wearing.

"I hope you drown in there." He muttered, quickly picking up all his things and storming from the room.

Itachi watched him go, vision blurred by tears of mirth and laughed to himself again as he pictured the look on his little brother's face when the doll vomited on him. That was quite possibly the most priceless expression he'd seen on Sasuke's face, ever.

Oh, this was going to be so very, very amusing.

Eight p.m.

Sachi was being surprising accommodating about him doing his homework. Well, what little of it there was to do. He was good at having most of it already completed by the time he left class, but he did have a few pages of math equations left to do. Algebra. He like algebra. It was nice and neat and orderly, and there was only ever one right answer in the end, and it was always the same way to find said answer. Yes, he liked math.

Babies and dobes on the other hand…there was no logic to that. Not that he'd seen, yet. He didn't like thing that could be dealt with by using logic. These two new, if temporary additions to his life were both confusing and irritating the hell out of him. He liked his life orderly and routine, dammit.

He finished the final problem and closed the heavy text with a thud. He eyed the bed, where Sachi was once again laying among his pillows, and wondered just how long this lovely silence would last. Knowing Kakashi, he wouldn't get much peace…

Sachi whimpered, and he sighed. Right on time. He hefted himself up from the spot on the floor infront of his little coffee table and went to see what was wrong this time. She'd cried once already after dinner, but he'd found that the bouncing his arms thing had worked again, much to his relief.

He picked her up, and with a practiced air now, stood in the one spot and rocked her. He waited, and rocked, but this time nothing happened. He frowned and started twisting from side to side instead. Sachi still cried. Alright, onto plan B. Which really sucked, because he didn't actually have a plan B.

So he went to plan C. Dig through the bag for the answer. After making sure that he was in possession of that friggen tag. He pulled out the half empty jar of food, eyed it, and shook his head. He'd just fed her. Next item was the spare sleeper, which he didn't want. His hand found something large and solid, and he pulled out the bottle full of water, suddenly sure he'd found what he needed.

He quickly uncapped it and held it to her mouth. She instantly went quiet, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He sat on the bed and let her have the bottle for a bit, as long as it kept her happy. He watched her, wondering if this is what it would be like when he had his own children.

It wasn't that he didn't really like children. Sure, there were messy, loud, smelly, sometime obnoxious and downright disgusting, but he figured he could handle that. Maybe. Kids scared him, more than anything. They were so small and fragile and naively trusting of the world around them.

And someday, alright, someday far, far off, he did want a child of his own. Everybody did, right? Of course, it made it slightly more difficult for him with the fact that he wasn't remotely sexually interested in females, but there were ways around that. Surrogates or even adoption. He just didn't want to do it alone…

Something truly foul wafted past his nose, and he jerked from his musings and sniffed the air again. Something in here _stunk_. He wrinkled his nose in disgust, but sniffed again to try and determine the source of the awful smell. Not so surprisingly, his eyes fell on the bundle on his lap. It was Sachi giving off that stink. He felt a sudden, dreadful sinking in the pit of his stomach. A smell like that only meant one thing.

She needed her diaper changed.

Oh, _hell._

Cursing colourfully, he laid her on the bed, grabbed a clean one from the bag and some tissues off his nightstand, and eyed her clothes. How the hell did that thing come off, anyways? Closer inspection found a small row of snaps along the back of her neck, and another that ran the inseam of her legs. Apparently these things had already been thought of. He pulled the pink fabric apart and freed her legs.

Sasuke was about to change a diaper on a plastic doll. He was pretty sure he heard the last of his pride and dignity leaving the room, and looked up at the ceiling with a whimpered, "Why me?"

Taking a deep breath, which he quickly regretted, he cringed and reached for the plastic sticky tabs at her side. He'd never changed a diaper, true, but he had a pretty good idea how the things worked.

Tabs loose and tissues ready, he slowly pulled back the front and quickly shut his eyes. Gods above, did they have to make it so…realistic? He knew that it was just the baby food and water he'd given her, but he was positive it hadn't quite looked or smelled like that going in.

As quickly as humanly possible, he had her clean and in a clean diaper. He rolled up the used one, held it out infront of him by two fingers as though it was potentially hazardous and went to put it first in a plastic bag, then the main garbage bin in the kitchen. He then immediately washed his hands, at least ten times, and allowed himself a shudder of disgust. _Ewwww._

Three a.m.

God almighty, make it _stop_!

Four hours now. Four straight hours of crying. It was driving him crazy. He needed sleep, dammit. Badly. He had a test first class; he needed to actually be aware enough to write his own name down.

He had tried everything. Food, drink, diaper change again, rocking. What else _was_ there? He'd even given in and read the manual, including the help section. Was this normal? Was this supposed to happen? Was she broken? If she was broken, how the hell was he supposed to ever make her stop?

He couldn't think anymore. His body's demands for sleep were fogging his mind. The manual had offered no help, and he was out of ideas. He sat in the semi-darkness of his room, in the middle of his bed, still rocking the little plastic doll.

"Please, please stop crying…" He begged her.

Itachi had already stuck his head through the door once, when it hadn't stopped after the first twenty minutes, and frowned at him. When he'd returned again an hour later, he'd looked considerably more irritated.

Standing in the doorway now in his pyjama pants, hair in wild disarray and left eye twitching, he looked downright homicidal. "Make. It. Stop." He ground out.

Sasuke felt like pulling out his own hair. "I'm _trying_ to, aniki." He snapped back.

Itachi's eye twitched again. "I don't care what you do, make it stop. I'll pay for a new one, if I have to." He pivoted on his heel and stomped from the room, Sasuke glaring at his back.

He looked again at the pile of rubbish scattered over his bed, the result of up-ending the teddy bear bag and dumping out the contents to search for that obviously elusive answer. There had to be something. Anything. _Please, please, Kami…_

His eyes landed on a crumpled scrap of paper and immediately lit up. The dobe! The blond fool had given him his phone number if he needed help. It had been in jest, he knew, but he was desperate and willing to overlook his pride just this once if it meant him getting any sleep at all tonight.

He smoothed the paper over his knee and grabbed his cordless unit off the bedside table, dialling with one hand while still rocking Sachi with the other. Whatever price the twit wanted, he'd pay it at this moment. Anything, just make it stop.

The phone at the other end of the line rang three times before he heard a click and a male voice answer him.

"Joe's Pizza, open 24 hours to serve you better. May I take your order?"

Sasuke just blinked and stared at the receiver stupidly.

"Excuse me?"

"Joe's Pizza. May I take your order, sir?"

Sasuke hit the off button and threw the phone across the room.

"Damn you, Uzumaki!"

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Naruto: Day Four_

_Heh, this should be interesting to see how Sasuke-teme survived the night. I wonder if he ever found out that number I gave him was for a pizza parlour? I'd have loved to have seen the look on his face if he actually tried to call me, poor sod. I know he thinks this is all so easy and he'll do a perfect job just because he's the almighty Uchiha, but I'm hoping he has a rough night with Sachi. Would do him some good to be knocked off his high horse every once in a while._

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	6. Hit Me With Your Best Shot

_I know, I know, I should be shot for going so long without an update. -sweatdrop- And I really am sorry, but I've been sooo busy lately. I had class, homework, work, babysitting for two different households, and what little time I found to myself was spent trying to work on my art, and the stories kind of got pushed to the side. _

_But I did not forget them, or all my readers. I've quit working now, because it was such a hassle to do it all, and I don't really **have** to work right now, and when I checked recently and saw that my last chapter had gotten over fifty reviews, well I was hit with a major guilt trip and absolutely had to try to write again. Struggling with some major writer's block here, so bear with._

_So, here's hoping, and here's the latest chapter. Forgive me for being gone so long, I'll try to be better about it now that things have settled a bit. Oh, and I promise, really I do, that we'll get into the "good stuff" real soon, lol. I just hate to rush it, ya know?_

**Chaper 6: Hit Me With Your Best Shot**

_

* * *

_

_Thats o.k., lets see how you do it  
Put up your dukes, lets get down to it!  
Hit me with your best shot!  
Why dont you hit me with your best shot!  
Hit me with your best shot!  
Fire away!

* * *

_

_Sasuke Day 5: I'm sleep deprived and surrounded by idiots. How is this supposed to teach me anything? I was awake so late last night, I'll be surprised if I even managed to be legible on my exam this morning. I suggest that someone look into the operations system of that doll, since it seems to be malfunctioning. It can't possibly be normal for it to cry like that…can it?_

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, Uzumaki Naruto was not stupid. Alright, he was no genius, either, and tended to act before he thought things through, but he wasn't stupid. Really. 

Which was why he figured it was in his best interest to do his almighty best to avoid the Uchiha as much as possible today. He'd caught a glimpse of him this morning before the first bell, and while he looked almost like his usual self, there had been definite signs of fatigue. And when Sasuke had seen him, well, it was safe to say that Naruto was thankful that looks couldn't actually kill.

He could feel the angry gaze on his back most of the day, and it was making him nervous. Surely Sasuke-teme could take one little joke…right? It's not like he got him with a balloon full of shaving cream in the middle of a crowded hall in school. Although…Nah. Not today, at least.

A slap to the back of his head brought him rudely back into reality, and put his nose right into the spoonful of butterscotch pudding he'd been about to eat.

"Argh! Kiba, you jerk!" Naruto grabbed for the paper napkin on his lunch tray and wiped the mess off his face, glaring at his laughing friends. Great, now he'd be smelling butterscotch all day.

"Woke you up, didn't it?" Kiba grinned smugly.

"I was already awake, thank you."

Chouji snorted from his place beside his long time best friend, who was current asleep as usual. "Yeah right. You had that day-dreaming look that promises nothing good."

Naruto placed a hand over his heart and managed a hurt expression. "You wound me. Are you suggesting that I would do anything improper? Moi?"

An arm wrapped around his neck from behind. "Of course you would, Naruto. It's what you live for." Sakura announced before attacking his skull with a noogie while he squawked and begged for mercy.

"I give, Sakura! I give!"

Sakura let him go with a pat on the head, shoved him over on the bench and sat beside him. Naruto, for his part, pouted and rubbed at his head.

"Now look, you messed up my hair. You're not very nice to people you want favours from, Sakura."

She rolled her eyes. "First, your hair is always messy. Second, you'll do the favour because I'm your best friend and you love me. So, what have you found out so far?"

Naruto eyed her while reaching for his pudding. "I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you."

She grinned evilly. "I still have those photos of you from back in kindergarten."

The poor pudding fell unnoticed to the floor with a wet splat. "What? You promised me you got rid of those!" Naruto's eyes were wide and he'd paled a shade. His friends watched the exchange with interest.

"What, are you kidding? Blackmail material like that only comes around once. That stuff is gold, I tell you. Gold."

"What kind of pictures are we talking about, here?" Kiba piped up.

"Nothing!" the blond shrieked. "No pictures! No pictures, right, Sakura?"

"What kind of pictures?" Kiba repeated.

"Oh, you should see it, Kiba. It was so cute, too. We had this chest of dress-up clothes in our kindergarten class and Naruto thought he'd look so good in this lovely…"

"Blue! His favourite colour is blue! Everything he picked when we went on that mock-shopping trip was some shade of blue." Naruto interrupted, looking desperate.

Sakura laughed and patted him on the shoulder. "You're too easy, Naruto."

"So…no pictures?"

"Nah. Kiba couldn't afford them, anyways." Sakura's moss green eyes drifted away and took on a dreamy quality. "So, he likes blue, hm?"

Naruto didn't have to look to know what she was gazing at. "I still don't know what you see in that bastard. He's such a prick."

Sakura sighed. "No, he's not. He's cool, and mysterious, and gorgeous and smart and rich. He's got everything going for him."

"Except a personality or a sense of humour." Naruto muttered under his breath.

"Oh, come on! Look at him, for Pete's sake!" Sakura pointed, and naturally, Naruto looked. "If you were a girl, you'd be drooling, too."

Naruto was pretty sure that even if he were a girl, he'd not be drooling over that stuck-up jerk. But he felt the oddest twinge when he gazed over at the Uchiha, sitting by himself at the corner table with Sachi and surrounded on all sides by adoring fan-girls who were make sheep's eyes at him for all they were worth.

As much as he knew that he should be envious of all the female attention and adoration, should still hate the prick for being such an ass all the time, hence why he insisted on sitting alone, the twinge was there all the same. He felt, briefly mind you, sorry for the guy. For all the tough Ice Prince attitude, Sasuke looked…lonely.

Naruto shook his head and sternly reminded himself that he shouldn't be worried over whether or not the jerk was lonely, because this was the same jerk that looked like he wanted to kill him as soon as he could get his hands on him. With that firmly in mind, he finished his lunch and left to get to his next class.

* * *

The gods were clearly against him this week. 

"Come again, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi smiled, or at least it looked like he did it was hard to tell the way his face was always covered by his weird high collared shirts. "You heard me, Naruto. I want you all to arrange to spend at least one night, if not the entire weekend, at your partner's house. I don't care which partner acts the host, but that is your homework for the weekend."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Sucks, don't it?"

"But…But…!"

"Deal with it, Naruto. You and Sasuke will both have to do this, the point of it being that you'll have to work together to look after your baby this time. Got it?"

Naruto slumped into his seat with a pout. It was obviously he'd lost. "Yeah, I got it. But if I'm dead come Monday morning, I am so going to haunt you."

Kakashi just patted him on the head. "I can live with that. Have a good weekend. Class dismissed!" He announced.

The blond very reluctantly turned to look at the overly smug Uchiha sitting beside him, and prayed that maybe, somehow, he'd forgotten the prank. "I never thought I'd be saying this to a guy, but your place or mine?"

Sasuke's lips twitched, like there had been a ghost of a smile there for a moment while he picked up his bag and waited for the fool to move out of his way so he could leave the room like the rest of the class already had.

"My place is probably cleaner."

Naruto instantly, predictably, bristled as he gathered his own bag and Sachi. "Hey, my place is clean!"

Sasuke just raised a brow at him.

"It is! Most of the time. Maybe…when Tsunade freaks out and makes me help her clean, so shut up."

That made the other brow lift to join its mate. "Tsunade? The Tsunade, the doctor?"

Naruto blinked at him. "Yeah…how did you know?"

"She knew my parents." He said simply, his mind trying to figure in just what this meant now.

"Oh…so, wait, where are we going for the weekend, then?"

Sasuke weighed his options. Tsunade, or Itachi. He sighed and went with the lesser of two evils. "You're place, I guess."

"Er, alright."

By this point they were out towards the bus zones, both following each other until a startling pink flash filled his vision and made him blink in surprise.

"Hey, Naruto, are we still on for movie night? I got your favorite…Sasuke-kun! I…um…what are you doing here?" Sakura blushed prettily and tucked a strand of her famous pink hair behind one ear, shooting questioning looks at Naruto.

"Oh, Kakashi-sensei is being a bastard again, and is making me spend this weekend with this other bastard here, so we'll be at…"

"My place!" Sasuke interrupted, grabbing Naruto by the arm. He knew that bringing Naruto home to meet Itachi could be disastrous, but judging by the sparkly, giddy happy look in Sakura's green eyes, it'd be worse to go with Naruto. It wasn't that he hated girls, per say. Some were alright, but these fan girls always drooling over him grated on just about every nerve he had.

"Yeah, we're…wait, we are?" Naruto turned confused blue eyes on him.

"Yes, we are." Sasuke ground out, hoping the dense twit would get the hint. "I was just getting your address to go pick you up later so you'll have time to grab a few things. _Right, Dobe_?"

Naruto nervously took a step back at the threatening look in those dark as pitch eyes. "Right! Right, like I was saying, Sakura, sorry, but I'll have to take a rain check this week, alright?"

Sasuke wondered suspiciously why this announcement seemed to do little to dampen her enthusiasm. She simply paused for a moment, then beamed at them both.

"Of course it is, Naruto. But you're bringing the snacks next week, got it?" Then she winked at him and twirled away, leaving the raven-haired teen feeling very much like he was missing something he should know.

"I'll be there to pick you up at six, got it?"

"Yeah, here, let me write down the address…"Naruto dug through his bag for the necessary pen and paper for a moment before Sasuke tapped him on the shoulder.

"Don't bother, I remember where Tsunade lives."

"Oh…alrighty, then. So…"

Six. Be ready." And with that, the other boy turned and walked away towards the parking lot with Naruto trying to glare holes into his back.

"What a stuck up prick. Stupid, prissy, lousy Uchiha-AAH!" He yelped and spun around, hands automatically going behind himself to shield his behind from further attack.

"KIBA! You ass, what did you kick me for?" He demanded of the laughing dog lover.

"'Cause the sing told me to, dumbass." Kiba grinned evilly at him.

"What sign? There's no sign!"

Shikamaru reached around him and tugged a paper off his shirt, handing it to him.

"_Kick me, I'm a Dobe._

_Ps: Don't think I forgot, idiot."_

Naruto just stood there sputtering at the paper while his friends laughed at him.

"That _bastard_! Oh, it is _on_."

Kiba just laughed again. "Tut-tut, language, Naruto. Not in front of the baby, remember?"

_

* * *

Naruto Day 5: I want a divorce. Rotten bastard no-good Uchiha.

* * *

_


	7. Eye of the Tiger

_Yowza, alrighty. Here we go, finally another chapter. holds up an umbrella as a shield I swear, I'm trying, I'm just so busy, I'm hardly ever even home anymore. It kinda sucks, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. _

_So, here we finally have the next installment, which I've been very slowly working on bit by bit as I find the time. I'm very thankful to all my readers, who leave me such lovely reviews which tend to kick my butt into gear and maybe actually get me to work on this once in a while, heh._

_I once again beg for your forgiveness for the lateness, and hope you all enjoy chapter 7.  
_

_:3  
_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 7: Eye of the Tiger**_  
_

* * *

_It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight  
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger_

* * *

_Naruto Day 6: Have to go spend my weekend at the Uchiha's house, to look after the baby together. I don't see why, I can look after her just fine on my own, it's not like kids are that hard. Though it should be interesting to see how he handles her, I get the feeling he's probably never changed a diaper before he was assigned this project, ya know? Sachi should be happy we're not her real parents, cuz we would be the poster people for a dysfunctional family.

* * *

_

If the great and might Uchiha Sasuke wanted a fight, Naruto was more than willing to give him one. The fact that he had been the one to start this had, of course, conveniently left his mind to make way for plans. He checked off his mental list on his fingers.

"alright, glow sticks, bang-snaps, duct tape, twine, super glue, paint, markers, fake blood, stink bombs…yup, looks like it's all here. You should have known better than to mess with Uzumaki Naruto, Sasuke-teme." The blond rubbed his hands together gleefully, anticipation already singing through his veins. This was going to be _good_.

* * *

Sasuke debated with himself for a good half hour whether he should tell Itachi to expect a guest, or if he should just try to smuggle the daft blond twit through a window with the hopes that his aniki wouldn't notice anything. While the second option was really, really tempting, he knew better than to try and get anything past his brother, who seemed to have a sixth sense for when the younger Uchiha was lying or hiding something. 

But he still wasn't going to be stupid about it. As he grabbed his car keys and slipped out the front door, he called, "I'll be back in a bit, Aniki, I have to go pick up my lab partner, he's staying over to work on our project." And with that he promptly shut the door and walked at a very brisk pace (Uchihas don't _run_) to his car and floored it out of the driveway.

Damned dobe was going to make his weekend hell, but he was determined that he was at least going to take the fool down with him.

* * *

Naruto switched the channel and eyed the clock on the wall, determined that he was going to make sure he was late being ready just to spite that jerk. It was two minutes to six, and he wanted to see just how punctual his lab partner would be. Sachi made her happy gurgle sound on his lap and he patted her on the head. 

"We'll show him who's a better parent, won't we? And kick his ass while doing it."

At six on the dot, the doorbell rang, and Naruto rolled his eyes, getting up of the couch. He opened the door for Sasuke, who's expression went from irritated to down right annoyed when he saw that his partner clearly wasn't ready to leave.

"Dobe, I told you to be ready for six. Where are your shoes, let's get a move on."

Naruto just smiled innocently at him, mentally giving himself a point."Sorry, teme, I guess I lost track of time."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Idiot. just get your things and lets go."

Naruto just grinned, and after letting Sasuke into the house (tempting as it has been to leave him on the doorstep), went about gathering his things, making a grand production of it. he turned off the tv, picked up the doll from the couch and cooed to her about going a trip, then snagged his bag off the dinning room chair and sat on the base of the stairs leading to the second floor of the house, taking as long as he possibly could to tie his shoes and enjoying every moment of it. after he'd finally picked which coat to wear from the closet and finally found his keys (he'd been sure he'd heard the Uchiha growl at him once or twice) he turned and announced that he was ready to leave. A quick glance at the clock marked it at twenty after.

"Come on, teme, don't be such a slowpoke." He called as he locked the front door and skipped down the steps, mentally sniggering.

"Shut up and get in the car." Sasuke ordered, thoroughly miffed now. He hated being made to wait, and he knew damned well that it'd been done on purpose. He slid into the driver's seat and barely gave the half-wit enough time to get his seatbelt on before he peeled out of the driveway, tires squealing as they made contact with the roadside and his lab partner beside him squealing for him to slow the hell down. He smirked and said nothing, feeling much better now.

"You ass, if I'd known what a crazy-ass driver you were, I'd have made you stay at my place!" Naruto glared blue fire at him, one arm locked around Sachi and the other hand holding a white knuckled grip on the "holy-shit" handle.

Sasuke merely shrugged, not bothering to look at him. "It's your own fault we're running late."

"Late? What the hell are we late for? And it's not my fault!"

"Dinner. Aniki is very particular about being punctual."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Figures. Is he as bad a you?"

Sasuke smirked, amused. "Worse."

Naruto groaned in despair, muttering under his breath about damned anal-retentive Uchihas until Sasuke took a particularly sharp turn going way too fast, making him cling to the seat and cringe.

When the car finally came to a complete stop, much to Naruto's combined relief and dread, he found himself staring at what could only be the Uchiha household. It was by no means a small house, but it wasn't a mansion, either. The simply, tasteful design of gray stone and white siding spoke volumes, and he was suddenly sure that this would be the type of place with collections of crystal, fine china and priceless antiques everywhere. Pretentious, he thought.

He slung his pack over his shoulder and held Sachi tight as Sasuke looked back at him impatiently and he realized he'd been staring too long. He hurried over to the front door and followed the other boy into the house, surprised by how...normal it all looked. It was all obviously expensive items, but nothing extravagant. It was tasteful, and Naruto decided maybe it wasn't so bad.

Sasuke grabbed his wrist to get his attention. Glaring daggers at him, he hissed into the blond's ear. "Watch what you say to my brother, or he might get ideas." He promptly let him go and walked away with a silent command for Naruto to follow him.

"Hey, wait!" Naruto chased after him. "What's that supposed to mean...ah!" He skidded to a halt just in time to stop him from colliding with the body in his path. He blinked and looked up at a man who, if not obviously a few years older, could have passed for Sasuke's twin.

"Whoa." He gaped for a moment, before remembering his manners and quickly stepping back, smiling apologetically.

"Sorry, sorry. You must be Sasuke's brother. I'm Uzumaki Naruto, Sasuke's partner. I'll be here for the weekend, hope that's alright with you." Like any time he was nervous, his right hand came up to rest behind his head.

"_Lab _partner, dobe. _Lab _partner." Sasuke glared at him. "He's here to work on the baby project, Aniki."

Itachi's eyes flicked between them, watching curiously, and keeping his amusement to himself. Lab partner indeed. He nodded politely to the blond. "Uchiha Itachi. It's a pleasure to meet you, Naruto. Dinner is ready, if you'll join us."

Naruto's eyes lit up at the mention of food. "Yeah!"

He eagerly sat himself at the dining room table, after Sasuke had shown him to the dining room, and curiously eyed the three place settings. "Ne, Sasuke, your parents work really late or something?"

Sasuke had instantly gone tense as a rock. Without looking at him, he told him in a hard voice. "My parents are dead."

"Oh. Sorry." Naruto winced, feeling like a heel. He hadn't meant to bring up something that was an obvious sore spot, and started wondering how he could break the sudden gloom that seemed to hang over them. the meal was quickly served, and eaten in awkward silence.

Until, that is, Sasuke excused himself to the bathroom and returned to find his brother studiously eating and refusing to look at him, Naruto innocently feeding Sachi from her bottle of wet-newspaper food, and a foot long rubber snake coiled up and floating on the top of his miso soup. His eye twitched as he heard his brother snort into his glass.

Calmly, he sat down, picked up the snake, flicked some of the soup off and then pulled it back and shot it straight into Naruto's forehead. Naruto, luckily, had anticipated something like that, and flung his arm up to shield himself, laughing loudly. Sasuke rolled his eyes and pushed his soup away, reaching for his rice instead. Itachi snickered, quietly.

* * *

Dinner finished uneventfully. Much to Sasuke's disappointment, Sachi did not hear his telepathically sent wish for her to vomit on the blond fool. He sighed as he glanced down at her, now resting in the crook of his arm where the dobe had deposited her, and wondered for what had to be the millionth time he'd gotten himself into this, and where he would hide his brother's body after this weekend was over. 

Damned Itachi. Sasuke had wanted so badly to hit him when he's suggested (oh so innocently) that there was no need to set up the guest room when Sasuke's room was so large. They would simply set up another futon for Naruto, and he could sleep in there. That way they could both be there if Sachi woke up. Wasn't that a good idea?

He read over the assignments again, and went back to work in his binder. They'd retreated to the living room to actually try to work, and Sasuke was determined to actually get something accomplished. Naruto, being Naruto, had made several attempts at conversation, for no reason that Sasuke could see other than that he either hated noise, loved the sound of his own voice, or both. Sasuke, being Sasuke, had ignored him and told him to shut up. He'd played good host long enough to get them each a soda, and that was about his limit.

about two hours into the silent studying, because Naruto had given up by that point, the blond had asked where the bathroom was and excused himself. Sasuke began a mental countdown, and smirked evilly when he reached thirty three and heard a shriek ring through the house. Score one for him, then.

Naruto came storming back into the living room, looking positively livid. "You prick, what did you do to me?"

Sasuke gave what he hoped was his best innocent face. "Do to you?"

"You did something to me! I'm pissing _blue_!"

Sasuke actually had to work at not laughing. "Are you now? Sounds serious, you should see your doctor."

Naruto growled at him and threw himself back into his seat, eyes going impossibly wide at the horrendous noise that came out from under the couch cushion. He groped under the seat until he came up with the whoopie cushion. "Fucking bastard."

Sasuke just plastered on a fake smile. "You started it, dobe."

* * *

Sasuke was, if nothing else, a creature of habit. So, as was his habit, he took his showers early in the evening so that he could let his hair dry on it's own. And damned if he cared that he was leaving his guest by himself. He'd given Naruto the remote for the TV and left strict instructions for him to touch nothing else. 

He locked the bathroom door, stripped and turned on the water as he got into the stall. He closed his eyes against the spray and let the warm water wash over him, thinking back over the day. It was odd having someone so damned energetic in the house. He and Itachi were both quiet, calm. Naruto was a babbling font of excitement and stupidity. He sighed and moved out of the direct spray, reaching for his shampoo.

And froze when he saw that his skin was not the colour it was supposed to be. Instead of the pale, almost white tone he'd always been, he was now a very interesting shade of green. Bright, forest green. He whipped around to look at the showerhead, which was spewing green water at him.

That god-damned little son-of-a..."Naruto!" He hollered. He was going to kill him. he was going to _kill _him.

He slammed the water valve to off, grabbed a towel and stomped, angry and dripping to the door. Which would not open. He wiped his hand on the towel to remove the water, muttering curses, and tried again.

It would not open. His hand kept moving in a turning motion, but the door knob did not follow suit. The little shit had greased the door knob. Sasuke saw red. He was naked, wet, _green_, and effectively stuck in his own bathroom. He started looking around for something to use as a weapon. It would be considered justifiable homicide, he was sure of it.

His eyes landed on the hair dryer. An easy way to prank somebody. His eyes narrowed and he picked it up. He almost never used it, but the dobe didn't know that. Sure enough, when he inspected it, he found the tampering. This would do. For a start.

He sat on the edge of the tub, waiting and stewing, for almost half an hour before the blond came to check on him.

"Oi bastard, ya alive in there? I need to pee blue again." He snickered.

"Open the door, Naruto."

"Ah ah, you didn't say the magic words." Naruto sing-songed.

"Now, and I might let you keep your intestines."

"Nope, those weren't the magic words."

"Naruto." Sasuke growled.

"Yeesss?"

"Open. The fucking. Door."

Slowly, he heard the click, and the door opened just enough for one blue eye to peer in. Naruto guffawed at the sight.

"Kami, you look like the fucking Hulk. You should see your doctor about that."

Sasuke, quick as lightning, yanked the door all the way open, aimed the hairdryer at the other boy and blasted him with super-fine rainbow glitter. Naruto squawked and tried to block it with his hands, but it did little good. He quickly had almost the entire front of his body covered in glitter. Ignoring that it'd been him to put the glitter in the hairdryer to begin with, he growled and stomped into the room, determined to give the green Uchiha a piece of his mind.

It took them both by surprise when his foot hit a small puddle of water that Sasuke had dripped onto the floor and he went flying forward, knocking them both to the ground in a tangle of limbs.

Sasuke's brain skidded to a halt. He was on the floor, naked except for his towel, and Naruto was sprawled out on top of him, chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis, and blushing prettily as he stared back down at him with stunned blue eyes. For just that moment, he was struck with the most insane urge to keep the fool right there and kiss him senseless.

As soon as it registered exactly what he'd just thought, he panicked, kicking the other body away from himself and scrambling upright, a firm grip on his towel. He had not just been attracted to Naruto. He had not.

Someone cleared their throat, and they both whipped around to see Itachi watching them from the doorway. Sasuke blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.

"It's not what it looks like."

Itachi raised a brow at him. "You are currently green, Naruto's shirt and hands are green, and you are both covered in glitter and breathing rather harshly. Pray tell, what on earth an I supposed to think this looks like?"

They looked at each other, then away again just a quickly. Good question, thought Sasuke. He mumbled a reply and pushed past them both to his bedroom, firmly shutting the door behind him.

Itachi looked a Naruto for a long moment before he walked away. Naruto watched him go, wondering why he didn't feel relieved.

Because for one moment there, he'd been sure that Sasuke was going to kiss him.

* * *

_Sasuke Day 6: The dobe clearly thinks he's a better parent than I am. Maybe he's right, but I'll be damned if I'll admit it. Besides, it's like any skill, and you have to do is practice. Though I'll tell you right now, he can be the one to get up with her when she cries, dammit.

* * *

_


	8. Tap Turns on the Water

_And we're back again for more. Here's hoping most of my readers haven't deserted me by now, but I swear, I'm trying here. I was so determined to get a new chapter out that after I got home today I sat down and finally finished this one up. So, I'm sorry for the wait, but here is, finally, chapter 8. No, we're still not into anything seriously SasuNaru-ish yet, but it's getting there. I hate rushing it, because as fun as it is to think up nice PWP stories, I actually do have a plot for this that I want to stick to. It :will: get to the yaoiness, I promise, ok? Just be patient, lol. Oh, and I actually did really try on this little "fight" scene, lol. _

_ I love all my reveiwers, it's so encouraging to read all the kind words you guys leave for me. Thanks alot, and I hope this is up to par, because it's almost one in the morning and I am so wiped right now, lol._

* * *

**Chapter 8: Tap Turns on the Water**

* * *

_Tap turns on the water, see the waters flow  
A corn makes a forest, watch the forest grow  
Everything's behind you, everything's become  
Come and ride a river, come and find the sun_

* * *

_Sasuke Day 7: I fail to see how this is supposed to further our projects. Sachi's care is going just fine and I need no interference from anyone else. This whole "parenting dynamic" thing is bullshit. Naruto is a buffoon who serves as more hindrance than anything else. I can do this just fine on my own, and I will._

* * *

  
Naruto made very certain that when he went to take his shower, that the bathroom door was firmly locked. His change of clothes was present and already checked for tampering.

He had to let the water run a good ten minutes before the greenish tint from the night before was gone, and he snickered the entire time. It was really quite amazing what you could do with some powdered paint and a little imagination, and he knew it would take the other boy most of the weekend to wash the colour from his skin. Though he was still pissed about that dye pill Sasuke had slipped him. He'd finally figured it out when he'd found the little bottle of "prank pills" sitting out in the open on Sasuke's dressing table.

Of course, the rest of the night had passed rather tensely, now that their little war had begun. Naruto had woken up at about three in the morning when Sachi started crying to find that his hands, arms and face were all glowing a bright, eerie green. He had freaked out for a few minutes, rushing to the bathroom to repeatedly wash his hands and scrub at his cheeks when he'd spotted the slim, broken plastic tubes in the waste bin and it had dawned on him. The bastard had pour the stuff out of the glow-sticks onto him.

So Naruto had taken the shaving cream from beneath the sink and a tissue and snuck back into the bedroom and over to the sleeping Uchiha. He quietly filled Sasuke's hand with the shaving cream, then gently tickled his nose with the corner of the tissue. It hadn't taken long before Sasuke tried to swat away the sensation and ended up with a face full of foam. Naruto had, of course, been peacefully feigning sleep on his futon across the room, trying his hardest not to snicker at the glare he could feel on his back.

Deeming it safe to shower, he stripped quickly and stepped under the warm spray. He laughed, loudly, when he reached for the bottle of shampoo and found himself with a handful of nectarine and pink coral flower volumizing Herbal Essences shampoo to wash his hair with. He wondered, briefly, what Sakura would have to say about that, and snorted to himself.

He had just turned to rinse the suds from his hair when the lights cut out and the room went pitch black. His eyes shot open, and were promptly flooded with shampoo, which made him squawk in pain and try to rub it out. He glared through the darkness to where he was pretty sure the door was.

"Dammit, you asshole! Turn the lights back on!"

The lights flickered on for a split second and then blinked out again.

"Fuck you, Sasuke! Turn them on and leave them on!"

He was sure he could hear snickering as the lights came on again, and began to flicker steadily in rapid on-off bursts. Naruto cursed and called obscenities to the door as he finally rinsed off the soap and slammed the water off. He grabbed a towel, wrapped it around his waist and stomped as loudly as he could to go open the door.

"You ass, leave the fucking lights alone!" Was what he meant to say to the smirking, still bright green Uchiha standing at the light switch panel just beside the doorway.

What he got out was "You ass!" before he walked straight into an invisible barrier that knocked him flat onto his butt.

"Geez, Dobe, watch where you're going." Sasuke's smirked widened.

Naruto gave him his best glare, trying to see what he'd hit. The light flashed off something across the door when he turned his head just so, and he realized he'd been saran wrapped into the room.

"Oh, you are such a bastard."

"At least I'm not the one flashing everybody." Sasuke retorted.

Naruto's eyes shot down to his towel, which, while still wrapped around his waist, had split open enough that he was about half an inch of terrycloth away from indecent exposure. He yelped and grabbed for the cloth as he scrambled to his feet, going red as a tomato.

"I was not flashing you! There was nothing showing, you…you pervert!" he fumed, still blushing brightly.

"How am I a pervert if you're the one walking around naked?"

Naruto growled and flipped Sasuke off, ripped down the saran wrap and stomped back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Sasuke stared at the door and very firmly told himself that having actually looked when the towel fell open didn't mean a damned thing. He liked guys, he liked looking at guys. Naruto was dumb as a sack of hammers and wasn't his type at all. He just had nice legs, and that was all there was to it. He walked away from the bathroom, plotting what to do to the dobe next.

* * *

Sasuke gave his brother the most withering glare he could muster, which did nothing to faze Itachi's smug aura when he'd come to check on their so called guest.

Of course, it was hard to do a proper glare when you were in the middle of changing a diaper on you plastic adopted offspring.

"Does it pee on you too, little brother?" Itachi asked with an almost imperceptible grin.

"Fuck you." Sasuke growled.

"I thought it was supposed to be 'fuck him'." The elder Uchiha smirked and neatly side-stepped the wet diaper his brother threw at him in response.

Sasuke seethed. "As if I would want anything to do with that idiot."

Itachi shrugged and left the room, though Sasuke was sure he heard a muttered comment about him needing to get laid. He rolled his eyes and ignored it, furiously swaddling Sachi into a new diaper and snapping up her sleeper. He eyed her as she lay there innocently on his bed.

"This is all your fault." He told the doll.

Sachi had nothing to say, and he had to shake his head. "Kami, look at me. He's only been here one night and he's already driven me to talking to a doll." He sighed and dropped his head onto the bedspread, thankful the current bane of his existence was still in the bathroom.

Or so he thought until something very wet and very cold hit the top of his head. He shot up off the bed and looked up to see one grinning blond head wave aim a water pistol at him and shoot him straight in the face this time.

He spluttered and held up his hand to block the attack, but Naruto kept coming at him, never aiming at the same place twice.

"Dobe!" Sasuke roared, launching himself over the doll, over the bed and straight at the other boy. He tackled the blond to the floor, but Naruto aimed the water so that it shot straight up into his nose, making him inhale it and start coughing violently. He squirmed free and ran, with one very irate Uchiha on his heels.

Naruto seemed to have an uncanny knowledge of the house's layout, which Sasuke didn't think about until it was too late. He chased Naruto into the hall and down the stairs. As soon as Naruto hit the ground floor, sparks flew. Literally. Tiny explosions all along the banister rail startled Sasuke into slipping and falling down the last six steps, landing in a tangled pile of limbs on the floor.

Naruto grinned down at him and held up a long string of twine which still had the remnants of his bang-snaps tied on. Sasuke growled and lunged at him, but the other boy just laughed and danced away, squirting him with the water pistol again.

Sasuke gave chase, past a curious Itachi who had come to see what the noise was about, and straight into the kitchen. Naruto was waiting for him, however, bottle of ketchup in hand.

"Dobe." Sasuke growled warningly. "Don't you fucking dare."

Naruto widened his eyes innocently and appeared to really consider it for a moment. Sasuke edged closed, and Naruto grinned evilly at him.

"Payback's a bitch, bastard." And he squirted a thick, bright red stream of tomato straight onto the middle of his shirt.

Sasuke's eye started to twitch. He turned and walked straight to the fridge, retrieving the mustard. His first shot missed the idiot, but the second one splattered across his back. Naruto cursed him and tried to get him back with the ketchup, which he ducked behind the counter to avoid.

They stood there with the kitchen island separating them, armed with their various condiments and ready to go to war. Naruto tried to sneak around to get him again, but Sasuke was waiting and got the mustard to shoot directly into the other boy's mouth.

Naruto promptly gagged on it, running for the nearest place he could spit it out into. Sasuke took full advantage, grabbing the pancake syrup from the still open fridge. He tackled the blond to the floor and pinned his struggling form as best he could as he flipped open the bottle and poured out a very generous amount.

His victim squawked and bucked underneath him to get free, lunging up into his as soon as his arms were free. Naruto dove for the fridge and got the jar of chocolate sauce open just in time for Sasuke to tackle him again. He shoved his hand into the jar and smeared the chocolate goo all over the raven's surprised face. He stuck his tongue out at the other boy and squirmed free again, looking for his next weapon.

Sasuke turned to the counter and grabbed a large tin, which was all the time Naruto had to think on it before he got a face full of flour. He coughed on the dust and tried to go after Sasuke, but Sasuke was ready with more flour. Naruto dodged as best he could, diving for the tin to get his own handful. Sasuke blocked it as best as he could, but he still took the brunt of the powdery attack. He ended up inhaling quite a bit, which left him doubled over coughing.

Naruto stole the flour tin away, grinned down at his bleary eyed enemy and emptied the full contents over Sasuke's head.

A green hand shot out and grabbed him by the shirt, slamming him up against the counter beside the fridge. Sasuke pinned him there, reaching without looking into the (still open, Itachi was going to have a fit) fridge and pulling out the ever-ready pitcher of ice water. Eyes never breaking contact with Naruto's, he casually slipped two fingers into the blonde's waist band, pulled the cloth forward and emptied the pitchers contents, ice and all, down the front of his pants.

Naruto's cold-induced scream could be heard through the whole neighbourhood.

"Y-you fucking bastard!"

Sasuke just smirked at him, green skin, chocolate sauce and all. "I win this one, dobe. Say it."

"Like hell you have! It's not over until the fat lady sings, bastard!"

Sasuke moved the empty pitched towards the ice dispenser in the fridge, and Naruto's eyes opened wide.

"Shit! Alright! Alright, Uchiha, you win!"

Sasuke slowly released him and stepped away, eyeing the mess that was himself with a disgusted curl of his lip. Naruto eyed him, and couldn't help the giggle that escaped. Sasuke glared at him, and he felt more laughter bubble up. He slapped a hand over his mouth to stifle it, but it got out into the open anyways and it wasn't long before he had sunk to the floor and was laughing hard enough to bring tears to his eyes.

Sasuke just stared at him incredulously, before the oddest thing that Naruto had ever seen happened. Sasuke grinned, then actually laughed with him. It was barely more than a chuckle, but it counted.

Sasuke just shook his head as he surveyed the disaster they'd made out of his kitchen. "You are such a fucking dobe." He said, but it sounded much more amused than angry.

Naruto just laughed again. "And you're a total bastard. But you're alright, maybe."

Sasuke looked at him oddly, then just grinned again. "Yeah. You too, dumbass."

Naruto grinned at him. "Truce?"

He nodded and offered his hand to help the fool get up. "Truce. At least until we get this clean, because aniki will kill us if he sees this."

Itachi chuckled softly to himself as he moved away from his little hiding place where he had been spying from.

This weekend kept getting better and better.

* * *

_Naruto Day 7: Well, I'm still alive, so that's something. It has been kind of fun though, trying to kill each other. Just don't tell him I said that. I've learned more about his family, though, and I think there are maybe a few things we have in common, at least. I mean, sure Sasuke's a total ass, but he's got a few good points, if you sort of squint at them._

* * *


	9. Dizzy

_Hey, hey lookit! Two whole chapters within one week! -dies of shock- XD_

_Consider it an appology, but don't be expecting it too often, lol. This one was fun to write, even though Itachi is seriously OOC, heh. Mostly for comedy purposes, but ya know. I'm out for the whole weekend babysitting, so I figured I'd post it now for you guys to enjoy. And, once again, posting at one in the morning, so forgive any mistakes that slipped by. _

_As usual, a big thank you and much love to my reviewers, you guys rock!_

**

* * *

Chapter 9: Dizzy**_

* * *

_

We think  
We're in control ('till we really don't)  
We always know ('till we really don't)  
Until we don't  
Funny how the world can spin so fast (spins around)  
And we don't crash (crashin' down)  
We just get dizzy

_

* * *

_

_Naruto Day 8: I have to tell you, a green Uchiha Sasuke is possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen, even if he did try to kill me for it. The weekend is over now, and I obviously made it through. It's odd how much you can learn about a person in just one weekend. I think maybe, and this is a huge maybe mind you, he might be an alright guy. Anal retentive, anti-social, sadistic, neat-freak bastard, but, I don't know. _

_And you were, forgive me because I have to make a face to write this, right. Dealing with Sachi with both of us present was a lot different. Taking turns getting up with her at night, changing and feeding and trading off with one another. It was kind of nice have back up for that. Tsunade refused to help anymore after she learned that Sachi actually dirties her diapers, and Sakura's got her own school work._

_PS: What did you do to Iruka-sensei? He's was grumbling about you all Friday, it was weird.

* * *

_

It was six thirty in the morning on a Sunday, and Sasuke really, really didn't want to be awake to see it.

Sachi demanded otherwise, however.

She had "woken up" six time through the night already, crying fit to wake the dead. She had her own little bed, laying not far from Naruto, but in easy reach for either boy. They'd decided on putting her there after the second time she woke, so that they could take turns and neither had to move far.

It was Naruto's turn to take her, and Sasuke waited impatiently to hear the other boy start with his baby-talk to soothe her. After a full five minutes of nothing and Sachi was still squalling, he groaned in frustration. He really wanted to go back to sleep, dammit.

He turned his head to give the baka shit for not taking his turn and found that his temporary roommate was missing. Sasuke rolled his eyes in frustration and reached for the baby doll. The floor felt ridiculously cold on his feet, and he scrambled back into his bed, Sachi held tight to his chest.

A quick check at her diaper showed she was fine, so he dug into the much-hated teddy bear pack and retrieved her bottle full of water. As soon as it touched her lips, she stopped wailing. He breathed a sigh of relief and laid back down, Sachi resting in his arms beside him and the blankets wrapped snugly around both bodies.

He dozed, listening to the rhythmic, mechanical pull on the bottle until he heard the door to his room creak open. One eye cracked open and immediately glared at the blond head peeking through at him.

"Where the hell were you? It was your turn this time."

Naruto at least had the grace to look sheepish. "Sorry. I couldn't get back to sleep after the last time she woke up, so I got up."

Sasuke squinted at his alarm clock, which now read seven am, and looked back at the other boy like he was a few cards short a deck.

"How long have you been up?"

"I dunno…five thirty-ish?"

Sasuke looked vaguely disgusted. "That's just gross."

Naruto laughed. "Yeah, I know, I don't like it either. But I just couldn't sleep, so I didn't see a point in laying there. I, uh, made breakfast, if you're getting up."

Sasuke eyed the baby in his arms and sighed, sitting up as if it required a huge effort to move his blankets. "Yeah, I may as well."

He went to put on his slippers and paused to stare down at the small, fluffy white faces that greeted him at the foot of his bed. He looked over to Naruto, who was oh so innocently gathering Sachi's breakfast supplies, and saw that there was a pair of dark blue flip-flop slippers with an Uchiha crest on the blonde's feet.

"I hate you." Sasuke growled, slipping his feet into the bunny slippers because it was too damned cold to not be wearing something on his feet, and he was way too groggy to bother beating the crap out of the dobe to get his own slippers back. At least his housecoat was still there, and still his own. He ignored Naruto's snickering, gathered up the baby and made his way downstairs with as much dignity as he could muster.

He was quite surprised when he saw his brother sitting at the dining room table, waiting for them and nursing a cup of coffee. Itachi was even less of a morning person than Sasuke was, and was never up early unless he absolutely had to be. He looked disturbingly perky this morning, though.

Itachi, in turn, eyed Sasuke's new bunny slippers and smirked at his little brother, earning himself a scowl in return.

"Not one word, aniki." Sasuke growled at him.

Itachi just sniggered to himself, opened up the morning paper and held it up to read it, effectively ignoring them both.

Naruto had obviously not been expecting his brother to join them, either, and eyed the coffee cup on the table. "Oh, um, morning Itachi. I didn't know you were up, and I only made enough for me and the bast – er, Sasuke. I can make more real quick, though."

Itachi waved his hand in a dismissive gesture over the edge of the paper. "Don't bother, I don't eat breakfast. I'm fine with the coffee you made." To demonstrate his point, he took his mug and took a long drink, then went right back to reading his paper, humming a happy little tune and tapping his foot in time.

Sasuke blinked at his brother a few times and wondered if lack of sleep could cause hallucinations.

Naruto laughed nervously. "Heh, yeah, alright then. Sasuke, did you want some coffee…" Naruto stared at the coffee pot, which was empty save for a few drops drying at the bottom of the glass. He turned wide eyes back to Itachi's coffee cup.

"Itachi, did you drink _all_ the coffee?"

Itachi giggled and shrugged. "Maaaybe. But it's not like you can't make a new pot in about two minutes, anyways, right?"

"Er, right." Naruto nervously glanced over at Sasuke, who was staring as though he was sure at least one Uchiha in the house had lost his mind, and he wasn't sure which one it was. "So, Sasuke, you ready to eat? I made pancakes. Or I can whip up some eggs or something if you like."

Sasuke looked over at him and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What are you being so nice for all of a sudden?"

Naruto sputtered indignantly. "What, I can't be nice? I've been staying here all weekend, least I can do is cook a meal for you, right?"

Sasuke stomped over to him, bunny ears bouncing wildly on his feet. "What did you do?" He demanded.

"Nothing!" Naruto denied, even as his eyes slid to look at Itachi over the other boy's shoulder. Sasuke turned to look, and frowned at his brother, who looked like he was dancing in his chair to the tune he was still whistling.

"What did you do to aniki?" Sasuke growled.

"Nothing! I swear, I didn't know he was going to come down this early. It's his own fault!"

Sasuke glared and cornered Naruto against the counter. "What did you do?" He repeated. "And don't make me ask again, because I am running on about four hours of sleep and haven't eaten yet, and when my blood-sugar gets low, I get really irritable and wouldn't be against hanging you from a tree and using you for a piñata."

Naruto gulped, because Sasuke looked perfectly serious, and really pissed off. He caved, and mumbled his reply, refusing to look at the other boy.

"What was that?"

The blond sighed. "I said, the coffee was meant for you. I put crystallized caffeine in it. Makes espresso look like water."

Sasuke's eyes widened in horror as he looked over at Itachi. "And he drank it all."

Naruto nodded, looking sheepish. "It'll be hours before he comes down off of that much caffeine."

* * *

Naruto groaned in pain and flopped back on the couch cushions.

"My hands are cramping…your turn, bastard."

Sasuke rolls his eyes from his over-stuffed chair at the other end of the couch, where he was slowly rocking Sachi and feeding her lunch.

"It's only been an hour since I had to take a turn last. Don't tell me your wussing out now?"

Naruto glared. 'No, I'm not wussing out. I can't use my hands anymore, and that's all there is to it. Get your ass over here."

Itachi impatiently looked over at them both. "I don't care who's turn it is, somebody better get a move on, here."

Sasuke sighed, resigned, handed over the baby and winnie the pooh spoon to Naruto and took the now vacant spot on the pillow beside his brother on the floor, picking up the xbox controller and started flipping through his choice of race cars.

Stupid friggen Naruto. Itachi hyped up on enough caffeine to theoretically keep him awake for the next three days straight was damned scary. Having to keep Itachi occupied so that he stayed relatively calm and didn't run at the mouth, or god forbid start singing and trying to get them to dance again, was even worse.

Since it was now roughly one in the after noon, it meant that they'd been sitting in the den for at least six hours, playing Burnout 2 with Itachi, who showed no signs of coming off his caffeine high any time soon.

It took Itachi all of the next fifteen minutes to be bored with them, and he tossed his controller to the floor with a disgusted grumble "You guys suck, you're not even trying to win anymore. I'm going to go find something else to do."

He got up and stomped off to find something more entertaining, heading for his computer in his office. Sasuke watched him until he was out of sight, and then turned his amused black eyes to the blond.

"Hey, dobe, you got any more of that crystallized caffeine?"

Naruto blinked at him. "Um, yeah…why?"

Sasuke smirked. "Because it's annoying, but that was funny as hell."

Naruto just stared at him blankly a moment, then let a huge grin stretch across his face. "Well, holy shit. You _do_ have a sense of humour. Maybe you're human, after all."

"Pfft. You're just jealous because I'm better at video games than you."

Blue eye narrowed at the blatant challenge. "In your dreams, maybe."

"Yeah-huh. I'm right, and you know it, loser."

"Alright, you're on. But don't come crying when I kick you ass, bastard."

"My thoughts exactly."

Naruto growled, took the moment needed to press the "nap" button on Sachi's back (it was about time for her nap, anyways), and settle her against the couch cushion before he took his seat on the floor and armed himself with the other controller.

"Prepare to eat my dust, asshole." He grinned.

* * *

"I still say you cheated." Naruto grumbled through the couch cushion that he was holding on to. He had won four races, but compared to the sixteen wins that Sasuke racked up, he was feeling rather sour towards the game now. Damned thing was rigged, anyways.

Sasuke prodded the other boy with his foot and glared, signalling for him to be quiet. He liked this movie, dammit.

"And I can't believe you're making me watch this. I know winner got to pick, but I didn't think you even owned these kind of movies at your age."

"Dobe." Sasuke growled.

"Come on! Finding Nemo? What are you, six?"

"Shut up, it's a good movie."

"That's not the point."

"So what is your point, then?"

"It's a kid's movie, for pete's sake!"

"Yeah…so? I'm sure Sachi enjoy it."

Naruto muttered in frustration and went back to hugging his pillow. Alright, so it was a good movie, and he was only bitching because he had wanted to pick. Well, that and it was fun to annoy the Uchiha.

"If you shut up, I'll make some popcorn." Sasuke offered after a few moments of silence.

Naruto visibly perked up.

"Provided that you don't make a mess, don't throw it, and don't chew it at obnoxiously loud levels to try to annoy me." Sasuke eyed him pointedly, and Naruto grinned sheepishly, wondering if he'd been that transparent.

"Yeah, alright, that sounds good."

Sasuke got up and went to the kitchen, quickly followed by the sounds of the microwave whirling and the beginning tattoo of popcorn cooking. In less than five minutes he was back with a large red plastic bowl filled to the brim with buttery white fluff, which Naruto wasted no time delving into.

"I should drive you home when this is over."

Naruto popped another piece of popcorn into his mouth and leaned his head against the back of the couch, grunting an affirmative "uh huh." His eyes were starting to feel heavy, and thoughts of going home brought thoughts of getting to sleep in his own bed again. Peaceful, lovely sleep.

Sasuke finally noticed that the sound of crunching popcorn was gone, and glanced over to see Naruto's eyes closed, mouth hanging slightly open and head flopped forward against the pillow he'd claimed. He experimentally nudged the blond with his foot. Yup, he was asleep. What a dobe.

Sasuke just shook his head. Naruto was a pain in the ass, a moron and his total and complete opposite in just about everyway possible. He was rude, obnoxious, unpredictable and loud. It made for an interesting sort of friendship, which was the only way he could describe this odd little forced relationship they had.

And with Sachi included, it made for the oddest, most dysfunctional "family" he'd ever seen. But maybe that wasn't so bad.

* * *

_Sasuke Day 8: Alright, so maybe having the dobe around to help with Sachi was kind of a good thing. It made the nights a bit easier, even if I did still wake up every time she cried. He's not so bad…I guess. But that doesn't mean your little scheme is going to work, so you can stop looking so smug._

_Also, it's worthy to note that giving Itachi too much caffeine is a very, very bad thing.

* * *

_


	10. One Friend

_Chapter 10, finally! I think this may be the longest chapter yet, so yay for me. It's alot of fun to write things developing between our favorite boys, but I also decided that I needed more interaction with other characters since I've kept things rather isolated so far. And if anybody's wondering, Naruto's sleep habits were based heavily on my own, lol, so everything there is entirely possible, because I've done it. And yes, I included a quote from Finding Nemo. My favorite line._

_Going to be away for most of the next week, so I thought I'd be nice and post it now, rather than after I got back next friday. I seem to have a habit of writing late at night, and I type badly when I'm tired, lol, so forgive any mistakes that slipped by, I'll correct them later._

_And to all my reviewers, as usual, I love you guys, you keep me going. We're approaching 400 now, which makes me giddy. So a big thank you to everybody that leaves their lovely comments for me, I read every last one of them :)_

_-Bliz_

**

* * *

Chapter 10: One Friend**

_

* * *

_

Someone who understands me  
And knows me inside out  
Helps keep me together  
And believes without a doubt  
That I could move a mountain  
With someone to tell it to  
If I had only one friend left  
I'd want it to be you

_

* * *

_

_Sasuke Day 9: It's slightly disturbing how easily things fall into routine. Sachi has made herself comfortable in my life, whether I am comfortable with her being there or not. And the dobe has been doing the same damned thing. Between us we already developed routines for Sachi's care. Handing over items needed without needing to be asked, taking her to give the other a break, things like that. It's as if we're truly beginning to act like her parents, and it's all very disconerting._

_

* * *

_

Though few people believed him, Naruto was convinced that was either a gremlin living under his bed and trying to drive him nuts, or that he did more that just roll over in his sleep. He didn't think it went so far as actually sleepwalking, but things that were nearby his bed tended to "magically" move during the night.

If it got too hot during the night, he would find himself naked in the morning, his usual t-shirt and boxers neatly folded on the floor and the covered kicked clear off the foot of the bed. To date, he'd lost three watches overnight, putting them on his nightstand when he went to bed and then unable to find them later. He'd lost a lot of things that way, actually. Or he'd find something that had been missing stuffed into the corner when his toes would graze against it during the night.

His most common move, though, seemed to be a very bad habit of turning off his alarm clock. In his sleep.

Which was why he was currently at a full-out run down the sidewalk, weaving through other people on their way to work or school, trying to button his shirt and a piece of toast dangling from his mouth, muffling his curses.

"Excuse me!"

"Hey, move it, buddy!"

"Shit, sorry!"

He skidded around the corner and sent up a prayer of thanks as the school came into view and he could see other students still milling around. That meant he wasn't late yet, which meant he wouldn't get another detention. He veered around a little old woman whole glared at him, turned to wave and grin at her just to give her more of a reason to hate teenagers, and turned back in time to see the body in front of him, but not in time to stop from smacking into them.

His momentum knock them both down into a tangled heap of cursing limbs. Naruto sat up and gingerly rubbed at the bump he could feel forming on the side of his head where it had bounced off the pavement, groaning from the mix of pain and embarrassment. He smiled apologetically at his victim and froze when his gaze connected with a pair of furious, kohl-rimmed, pale green eyes.

Gaara sat beside him, looking decidedly worse for wear from their tumble. His clothes were dusty with dirt, his palms and forearms were scrapped raw in places from road-rash, and there was a small, ragged cut along his chin that was slowly dripping blood. He reached up and brushed his thumb over the gash, eyes narrowing dangerously at the blood.

Naruto gulped nervously. "Shit, I'm real sorry. Are you alright?"

Gaara slugged him.

* * *

So, in the end, he'd gotten detention anyways. Both he and Gaara had to stay after school and clean the detention room as their punishment for fighting, since one of the teachers happened to pass by at the precisely wrong moment. Naruto had protested, loudly, that it hadn't been a fight and it hadn't even happened on school grounds, so wasn't that out of their jurisdiction, anyways? But as usual, he'd been ignored and told that he had detention, regardless.

And he'd ended up late for first period, earning him a "look" from Iruka-sensei. That sort of look that clearly conveyed both annoyance and disappointment and laid a nice little guilt trip on you.

Iruka had obviously been about to lecture him as his mouth opened, but he was interrupted by the knock at the open classroom door and the deliveryman standing there holding a vase of beautiful red roses. All eyes turned to see what was going on, almost all the girls immediately looking dreamy and hopeful that it was for them.

"I'm looking for Umino Iruka. I was told this was his classroom?"

Iruka seemed to blanch a little. "That would be me."

"Then these are for you." The deliveryman plopped the vase onto Iruka's desk and held out his electronic sign sheet. "Sign here, please." Iruka had flushed lightly and quickly signed his name. The man thanked him and left, leaving the class to murmur excitedly and watch their sensei pick the card from the flowers, and turn a very interesting shade of tomato-red.

Naruto was the first one to speak up. "So…who are they from?"

"That is none of your business." Iruka snapped, crumpling the card in his hand.

* * *

"Oi! Naruto! Over here!"

Naruto quickly followed the sounds of the voice to a table at the other end of the cafeteria, where Kiba was waving his arms and grinning like an idiot. Weaving his way through the majority of the student body, the blonde pushed through and sat with a thump at the end of the table.

"Shit, man, what the hell happened to you?" Kiba's eyes were wide, and everyone else at the table was staring at him. Naruto grinned self-consciously and touched his fingers to the bruise marring the lower left side of his face. He'd checked it out earlier in the boy's room, and knew it looked pretty bad.

"That Gaara guy has a mean left hook."

Sakura choose the moment of shocked silence to sit down across from her best friend, and promptly jumped right back up in surprise when she got a good look at his face.

"Naruto, what happened to you? You and Sasuke-kun didn't _actually_ try to kill each other over the weekend, did you?" She looked so distressed and he immediately sought to comfort her.

"What? No, Sakura, Sasuke-teme didn't do this, we got along fine. It was Gaara, and it was kinda my own fault."

She looked more than sceptical. "How is it your fault that Gaara beat the hell out of you?"

"Well, no, he only hit me once. And I probably deserved it, since I did a number on him when I knocked him down. I was running to school and I didn't see him in time to stop. He was pretty beat up looking too, you know."

"He punched you because you knocked him down by accident? What kind of Neanderthal attitude is that? That's not fair at all, how dare he! Where is that guy, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!"

Sakura had gone from friendly concern to righteous defender in sixty seconds flat, and Naruto had to roll his eyes.

"Sakura, sit down, please. I don't need you to fight my battles for me, okay? It's appreciated, but humiliating, really. It was an eye for an eye, all that bullshit, no big deal."

Sakura glowered, but gave in and sat down to her lunch, and there was a collective sigh of relief from the table. The girl's temper was a force to be reckoned with, and none of them wanted to deal with it.

"You're so troublesome, Naruto." Grumbled Shikamaru from the other end of the table. Ino sat beside him, feeding their own plastic baby doll, and without even looking up reached over and bopped him on the head.

"Hey! What was that for, woman?" Shikamaru demanded.

Ino rolled her eyes at him and spooned out more fake baby food. "Because you have no room to talk. You're pretty troublesome, too, lazy-ass."

Shikamaru took no particular offence to being called lazy. He _was_ lazy, he knew it, and he was damned proud of it. But he was _not _troublesome, and said so.

Ino just scoffed and shoved his shoulder. "Yes, you are. But you're cute, so I put up with you." She giggled at his miffed look.

He grumbled and turned to Kiba. "You want to trade girlfriends? At least yours is quiet."

Hinata blushed fiercely beside Kiba and ducked her head to try and hide her face, bringing her hands up to push her fingers together, a classic sign that she was flustered.

Kiba promptly made a face and wrapped his arm around Hinata's waist, which made her blush even more. "Not on your life, buddy." He grinned wolfishly.

The others at the table snickered at them, and things settled back into their usual banter. Naruto picked at his spaghetti, wished it was ramen, and then ate it anyways. Food was food.

"So, if you didn't try to kill each other, what did you and Sasuke-kun do all weekend, then? What was he like?" Sakura prodded.

Naruto just shrugged. "Nothing much. We worked on the project, looked after Sachi, played burnout2 with Itachi."

Sakura blinked at him. "Who's Itachi?"

"Oh, that's his brother. I swear though, they could be twins. It's freaky."

"Oh, okay. What else, then? You were there for the whole weekend, you much be able to tell me something!" She gave him her best puppy eyes.

Naruto had his attention on something just past her shoulder and grinned mischievously at her. "I'll do you one better. Hey, oi, Sasuke-teme!"

Sakura's eyes widened to comical proportions and she froze, caught between dread and hope as she glanced over her shoulder. Her crush was indeed right there, looking right at them, and even walking in their direction.

Sasuke stopped right beside her, and she was sure he must have been able to hear her heart pounding against her ribs as she tried not to stare at him.

"What do you want, dobe?" He glared.

Naruto just grinned from ear to ear. "Sit with us!"

"Che. And why should I do that?"

"Because you could stand to work on your people skills."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "I like to eat alone."

"I'll take Sachi for you."

Damn. Naruto had him there, and they both knew it. It was a real pain to try and eat and feed her at the same time, and Sasuke had been paranoid about feeding her since his first night alone with her. She had since then developed a penchant for spitting up, but only on him for some reason. He eyed the other people at the table, who were all obviously waiting to see what happened, rolled his eyes and sighed in resignation.

"Move over." He ordered the blond, who grinned gleefully at his victory.

Sakura was sure she was blushing, she could feel the heat in her face, but she tried to smile prettily at Sasuke anyways. He was actually sitting with them. Sasuke was sitting with her! Sasuke never sat with anybody! She had to sit on her hands to keep from jumping up and hugging Naruto.

Naruto took the baby from the other boy and held out his hand for the jar of food and spoon. Sasuke handed them over, trying to ignore the way the other people at the table looked at him like he'd grown a second head. Or in some cases, like he was a wet dream come true. All the scrutiny made him want to squirm in his seat, and he started wondering why he'd sat down at all. This was so not worth avoiding regurgitated babyfood.

The tension flowing off of Sasuke was palpable, and nobody else seemed able to break the awkward silence. Sakura opened her mouth a few times to try and say something charming and witty, but nothing would come out.

Naruto looked around him, rolled his eyes at his friends, and leaned over in his chair, looking up at Sasuke and pursing his lips like a fish. "Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills."

Sasuke's eye twitched as he looked down at those laughing blue eyes, giving his best glare.

"When life gets you down, you know what you've gotta do?"

"Naruto…" He growled in warning.

"Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."

Sasuke scoffed in disgust and looked away lest he be caught, but Naruto saw it anyways.

"Ha! I saw that, you were trying not to smile!"

"I don't smile, dobe."

"Psh, sure you don't. I believe you. Don't smile then. I dare you not to smile."

Sasuke felt his lips twitch as he fought against it. Naruto looked like such a damned fool, but it was almost kind of cute.

"Ha, see! You can't smile. New rule. Bastards aren't allowed to smile. That includes you. No smiling. You hear me? Don't you dare smile."

His lips twitched again, but he felt like he was losing.

"Hey, what did I just tell you? No smiling. Not allowed. Don't smile, teme. Ah, don't smile. Don't smile." Naruto prodded his shoulder, smiling that shit-eating grin of his. And Sasuke couldn't help it.

He smiled.

"I hate you." He told the blond, and Naruto fell back into his chair laughing uproariously. The tension snapped like a thread, and suddenly everyone relaxed, and even smiled at him, like he'd been part of the group all along.

Sakura stared at both of them in wonder. Sasuke-kun had _smiled_. If she had thought he was good looking before, he looked absolutely amazing when he smiled. And while she was disappointed that it wasn't her he was smiling for, she still was glad that he and Naruto seemed to be almost friends. He seemed so isolated all the time, and Naruto was the only person she'd ever known that could break down whatever barriers a person had to let his own personal sunshine though.

* * *

Detention was really boring. Not that it was supposed to be exciting, but this was reaching a new low of boring. They had finished all the cleaning within the first twenty minutes, and had done it in total silence. The teacher had watched them for a bit, then stepped out with the warning not to try anything, because she was just in the next room over. And it was back to silence again. 

Naruto _hated_ silence. Even Sachi was being quiet, just laying there in the crook of his arm.

Even worse, his only options of people to talk to right now were Gaara, or himself. Personally, he thought he would get a better chance of getting a conversation from himself, but he didn't want to start talking to himself aloud with somebody else close enough to hear him.

So, since he still had half an hour to spend wasting away in here, he decided he at least had to try.

"Hey. Um, I'm sorry I got you into detention, too."

Green eyes briefly flickered in his direction.

"It was my fault, totally. I should have been watching where I was going, and if I had just gotten up in time I could have caught the bus instead or even gotten Tsunade to drive me, but I had to run the whole way and I couldn't stop in time. Um, how's that cut on your chin, anyways? I'm really sorry about that, too."

Gaara turned to look at him with a bored expression, showing off the neatly applied little square of gauze that was taped to his jaw. He harrumphed and turned back to the front of the class. Naruto sighed dejectedly and gave up.

"I'm sorry for punching you." Gaara muttered.

Naruto sat up in surprise and blinked owlishly at the other boy. Was he actually going to talk?

"Ah, hey, no biggie. So, um, how's your project with Hyuuga going? Better than me and Sasuke-teme, I bet. It's weird being partnered with another guy for this fake marriage thing, don't you think?"

Gaara just stared straight ahead and raised one shoulder in a half-shrug. "I don't care. It's just another assignment."

"Well, yeah, but it sure isn't very realistic like this. If I'm going to get married, it's not going to be to another guy, you know?"

"Why not?"

Naruto wrinkled his nose. "Because I want to marry a girl, duh."

"Hn."

"I mean, whatever people choose to do in their bedrooms is their own business, I don't care, but I don't swing that way."

Gaara snorted, sounding unconvinced.

"I don't!"

"Love is a rare commodity in this world, Uzumaki. Take it in whatever form it comes."

Naruto gave him an odd look, and the rest of the hour passed in brooding silence.

* * *

"Dammit, Sasuke, what the hell were you thinking with a stunt like that?"

Naruto paused at the bottom of the stairs leading away from the school, and peered around the corner curiously. It only took him a moment to spot Sasuke's familiar hair in the middle of the parking lot.

"Hey, all's fair in love and war, Kakashi. I told you to quit interfering, so now I'm going to play your game." Sasuke shrugged, and Kakashi growled at him.

"If I wasn't still technically your guardian, I'd wring your smug little neck."

Sasuke just smirked at him.

"Fine" Kakashi ground out. "But I'm going to win this time, brat." And with that he stomped off to his own vehicle.

Sasuke shook his head and turned to open his car door when he spotted the blond head watching him and narrowed his eyes.

"What do you want, dobe?"

Naruto scrambled back and laughed nervously at being caught eavesdropping. "Nothing, nothing. I was just walking home, see you later."

Sasuke frowned. "You're house is pretty far to be walking."

Naruto just shrugged. "I had detention, so I missed the bus. It's alright though, I walked here this morning, anyways."

Sasuke eyed him for a moment and sighed. "Fine. Do you want a ride home?"

Naruto blinked at him. "Really?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I don't care. I was here late for a student council meeting. I'm driving away as soon as I'm in the car, so if you want a ride, I suggest you get your ass into the passenger seat."

Naruto took the hint and sprinted for the car.

* * *

_Naruto day 9: Hey, get this, I actually got Sasuke to smile. Maybe he actually is human, neh? It's funny to watch him with Sachi, he seems to actually like her, but it's kind of like he's afraid of her. Like he thinks he'll drop her or something. And he doesn't like feeding her, I wonder why? Maybe she actually spit up on him once, I read in the manual that they can actually do that. Now that's something I would have loved to see.

* * *

_


	11. Strange Disease

_See, I told you if you were patient we'd get into some of the good stuff soon XD Finally some definite SasuNaru vibes, and it's only going to get better from this point. So stay tuned, chapter 12 will be out soon, because I've already got it all planned out in my head for this time, and it's going to be so much fun to write! _

_And guys, I gotta tell you, I was just floored when my last posting got me over 60 reviews, putting us over 450! That's insane, and I love you all for it. So a HUGE thank you to all my regular readers, a big hello and welcome to any new-comers, and I hope I continue to live up to your standards )_

_You guys rock!_

**

* * *

Chapter 11: A Strange Disease**

* * *

A little sexual frustration  
Combined with lack of motivation  
And a loss of concentration  
I've got a strange disease  
I can't concentrate on work  
My libido's gone berserk  
Now I'm sweating through my shirt  
I've got a strange disease

* * *

_Naruto day 10: Do we really have to do this for a whole month? It's only been ten days, and I'm already ready to lose it. Sure, Sachi's a good kid, for a doll, but even every day and every other night seems like an overload. I like kids plenty, and I baby-sit sometimes too, but I have a whole new respect for new parents. The sleepless nights, the diapers, the crying for every little thing. It'd be nice if she could talk and tell me what was wrong, what she needs, instead of me having to guess every time until I get it right. It gets really frustrating, and her lousy excuse for a "father" is almost as bad. So, my opinion on this assignment so far is that I hate you both. Jerks.

* * *

_

Sasuke was not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. Neither was Itachi, but even he wasn't as bad as his younger sibling. While Itachi would glare at anyone that came within ten feet of him until he'd gotten at least four cups of coffee worth of caffeine into his system, Sasuke would snarl like a grouchy bear, and would often refuse to get up in the first place. Many an alarm clock had died an untimely death for trying to rouse him in the morning. So the task had fallen to Itachi to force his brother out of bed.

Itachi's idea of a wake-up call varied from day to day. Some days he would simply bang on the door, or poke his head into the room and growl at his brother to get up or he'd leave without him. Other days he was more creative. Sometimes he'd bring in a cup of ice water to pour on Sasuke's head, or the air-horn he'd bought a few months ago to blast his eardrums with. Lately, he'd had Sachi's shrill cry to wake him with.

This particular morning, he decided to barge into the room, where he proceeded to rip the covers from his brother's body, plant his foot against Sasuke's ribs and shove him clear off the other side of the bed. The undignified squawk of surprise and the nice loud thump he made when he hit the floor made Itachi smirk smugly.

"Time to get up, Sasuke." He informed his brother patiently, still smirking at the furious black eyes that promised him a painful death over the edge of the mattress.

"Fuck you." Sasuke growled with all the malice he could muster while sprawled in a half-naked heap on his bedroom floor.

"Not in this life time." Itachi bared his teeth in his own odd version of what was supposed to be a smile, as far as Sasuke could figure. It was creepy.

"Sick bastard." He muttered, pulling himself to his feet. He glared and made a shooing motion with his hand when the elder Uchiha just continued to stand there. Itachi debated staying a bit longer just to annoy the hell out of his otouto, but decided against it. He had better ammunition than that, anyways.

He paused at the door and smirked at Sasuke over his shoulder. "Denial is an ugly thing, little brother."

Sasuke blinked at him. "What?"

Itachi snorted softly. "You and that Uzumaki boy. You're so obvious."

His younger brother flushed angrily. "About what? I told you, he's nothing but an acquaintance."

"Of course. That's why you were moaning his name in your sleep." Itachi hid a grin at his brother's stunned expression, shut the door behind him as he left and counted to five.

"_I WAS NOT!"_

_

* * *

_

Sasuke grumbled all through his first period class. Damned sadistic, sick, twisted, fucked-up Itachi. He was not in denial. He wasn't attracted to Naruto in the slightest. And he most certainly hadn't been dreaming about him.

…had he?

Well, he blustered to himself, so what if he had? People couldn't control their dreams. Dreaming was nothing but the subconscious mind's way of sorting and filing away recent events. So if Naruto had appeared in any of his dreams, which he hadn't, then it would have simply been because of their assignment, which had become a large focus recently. That was the only logical explanation for any blond dobes being in his dreams. Which there hadn't been.

If he were attracted to Naruto, he would have known it by now. He'd have felt something, anything. At most, he was a friend, of sorts. An annoying friend, but a friend. He wasn't even his type, anyways. His ideal was someone nice and quiet, not shy maybe, just simply more conservative. Someone with similar interests and goals, that he could relate to and have an intelligent conversation with. Someone he could be comfortable with.

Which was the exact opposite of Naruto. Naruto with his loud blond hair, impossibly blue eyes, face splitting grin and loud, boisterous laughter. Naruto with his quick temper, high energy, and the attention span of a gnat. Naruto with his gaudy looking orange clothes, calling him names or making faces at him in front of the entire student body, able to give as good as he got, usually making a spectacle of himself and drawing far too much attention.

He was sure that there wasn't anything special about him. He was unusual for his blond hair and blue eyes amidst the mostly Asian population around him, but even that was barely worth a second glance. Other than those traits, he was just…average. Average height, average build, average looks, average marks, average everything.

But it was never boring around him, at least. Naruto always had a way of keeping things interesting, even if he irritated the hell out of you in the process.

And why the hell was he thinking about him so much, anyways? Double damn Itachi for putting his thoughts on this track. For the final time, he was not attracted to Naruto, and he didn't know why the people around him wouldn't believe him.

He turned his mind back to his history lessons, determined to study and put all thoughts of evil siblings and blond fools out of his mind. He focused his gaze down onto his text book on the desk and concentrated on what he reading.

And thought about Naruto.

About how annoying he was, dragging him into his group of friends and bugging him until he smiled. About how crazy he was, getting Itachi high on caffeine. About how angry he made him, covering him in green and glitter. About how he'd looked sprawled almost completely naked on the bathroom floor, colour high in his face from his anger and skin still slick from the shower. About what he might have seen if that towel he'd been wearing had slipped just a bit further. About licking drops of water off his chest…

His mind screeched to a halt and he blinked stupidly at the line in his book he'd been staring at since he'd opened the book in the first place. He had not just thought that. He _had not_. It simply wasn't possible. It was a fluke. He wasn't attracted to Naruto. He wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't - the image of Naruto laying underneath him on the floor, face flushed for a very different reason, moaning as Sasuke's tongue lapped water from his skin flashed through his mind, and he felt his body tighten in response.

He wasn't. He couldn't be. Right?

_Oh shit._

* * *

Sasuke was acting odd. Well, odd for Sasuke, at least. 

Naruto eyed the other boy sitting across the cafeteria table from him while he spooned baby food into Sachi's mouth, trying to figure out what was going on. Grumpy, stoic, holier-than-thou, stuck up asshole Sasuke he was used to, that was normal. But now he was even quieter than usual, did little more than grunt in response to his insults, and refused to look him in the eye unless it was to glare. It was like he was guilty of something, but Naruto had no idea what.

He hadn't even put up much resistance when Naruto had gotten him to sit at their group's table.

"Why should I?" He'd grouched.

Naruto had rolled his eyes at him. "Because I sit with my friends at lunch, and you're one of them, doofus. Now sit!"

And to his everlasting surprise, Sasuke had hesitated a moment, and then sat, to Sakura's everlasting joy, beside her.

Naruto took a moment to feel pleased with himself. Maybe he would be successful in playing matchmaker for his friends, after all. He felt a teensy bit guilty for basically spying on the Uchiha, passing on any information to interested third parties, but he shrugged it off. Sakura was his best friend, and if this made her happy, then he'd do it.

Naruto was a meddler. He couldn't help it, it was just in his nature to try to fix other people's problems. Which was why he was watching Sasuke with the slightest bit of concern now. Sakura happily chatted away, determined not to waste a rare opportunity for time with her crush, and Sasuke simply ate his meal with slow methodical movements, his gaze unfocused and looking as though his mind was a million miles away.

So Naruto kicked him under the table. Well, not hard, just enough to get his attention. Sasuke blinked at him, then frowned and looked away.

"Oi, what's up with you today, teme? You've been spaced right out all lunch hour."

Sasuke just huffed. "Nothing. Just…thinking."

"Is that all? It must have been painful, then, you looked like you were constipated or something."

He got a death-glare for his efforts. "Go to hell."

"A-ha! There's normal Sasuke-teme. I knew you're prickly-assed self had to be in there somewhere, ya bastard." Naruto grinned broadly.

"Fuck you, dobe." Sasuke growled, viciously stabbing at his food.

"Ha! In your dreams, Uchiha." The blond taunted, and was surprised when said Uchiha froze for a moment before flushing an angry red and glaring at him like he was really hoping looks could kill.

"You wish, Uzumaki." Sasuke retorted. He picked up his tray and book bag and stormed away.

"Naruto!" Sakura admonished, kicking him in the shin. "What the hell did you do to piss him off? It was going so well today!"

Naruto stared after Sasuke as he left, more than a little confused.

"I don't know." He told her honestly.

* * *

Naruto slammed his bag onto his shared desk and impatiently shoved a bawling Sachi at the disgruntled looking Uchiha. The rest of the class was milling about with their own "children", waiting for Kakashi to come start class.

"What is your problem today?" Naruto demanded. Sakura had been some pissed at him for ruining her moment, and he hadn't even figured out yet what he'd done that was so bad. It wasn't like insulted each other was anything new, they'd done that since the first day they met at the start of the semester.

"None of your business." Sasuke growled, eyes focused on the doll as he rocked her.

"You've been pissier than usual today, and Sakura is giving me shit for it! So if I'm going to catch hell for your grouchiness, I think it is my business."

"Fuck off, dobe."

Naruto felt like pulling on his hair. He was just so infuriating sometimes! He growled and sat with a thump, arms crossed and chin jutting out mutinously. "You have got to be the biggest asshole I have ever met."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment!" The blond scowled, and Sasuke just shrugged.

"You barely know me. Why the hell do you care, and why the hell should I tell you anything?"

"I told you already! You're a friend, you stupid ass, and I care about my friends. Even when they're jerks like you!"

Sasuke wrinkled his nose and huffed, glaring at him through his bangs. "It's nothing, so drop it. I'm fine."

Naruto scowled at him and muttered under his breath about cranky, stubborn bastards who wouldn't let their friends help them, and Sasuke shook his head and focused on the now quiet doll in his arms.

He was most certainly not going to tell the dobe what was bothering him. He had decided that he would simply refuse to acknowledge it. So what if he was _slightly_ attracted to Naruto? No big deal, it didn't mean he had to act on it, or that anything at all had to come of it. It was simply there, and he would simply ignore it.

Besides, even if, huge and extremely unlikely if, he had wanted to act on it, he wouldn't have. As far as he could tell, Naruto was straight anyways. Not, he supposed, that anyone knew his own preferences since he made a point to keep his private life as absolutely private as possible. But Naruto wore his heart on his sleeve, and if he liked guys, it would have shown by now.

So he wasn't going to let himself start something that was doomed to fail from the start.

* * *

Naruto grumbled the whole way home, pouting like a five year old that had been denied a cookie as he disembarked from the bright yellow school bus. 

"Something the matter, Uzumaki?"

Naruto startled at the voice, and turned to glare at one Hyuuga Neji walking behind him.

"You're a dirty rotten liar, Hyuuga." He groused, too peeved at the moment to care that he was insulting someone that could squish him like a bug.

Neji simply raised one eyebrow at him. "Oh?"

"Yeah. You telling me Sasuke-teme's not such a bad guy. He's a jerk! A total asshole!"

Neji's other brow joined the first. "I heard you telling him today that you considered him a friend."

Naruto flushed, somewhere between anger and embarrassment. "Yeah, so? He's still a big jerk!"

"Then you must have seen some good in him then." Neji told him calmly.

"Did not." Naruto pouted, then eyed the Hyuuga suspiciously. "Why the hell do you care, anyways?"

Neji shrugged. "He was a friend, once." As if that was supposed to explain everything.

Naruto didn't get to ask any other questions, though, since the other boy simply turned and walked away. He stared after him for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell was up with that guy, then shrugged and turned back to home.

Tsunade was actually home before he was, which was a once-in-a-blue-moon sort of thing. Even stranger, she was cooking dinner. Not that he didn't deeply appreciate the home she'd given him since he was a child, but he was used to taking care of himself since she was usually so busy with work, and highly suspicious when she broke from the routine.

"What are you up to?" He asked.

Tsunade smiled her most innocent smile and stirred the vegetables in the wok. "Me? I'm making dinner."

"I can see that. Why? You never make dinner unless you're sucking up for something."

"What? Don't be silly. I would never."

"Uh huh. What do you want?

"Well…there is this one, teensy, tiny, little thing I need you to help me with…" She did her best puppy eyes, playing it for all it was worth.

Now he was even more wary. This could not possibly end in his favour. "What?"

"Well, a colleague of mine from the hospital asked me some time ago to baby-sit his grandson tomorrow night, because he has a big gala to go to, and everyone else was planning on going. I said I would, but now I've been slotted to work my round in EMERG for the next few nights, and I won't be home."

"You want me to baby-sit for you, don't you?"

"Please! Pretty, pretty please? This guy is the head of the hospital board, and it would be so bad if I cancelled on him! I'll buy you all the ramen you can eat!"

"Alright…on one condition."

Tsunade instantly looked suspicious.

"You have to go on a date with Jiraiya."

Her eyes almost fell out of her head. "You can't be serious!" She spluttered.

"Oh, but I am." He grinned evilly.

"But…but…you can't…"She hung her head in resignation. "Fine, you win. But only one date!"

"Deal. So what's the kid's name, anyways?" Naruto started unpacking his bag, taking out what he needed for homework.

"Konohamaru. And Udon. And Moegi."

He whirled on her."What? Wait, how many kids are we talking, here?"

"Just those three."

"You said it was just his grandson!"

Tsunade grinned sheepishly."And his friends. He's having a slumber party."

Naruto balked. "I can't take three kids at once! And I'll have Sachi tomorrow night, too!"

"So, invite somebody to help you. Sakura would come over, wouldn't she?"

"But she has practice for drama club tomorrow! She'll be there for hours!"

"Well, invite somebody else then. Like that Uchiha boy. Then you can work on your project, while you're at it." She smiled encouragingly.

"I…yeah, but…aw, why him?" He whined.

"What, he seems like a nice boy."

"Oh yeah, he's a real peach."

"Well, maybe you'll be surprised."

Naruto threw his hands into the air. "Why does everybody keep telling me that?"

"Oh, shut up and invite him already." She waved her wooden spoon at him.

"_Fine_." He growled and stomped off towards the phone.

_Well, shit.

* * *

_

_Sasuke Day 10: Is it possible for the doll to have preferences? Because I'm sure that she likes Naruto better than she likes me, even though he always tries to get me to calm her down when she cries. I thought it was supposed to be "Momma's Boy" and "Daddy's Girl", so why does she like him better? It's stupid if you ask me.

* * *

_


	12. Here I am

_And chapter 12. Yay! I love this chapter, it's so cute and full of fluff it makes the teeth hurt, but in a good way, lol. Sorry it didn't get posted as early as I'd originally planned. Predictably, almost as soon as I said I would get the new chapter out pronto, a bunch of stuff came up to delay it. _

_I have been super busy, and will only get busier, heh. I just took a new job, which I really, really love, as head cook in a new bistro cafe that's opening in a few days, and am moving soon as well. So things are crazy hectic, but I'm having fun with it anyways. I will tried my damnedest to keep up with my usual posting schedule of every second friday, so please bear with me._

_The last chapter got over 60 reviews again, putting us over 500! I am beyond thrilled, and so flattered that so many of you guys like my fic. Huge thanks to everyone that leaves their comments, you have no idea how much I look forward to them each chapter. You guys are the best! X3_

**

* * *

****Chapter 12: Here I am**

* * *

Here I am - next to you  
And suddenly the world is all brand new  
Here I am - where I'm gonna stay  
Now there's nothin standin in our way  
Here I am - this is me

_

* * *

_

_Sasuke Day 11: I can't believe I let that fool talk me into babysitting with him. Besides Sachi, who barely counts, I've never really dealt with children, and don't particularly relish the idea of dealing with three tonight. I don't know how to act around them, since I can't simply treat them like another adult. What does one do when keeping company with children? Aside from being abominably loud and energetic, children seem so…horribly naïve and fragile. It's almost frightening, if you really stop to think about it._

_

* * *

_

"Please?"

"I told you last night, no."

"_Please?_"

"No."

"Sasukeeee…" Naruto dragged his name out into a whine, doing his best puppy-eyed look, complete with full-out pout. Sasuke did his best not to look lest his resolve to refuse weaken at the sight. He stared hard at his text book, determined to ignore the blond idiot beside him, and the hormonal part of his brain's suggestions of other things Naruto should be begging him for.

"Come on, Sasuke. I really need some help with babysitting tonight. Tsunade would pay you for it!" Naruto tried again. He wasn't particularly fond of the idea of having the Uchiha over to his house for the night, but Tsunade had shot down every other person he'd suggested, and most were already busy or working anyways. Sasuke was his last resort, and his last hope.

"No."

"I'll look after Sachi for the next week!"

"No."

"I'll do your homework?"

"I don't feel like failing. No."

"Hey, I'm not that bad! Come on, there's three of them, I can't do that by myself!"

"I thought you liked children."

"I do! But three kindergarteners? I'd be dead by morning. So you have to come with me, Sasuke!"

"No."

"Come on, I thought we were friends! There has to be something you want! Anything you want, just please don't make me face them alone!" Naruto shook Sasuke by his shoulder, trying his best to convey his desperation, while Sasuke tried his best to push the blond away.

Kakashi watched them both over the edge of his book he wasn't supposed to be reading at his desk but did anyways and snickered into the pages. He'd show the little bastard who was going to win this fight.

"Anything I want?" Sasuke asked, maybe paying a little too much attention to the hormonal parts of his brain at the moment. They were providing him with some very interesting mental pictures of things they wanted. He shook his head, pushing the images away. He was ignoring his very minor attraction to Naruto, he reminded himself.

Naruto nodded emphatically, not noticing the odd light shining in the other boy's eyes. He forced out every last bit of adorableness he could muster, hoping against hope that he was winning.

Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes heavenward with a mental _why me?_

"Fine."

"Yeah!" Naruto punched his fist into the air in victory, but quickly retracted it and laughed nervously when most of the other students in class turned to look his way.

"Eh heh, right. So, we'll go as soon as class is over, alright?"

"Hn."

* * *

Sasuke had suspected from the moment he'd agreed to this that he would come to regret it. As soon as the door to Naruto's house opened up, he knew he'd been right.

Three excitedly screeching blurs of motion whirled around the two teens as a semi-frazzled looking Tsunade rushed towards them. She handed Naruto a list of instructions and emergency phone numbers, a handful of cash with a command to order pizza, patted him on the head and pushed her way out the door without a backwards glance.

The door clicked shut, leaving both boys staring down at three small, mischievously grinning faces. Naruto shifted Sachi in his arms and took a small step towards Sasuke with a vague hope that there was strength in numbers.

"So, um, I'm Naruto, and this is Sasuke. What are your names, then?" The blond tried.

The little one in the middle with spiky hair, goggles and a scarf, which seemed really odd to wear in late spring, grinned broadly and pointed his thumb at his chest.

"I'm Konohamaru the Great!" He announced.

The other boy on his right, the timid looking one with glasses and a drip of snot hanging from his nose, spoke in a self-conscious mumble. "I'm Udon."

The little girl on the left sidled up to Sasuke and batted her large eyes at him. "I'm Moegi. You're cute."

Sasuke just blinked down at her disbelievingly. She was what, five? That was way too young to be hitting on him. Sachi saved him from having to reply by choosing that moment to wail her little plastic heart out.

Three sets of wide, curious eyes shifted to watch Naruto rock the doll in his arms, cooing soothing words. It didn't take long for the crying to subside, then she giggled and fell silent again.

"Wow. You have a baby? Is it yours? Aren't you too young to have a baby?" Moegi swiftly changed focus onto the blond, standing on her toes to try and see past the blanket.

"It's not mine…" Naruto started to say, but was cut off.

"Then why do you have it? Are you babysitting the baby too? Or is it your baby?" Konohamaru pointed accusingly at the Uchiha while he rattled off his own questions.

Sasuke immediately looked affronted. "That's not my child. It's not even a real baby."

Udon looked at him curiously. "But it sounded awfully real."

"It's a doll." Naruto tried to explain. "It's got all sorts of electronics in it to make it act like a real baby, but it's just a doll. It's an assignment for class, we have to treat it like our own child."

Moegi blinked over at Sasuke. "So where's yours, then?"

Sasuke sighed and pointed at Sachi. "Right there."

"But…that's his doll."

"And it's mine, too."

"Oh. So you're the doll's daddy?"

"That's right."

"Does that mean that Naruto is the mommy?"

Sasuke smirked. "Yes, he's the mommy."

"I am not the mother, you bas…er…um…butthead." Naruto faltered, realizing just in the knick of time that there were small ears listening to his every word, and he had had to scramble for something to call the jerk without using profanity.

"Good one, dobe." Sasuke taunted, watching Naruto struggle with the obvious urge to curse him out. He felt a tug on his shirt and looked down at Konohamaru.

"Does that mean that Naruto is your girlfriend?"

"I, uh…"

"Don't be a dummy!" Moegi chastised. "Naruto's a boy, so that would make him Sasuke's boyfriend. Right?" She beamed at the two teens, pleased to be able to show off how bright she was.

Naruto sputtered and turned a deep, embarrassed shade of red. "He is not my boyfriend!" He screeched, hating that his voice sounded more high-pitched that usual. Sasuke felt heat rising into his own face and shook his head.

"Oh." Moegi looked disappointed for a moment, then shrugged it off, grabbed the Uchiha by the wrist and pulled him further into the house.

"Come on, let's play!"

* * *

Sasuke sat back on the cream coloured sofa that sat in the living room with Sachi resting quietly in his lap, playing with the macaroni necklace that sat around his neck. Moegi had made it for him and insisted that he wear it. He had refused up until he saw the tears flood into her big brown eyes. He couldn't win against that, so he'd given in and put it on.

Naruto sat in the middle of the disaster zone that has previously been the floor, surrounded by children, paper, paint, noodles, pizza boxes, and crayons as all four of them scribbled out their own pictures. The blond had glitter on his face and arms, paint smears on his hands and a heart shaped clip in his hair, and Sasuke could only sit back and watch in morbid fascination.

They had played away most of the evening, though Sasuke had refused to join in. Part of him had been tempted, but he refused to lower himself to acting so childish. They had shifted later into arts and crafts mode, hence where his new jewellery had come from.

Now they seemed to have exhausted every available piece of paper in the house, and he had to wonder what would be coming next. And why the hell he had agreed to this.

"Naruto, can we listen to some music?"

"Uh, sure." The blond grabbed the television remote and flipped through the satellite menu until he came to the music channels. He picked a light rock station and put it on, laughing when he saw the kids get up and start dancing.

Moegi latched onto Naruto's hand as soon as he stood up. "Can you dance with me?" She asked.

"Sure." He grabbed her hands in his and started swinging her around the carpet.

"No, no! I want to dance fancy!" She protested. "Like a princess!"

"Like a princess?"

"Yeah! Don't you watch any movies? When the princess gets to dance, they play nice music and twirl around and around like they're on clouds." She explained. Naruto nodded, pretending he understood any of that.

Her eyebrows came together in distress. "You don't know how to dance like that, do you?" She accused.

"I, well, no, not really." He stammered out, suddenly feeling like he'd failed her somehow.

Sasuke sighed. For some reason, he just couldn't leave well enough alone today. Damn his soft heart, anyways. He didn't know why he did it, but he spoke up.

"I know how."

Moegi whirled around, looking positively delighted. "Really? Can you dance with me, Sasuke?"

He nodded reluctantly and stood, reaching for the remote. He flipped to the classical music station and then bowed to the little girl, deciding to go all out for just this once.

"Good evening, Princess. May I have the honour of this dance?"

Moegi promptly blushed, eyes wide and shining with awe. She went to bow in return, then thought better of it and dropping into a curtsy like all the princesses she'd ever seen on the television screen.

"Yes, you may." She told him demurely, holding out her hand for him. He held her hands as close to proper positions as they could get with the major height difference and took his cue from the music to begin twirling her around the room.

Naruto watched, bemused. He hadn't known the Uchiha could be such a softie for kids. Or for anyone at all. It didn't seem to fit him, and yet it did. The more time he was spending with the other boy, the more he saw that he wasn't quite the cold-hearted bastard he seemed to want everybody to believe he was.

The "couple" made two complete circuits before she stopped him with a frown.

"Our hands aren't right. I'm too short to reach your shoulder." She pouted.

Naruto and the two boys had moved to the couch to watch and stay out of the way. Udon leaned forward to see better, and noted that Moegi was definitely too short to dance properly with Sasuke.

"You should dance with someone else, then, Moegi." He told her. "Like Konohamaru." Konohamaru eeped and blushed, looking scandalized.

"But Konohamaru doesn't know how to dance like that. Sasuke, can you show us?" She pleaded.

"I could if I had a proper dance partner." The Uchiha shrugged.

Moegi pointed at the stunned looking blond, even as she walked over to grab Konohamaru's wrist. "Dance with Naruto! He's tall enough, right?"

"Well, yeah, but…" Sasuke scrambled for a reason why that would be a bad idea. Besides the obvious reasons, which he couldn't begin to explain to a five year old.

Naruto waved his hand dismissively, looking embarrassed for the umpteenth time tonight. "Nah, Sasuke wouldn't want to dance with me, really."

"Aw, Naruto, please?" Moegi begged, while Konohamaru stood behind her shaking his head "no" frantically. Naruto groaned and slumped forward.

"Sasuke?"

"Yeah, dobe?"

"I won't tell anybody if you won't."

"Deal."

Naruto sighed and got up, shuffling over to the other teen with all the enthusiasm of someone going to the dentist to get teeth pulled without anaesthetic. "So what do I have to do, then?"

"Don't worry, you get to play the girl, so all you have to do is follow my lead." Sasuke told him, hoping he sounded smug instead of showing just how nervous this was making him. Close, physical contact was not what he needed to get over his little infatuation with the twit.

"I'm not the girl!" Naruto predictably squawked. Sasuke smirked and eyed him. "Could have fooled me. Stick you in a dress and I bet you'd look just like a girl."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "What! I'm not girly looking, you…you…argh! You should be the girl! You're way prettier than I am, jerk!"

"Doesn't matter. You don't know how to dance formally, and I was only taught how to lead. You get to be the girl, so stop complaining if you're going to do this." _I'm not pretty._ Not that he cared what the dobe thought of him.

Naruto scowled at him. "Fine. Lay on, Macduff."

"And damned be he that first cries, 'Hold, enough!'" Sasuke muttered, stepping up to the blond.

"Put your left hand on my shoulder." He instructed.

Naruto did, and jumped slightly when Sasuke's hand settled at his waist. Both their right hands were clasped together and held out slightly to the side. Beside them, Moegi and a red-faced Konohamaru had copied their pose, while Udon still sat on the couch, more than happy to sit this one out.

"Alright. Konohamaru, you have to lead. She just follows your moves. Watch me, and then you try." And with that he was whisking the blond out onto their impromptu dance floor. Naruto stumbled at first, and stepped on his toes more than a few times, but by the third circuit of the room has adjusted and was moving smoothly, as long as he watched his feet.

"Dobe."

"Huh?"

"Look up. You're not supposed to watch your feet, you're supposed to keep eye contact with your partner."

"Oh." He lifted his impossibly blue eyes to meet Sasuke's, and the Uchiha was lost. They continued dancing, never once breaking eye contact, moving smoothly in slower and slower circles until Naruto realized that they had stopped moving, and the kids were watching them.

He instantly blushed and stepped away, laughing nervously. "Well, um, thanks for the dance lesson, Sasuke. Your turn, guys."

Sasuke blinked as he snapped back to reality with a slew of mental curses.

He may be in deeper trouble than he thought.

* * *

Naruto collapsed beside Sasuke on the couch. "They're finally all asleep."

Sasuke eyed the three little bodies laying in a semi-circle of blankets and pillows on the floor around them and nodded, exhausted. Sachi lay in the crook of his arm, changed, fed and down for the night. He let his head fall back onto the back of the couch and closed his eyes. He heard a jaw-cracking yawn beside him and then felt a weight settle on his shoulder.

He cracked one black eye open to glare at the blond head laying on him. "Dobe."

"What?"

"Move."

"Don't be so stuck up. It's not like I'm going to molest you. I just need to rest my eyes for a minute, and you're comfy."

Sasuke decided he was too tired to argue and lay his head back down.

"Teme?"

"What?"

"Thanks. For helping me out tonight. I owe you one."

"Damned straight you do."

Naruto simply chuckled, nuzzled against his shoulder and seemed to doze off. Sasuke stared at him for a while, watching him sleep and wondering for the hundredth time what it was about this idiot he was actually attracted to. He certainly didn't have a thing for people that drooled on him, he knew that much.

The most likely reason was that it was simply hormones and curiosity. Naruto was different that anybody he'd ever met before. Even though he knew their pasts were very similar, they couldn't have been more the opposite of each other if they tried. They did say that opposites attract. Could it be that simple?

If it was just curiosity, then maybe he could cure that at least. Once he'd learned what he needed to, his curiosity would be satisfied and he'd be over this. His head dipped down towards the other boy. If he did this just this once, then he would know that he truly felt nothing for Naruto, and it would all go away.

He moved lower still and could feel Naruto's breath ghosting along his cheek. Just this once, he'd prove that there was no spark, no _zing_, nothing but curiosity and some hormones lusting after a pair of pale pink lips.

He moved so close that their noses were touching and all he had to do was close that infinitesimal space between their lips, and just this once, he would kiss him…

"Sasuke." Naruto breathed his name against his mouth, and Sasuke jolted back like he'd been scalded. He quickly looked up, but the blonde's eyes were closed and relaxed with sleep. He forced his heart to slow down, shaking his head.

He'd really been about to kiss Naruto. What in the nine circles of hell had he been thinking? And where the hell did Naruto get off scaring him like that? And what on earth was Naruto dreaming about to say his name aloud?

Sasuke swallowed hard and decided maybe he didn't want to know. He closed his eyes and tried to relax again.

He was in very, very deep trouble.

_

* * *

Naruto Day 11: Ye Gods, what a long day. I thought that would never end. At least I had Sasuke-teme over to help me out, or I don't think I could have done it. I like kids plenty (Sasuke say's it's because I'm immature so I fit right in, the asshole), but three plus Sachi would have been overwhelming. They're good kids, though. It was fun watching Sasuke with them, I never knew he could be such a sucker for kids. He played with them, took all the pictures they drew for him and the macaroni necklace that Moegi made with almost no grumbling. I think he actually likes the necklace. He's really not such a bad guy. Just don't tell him I said that, ne?

* * *

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	13. Hooked on a Feeling

_Well, to start. I appologize for this being so very, very late. I've been working my butt off at the new job, which I love, as busy as it keeps me, lol. This whole being the chef thing is very new for me, and it's crazy but I'm learning and making it up as I go. It's pretty neat though that I'm getting a reputation for being that cook at the cool new cafe that makes those awesome desserts, lol. And my boss gives me so much room to play around with said desserts, it's such a blast. She's an awesome boss._

_I sprained my knee (trying to kill a spider, if you can believe that --;;) so I've been limping around all day, but it got me to sit here long enough to give in and finish this chapter. I've started amassing a plethora(ha, I love that word) of new household items to take with me, as well as packing my old belongs for the move, which is next week! XD yay! I do have a new computer as well, and yes, I have internet there, so I will still be writing for here, never fear._

_Second, to the reviewers...you guys ROCK! Not only did the last chapter take us over 600 reviews, but it took over 100 reviews by itself, which is a new record for me. Cookies all around: )_

_Alrightly, on to chapter 13! It's getting posted now because I really don't know when or if I'll have time to post later. All the usual disclaimers apply. Flamers can come complain in person, I'll be the one in the kitchen with the short temper and sharp knives._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 13: Hooked on a Feeling**_  
_

* * *

I can't stop this feeling  
Deep inside of me.  
Girl, you just don't realize  
What you do to me.  
When you hold me  
In your arms so tight,  
You let me know,  
Everythings alright, ahahah  
I'm hooked on a feeling

* * *

_Naruto, Day 12: Alright, what the hell is wrong with Sachi? She won't stop crying! We've tried everything. Is she sick? Is it possible for her to get sick? Is she broken, like the little computer thingamabob inside? Dammit, how do I help her? Does it make me a bad parent that I don't know what to do? Who do I even ask for help from when I'm in the middle of class? Everybody else is watching like their waiting for us to make it stop, and I can tell that they're wondering why we look like we're just letting her cry. I'm lost here, Kakashi-sensei._

* * *

Naruto was very comfortable. His bed didn't seem as soft as usual, but it was very warm, and the rhythmic beat he could hear below his ear was soothing. He wanted only to go back to sleep, but something was bothering him, and his sense of "something isn't quite right" was prodding at him. 

He slowly cracked open one eye, squinting against the morning sunlight, and wondered why he was staring at the big television from his living room. He blinked slowly, trying to pull free of the fogginess of sleep. Looking around the room, he realized that he was, indeed, in the living room. He must have fallen asleep on the couch last night.

The blond yawned and nuzzled against his pillow, ready to go back to sleep now. He frowned when he realized that whatever he was laying on, it did not feel at all like the couch. Eyebrows coming together in confusion, he slowly twisted his head around to try and see what had dared take the place of his comfy couch cushion, and found that his mind flat out refused to process the impossible image.

One Uchiha Sasuke was fast asleep on his couch. Which, while strange, was not totally out of the realm of possibility. No, the part that would not compute was that he was laying on said Uchiha. Not just maybe using part of the other boy as a pillow for his head, but fully laying on top of him, bodies pressed together in a way that would make him want to die of mortification if he wasn't simply so shocked.

Naruto slowly, gingerly started to move and try and push himself off the couch without waking the Uchiha. The last thing he needed was for Sasuke to see this. He carefully lifted himself up, watching the other boy's face for signs that he might be waking up.

Something tightened around his waist and he froze as Sasuke's arms pulled him back down, apparently a sub-conscious protest to losing their heat source. The extremely unfortunate side-effect of this action was that, since Naruto had shifted from his original position, when he was pulled back down he was now in the perfect place to feel things about the body beneath him that he hadn't been able to feel before.

He blanched several shades, before promptly flushing a deeply embarrassed red. He knew that it was perfectly normal for young men to be…well, you know, in the morning, it was simply a matter of hormones and physiology, and it happened all the time. What he did not need to know was that Sasuke was…yeah. And to his everlasting horror, he realised that so was he. And if Sasuke woke up right now, he would know it, too. Naruto wasn't about to be accused of molesting the Uchiha while he slept, and desperately tried to think of a way out of this.

Sasuke stirred, frowning slightly, and Naruto panicked. He pushed away from the other body as much as he could, but the arms around his waist held him tight. He struggled, desperate to get away as he saw the raven's eyes start to flutter open. Deep black eyes looked at him with the unfocused fog of sleep, and Naruto held his breath as Sasuke hand slowly came up towards his face.

The hand pushed through his messy blond hair and curved around the back of his head, pulling him forward. Naruto's eyes went wide with disbelief, easily seeing exactly where this was going. He knew Sasuke was still dreaming, or at least thought he was dreaming, but he was damned if he'd play along.

"Sasuke!" he protested, voice rough with sleep. He braced himself against the Uchiha's chest and shoved, rolling himself off the couch.

This only made things worse, as he was so tangled with Sasuke that he pulled him off the couch, and right into a reversal of their previous position. Yes, this was much worse. Now Sasuke was laying on top of him, pinning him with his weight, Naruto's legs splayed and Sasuke between them with their bodies pressed far too intimately for comfort, and those black as pitch eyes staring into his with a mix of sleep and desire.

"Sasuke! Wake up!" Naruto screeched furiously, wriggling one arm free to smack the older boy upside the head.

Sasuke flinched and blinked down at him in obvious confusion. "Naruto?" He said the name slowly, as if he was unsure if he remembered right. His mind felt foggy, but he was definitely awake now. And very much wishing that he wasn't. He clearly remembered the dream he'd just been having, and was horrified to the core to find that he had apparently been acting it out.

The last thing he remembered was a half-asleep chat with Naruto while they sat on the couch, and it wasn't much of a stretch to realize they'd probably both fallen asleep right there. Now he had the very pissed-off looking blond pinned underneath him on the floor, with their bodies in an extremely compromising position. And he could already tell his body was also in a very compromising state. He quickly shifted his hips so as not to have that particular part of his anatomy pressing against the body below him and was more than startled when his abdomen brushed against evidence that said body was very much in the same condition.

Naruto hissed in a breath at the contact, mortified that through all of this, he hadn't been able to make his body calm down. He was sure that he had never been so embarrassed in his entire life. He didn't want to react to the touch, but he simply couldn't help it. God, what must Sasuke be thinking right now, he wondered.

Sasuke, for his part, had simply blanked out. He truly had no idea how to handle this, how to salvage this situation into something that would let him keep his pride, and his secrets. Shit, had he said anything? How much had he given away?

"You know, boys, I don't really care what you do, but could you at least keep it confined to the bedroom when I'm in the house?"

Both heads whipped to the side to see one extremely amused looking Tsunade watching them through then entranceway. She grinned at them like the Cheshire cat, and only chuckled when they both blushed bright red and sprang apart, sitting with their knees up to try and hide their mutual discomfort.

"I suggest you both hurry up and get ready so I can drive you to school before I go to bed. I'm very tired, so I suggest you make it quick. Maybe share the shower or something, neh?"

Both of them promptly began sputtering protests, but she simply ignored them and went to the kitchen to get herself a bite to eat while she waited, smirking all the way.

Moegi peeked around the corner with a piece of toast in her hands and giggled. She looked back over her shoulder at the two stunned boys behind her and smirked victoriously.

"I told you so!"

* * *

Nothing happened, Sasuke assured himself. He'd been half asleep, he couldn't really be held accountable for things he did while he was still dreaming, right? It didn't count if he sleep-molested Naruto. Was sleep-molesting even possible? Kind of like sleepwalking with perverted hands? Something like that had to exist. 

Right?

He sat though his advanced math class like a zombie, staring ahead at nothing and looking perfectly blank and disinterested. It made good cover for his complete and total inner chaos. Sachi rested in the crook of his arm, "sleeping" peacefully. He wished that he could be that peaceful.

His plan of action, as it stood right now, was to avoid Naruto like the plague for as long as he could. Last class together was inevitable, at which point his brilliant strategy was to pretend that it had never happened, and if Naruto mentioned it, he would have no idea what the blonde was talking about.

He was really, really hoping that Naruto would do the same thing.

Sasuke was pretty sure that he had never been so embarrassed in his entire life. This even beat the time when he was seven and he had been a show-off and dived off the high-board at the pool in the gym, only to lose his swim trunks in the process and been forced to climb out of the water bare-assed naked.

No, this was much worse.

It had barely been two weeks since he'd had this ridiculous project dumped into his lap, and he was starting to wonder if he'd make it to the end of the month. Sheer stubbornness refused to let him back down from Kakashi's blatant challenge, and he would see it through so he could mentally thumb his nose at the older man and prove once again that he was right, and Kakashi needed to stay the hell out of his business.

He did have to, maybe, acknowledge just the teensiest attraction to Naruto. He wasn't yet sure why, but it was there in the back of his mind, making him do things like secretly check out Naruto's ass without his mental permission for his eyes to do so.

It meant _nothing_.

And he'd prove it. One way or another.

Sachi began to cry.

* * *

What the hell had happened this morning? 

The question was running laps through Naruto's mind, distracting him from the work he really needed to be studying. His grades had slipped enough this year, and he needed to bring them back up to acceptable levels. But while he stared blankly at the page on his desk, all he could see was the image of Sasuke's face looming over him with that _look_ in his eyes.

He wanted it to be a bad dream, but he just couldn't make himself believe it. If nothing else, he still had the bump on the back of his head from when he'd fallen to the floor to remind him that if the pain was real, then so was the rest of it.

So what had it been? He was almost certain that Sasuke hadn't really been awake, that much he could believe. So the other boy had either still been dreaming, or had believed he was dreaming.

Had he been dreaming about him?

Naruto wasn't sure at all that he wanted to ever know the answer to that. He moved on autopilot when the bell rang, collecting his papers and shoving them into his bag as he slowly plodded towards the classroom door.

It was lunch hour, and he made his way slowly over to his table and sank into his seat. His lunch sat in front of him, but he simply poked at it, too preoccupied to bother eating, and it didn't take long for the others to notice his unusual silence.

"Yo blondie, what's up with you today?" Kiba poked him, hard, in the shoulder with a fork.

Naruto flinched away and glared at the offending utensil. "The hell did you stab me with a fork for, you mangy mutt?"

Kiba merely snorted and ignored the usual insults. "Because you've been spaced out for the last twenty minutes sitting here, and you've ignored everybody that's tried to talk to you. Plus, Sakura told me to."

"I did not!" Sakura protested from across the table, but she looked guilty enough for Naruto to believe that she had. "We were just, um, concerned about you, Naruto. You're not usually like this, is something the matter?"

Naruto was never, ever in a million years going to tell Sakura that the guy she'd had a crush on for the last four years had tried to molest him in his sleep this morning. He was far too attached to his life and his testicles to ever say something so stupid to a girl with a temper like Sakura had. So instead, he grinned and waved it off.

"Nah, I'm fine, just tired from babysitting last night."

Sakura eyed him suspiciously. One of the drawbacks of knowing someone since back when you were still wearing diapers was that they knew you too damned well sometimes. Like when you were lying. He hated that.

Ino snickered from her seat further down, eating her lunch while Shikamaru took a turn feeding their "baby". "Funny, I was thinking you reminded me of how Kiba used to space out to happy la-la land when he was crushing on Hinata and still hadn't worked up the guts to go ask her out."

Hinata giggled quietly and blushed, while Kiba went tomato-red and sputtered indignantly. "I-I did no such thing, Yamanaka! Stop spreading your filthy little lies and – wait, are you saying Naruto…has a crush on somebody?"

All activity at the table stopped so that everyone could turn to stare at the blond. This was, after all, an unprecedented event. Naruto had never once in their high school years shown more than a vague romantic interest in anybody, and he was either totally oblivious to anyone that actually did develop an interest in him, or he ignored it and simply befriended them in a way that left no room for anything extra.

"I, what? Hey, wait, no I don't!" Naruto held his hands up in protest.

"You have been acting weird, Naruto." Sakura said, trying to prod him.

"No, it's just this thing with Sachi and the teme is kind of crazy, you know? That's all."

Kiba grinned wolfishly. "So, what's her name?"

"Who's name?"

"Don't play dumb! The girl you're crushing on! Spill, man! Is she hot? Do we know her?"

Naruto blushed and glared at his friends. "I don't have a crush on anybody! There is no girl!"

"You've always been a terrible liar." Shikamaru added his two cents to the conversation.

"I'm not lying!"

"You're blushing." Sakura pointed out, grinning.

"So?"

"So, you're lying. Tell us who she is. You may as well, because you know we're going to bug the shit out of you until you do." She grinned.

"I'm not lying!" Naruto screeched. "There is no girl, there is no crush!" He huffed.

Sakura and Kiba grinned at each other. "Denial."

Chouji paused in the middle of his chip eating and eyed him thoughtfully. "Maybe he's not lying." Naruto promptly beamed at him.

"If it were a boy he's got a crush on." The chubby boy added, making Naruto's jaw go slack with shock and horror.

Shikamaru smirked. "True. Naruto here never has said which way he swings, or ever shown interest one way or the other. For all we know…"

"I do not like boys!" Naruto shrieked, his voice far too high-pitched, and his blush slowly moving down his neck.

"Maybe that Gaara guy he got into a fight with the other day?" Ino suggested.

"No, um, I don't think Gaara would be interested." Hinata offered quietly.

"Why not?"

"Um, well, he's already seeing someone." She mumbled, blushing.

Ino was always a sucker for gossip. "Really? Who? And how do you know, anyways?"

Hinata blushed darker. "Um, my cousin lives with us. I…I can hear them sometimes, at night."

Ino's eyes went wide. "No way! Neji? Man, I always wondered about him. But wow, him and that Gaara guy. That's just so…so…_hot_."

Sakura grinned and nodded. "Totally." The guys are the table all looked at them oddly.

"What?" Ino defended. "If guys can think lesbians are hot, I can think gay guys are hot. Get over it. Besides, we're not here to discuss my turn-ons, we're here to discuss Naruto's turn-ons. Spill it, blondie. Oh, is it that new guy, Sai? I hear he's a real perv."

Sakura wrinkled her nose. "The one from art class that always manages to draw a penis somewhere on any piece he's working on? Major perv."

"Oh! How about that Lee guy!" Ino grinned evilly as Sakura promptly made a face.

"Lee? The guy with the bad bowl cut and big eyebrows that's been practically stalking me since ninth grade? Gross!"

"Aw, come on, billboard-brow. He's kind of sweet in his own demented sort of way."

"Are we talking about the same person? Lee, the mini Gai-sensei clone? He's nuts! If he got a decent hair-cut and a personality of his own it might be different, but he's just kind of creepy the way he worships Gai-sensei." Sakura shuddered. "Naruto, it's not him, is it? Because that's just nasty!"

Naruto fumed and ignored them all, slumped into his chair and vindictively stabbing his mash potatoes with a spoon.

Sakura kicked him under the table. "Don't look so glum, chum. You know I still love you, no matter who you're crushing on. Different strokes for different folks, right?" She grinned and ducked with a laugh when he flicked a spoonful of potato at her.

* * *

Naruto was surprised when, for the first time in his memory, he found that he had beaten his desk partner to final period. Unsure if this was an omen or a boon, he slowly made his way to his usual seat, forgoing his long-held plan of stealing away the window seat. He didn't want any sort of confrontation with Sasuke today. 

The other students that had either already arrived or were filtering in chattered around him as he fidgeted restlessly. He hadn't seen Sasuke since this morning, and wasn't looking forward to having to be in close proximity now. He was sure the sheer awkwardness would strangle him.

The door banged open and all eyes turned to stare at the very dishevelled looking Uchiha with a wailing plastic baby in the crook of one arm and his bag hanging by a strap from the other. His dark eye immediately zeroed in on the blond as he stomped over to his seat and thrust the crying infant at the other boy with obvious impatience. All thoughts of awkwardness vanished.

"She wants her _mother_." He ground out.

Naruto gulped and took Sachi, cradling her to his chest and scooting his chair forward so Sasuke could squeeze by to get to his seat. He shivered when the fabric from the raven's shirt brushed against the back of his neck, and mentally slapped himself for such a reaction. He refocused on Sachi, rocking her.

"How long has she been crying?" At least the baby was a safe conversation topic.

"All fucking day." Sasuke growled and slumped into his seat.

"What?" Naruto was aghast. "How could you just let her cry all day?"

"I didn't _let _her, idiot. I've tried everything to make her stop, nothing works. She's gotten me kicked out of almost every class today for being disruptive, and given me a headache like a bloody jackhammer on my skull."

Sachi continued to cry, and gave Naruto something new to worry about. Although he believed Sasuke, he still checked her diaper and offered her food and her bottle, but nothing would calm her.

Blond brows furrowed in consternation. "I don't know, she's never done this before."

"Yes, she has." Sasuke growled.

"When?"

"The first night I had her."

Naruto thought back to the previous week and how obviously tired the Uchiha had been after his first night, and had to mentally snicker to think how he and his brother must have handled it.

"So, how did you get her to stop then?"

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "I didn't. She stopped on her own after about eight hours straight."

Naruto just stared at him. "Eight _hours_? How long has she been crying already? You did know this shit gets recorded on the chip and we could lose serious marks for this, right? _Eight hours?_"

"Yes, eight hours, idiot. She's been crying for at least five hours already. If you know a way to stop her, be my guest."

"Maybe she's sick?"

"Can it get sick? It's a doll."

"It cries, poops, wets, and snores even louder than you. I think it can do just about anything it wants."

Sasuke was immediately indignant. "I do not snore!"

"Sure sounded like snoring to me, teme."

"Well, maybe if you hadn't been sleeping _on top of me_…" Sasuke trailed off and both boys went red in the face at the abrupt reminder of why they were supposed to not be talking. They averted their eyes, quickly checking to see if anyone had heard that. Everyone else in the class seemed well occupied and there was no staring, so they breathed mutual sighs of relief.

"Look, it never happened, got it?" Sasuke growled.

Naruto nodded., ignoring his doubts for the time being "Deal. Now, how do we make her stop crying? There has to be something."

"I don't know…give me that damned manual, I'll see if there's anything in there about her getting sick."

"I thought you didn't need the manual."

"Shut up and hand it over, dobe."

* * *

_Sasuke, Day 12: If you were looking to set me up to doubt my future parenting skills, congratulations, you've done a fine job. Sachi seems to hate me, and only me as she has an obvious liking for Naruto. I do not think I am a bad "parent". I've taken care of all her needs, tried my best to emulate the other examples I've seen, I even read that damned manual. I thought I had done quite a good job of babysitting with the dobe, and that was three real kids. So why is it that my own "child" dislikes me so?_

* * *


	14. King of Wishful Thinking

_-holds up hands in defense- DON'T SPEAR ME!!_

_-peeks out between fingers- Okay...I'm sorry. Really, really, really, I am. I haven't posted a new chapter in about eight months, and I'm sure there's a lynch mob around here somewhere after me. In my defense, there were ALOT of reasons why I wasn't updating. Work, for one. I was working eighty hour weeks, and basically just came home to sleep. Writer's block, for two. Probably from work, but I was too tired to think straight, let alone write something. And, then, a week before Christmas, my lovely little cafe that I was working my butt off for, went out of business, and I was out of a job, and I had to deal with that. So...now I've got a new job, with normal hours, and way less stress, and it's like somebody flicked on a little switch on my brain, and the story started flowing again._

_And that's my story. No, for all those who asked, and alot of you did, I am not abandoning this story. As I've promised before, I will finish this, come hell or high water, it may simply take some time. now that my life seems to be on a more normal track again, we may be able to get back on schedule with this. Maybe. So please, I beg you, bear with me._

_To my reviewers, as usual, you guys rock, and I love you. Forgive me for taking so long, but here, at last, is chapter 14!_

_Enjoy! _

* * *

**Chapter 14: King of Wishful Thinking**

* * *

I refuse to give in to my blues  
That's not how it's going to be  
And I deny the tears in my eyes  
I don't want to let you see.. no  
That you have made a hole in my heart  
And now I've got to fool myself..  
I'll get over you.. I know I will  
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking  
And I'll tell myself I'm over you  
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

* * *

_Sasuke, Day 13: So, apparently, it is possible for the doll to get sick. I researched her symptoms, and as far as I can determine, she has colic. Which has no real treatment except to try and comfort her and wait for it to pass. I despise waiting, and I despise crying. Luckily, the dobe was the one that had to deal with it last night, which seems only fair as I was the one that had to deal with it all yesterday. It's incredibly frustration to be be able to do nothing to make Sachi stop crying, and makes one feel quite useless. I feel a great sudden empathy for those parents who pass me by in the street, pushing a stroller full of screaming infant. I'm still trying to decide if she's actually capable of showing preferences for one "parent" over another. While she has, up to this point, shown a distinct liking for Naruto, it seemed that today, when he could not get her to stop crying, she stopped when I took her instead. It was...nice._

* * *

"Sakura!" 

The pink haired girl froze and cringed, carefully looking over her shoulder and dreading what she knew she would see. Running up the sidewalk behind her, dressed entirely in green except for some truly hideous orange leggings and looking excitedly hopeful, was one Rock Lee. Her eyes dropped to his hands, and she cringed again when she saw the present he clutched tightly to his chest. Oh hell.

He skidded to a halt directly infront of her, panting for breath. Beaming a blindingly bright smile at her, he held out the pink heart shaped box towards her, looking so very eager to please.

"These are for you, Sakura! I asked Ino what your favorite chocolate was, so I know that I have chosen the perfect gift for you this time, Sakura! Please, accept it as a token of my affection!"

Sakura flushed a deep, embarrassed red as she felt the eyes of people around them stopping to watch. Why, oh why, couldn't he ever take no for an answer? Lee did this every week. Every single week for the last year, and she had never once accepted one of his gifts. It sounded mean, maybe, but she knew it'd be far more cruel to give him false hope.

She sighed, feeling slightly guilty. "Lee, I appreciate the thought, really...but you know I can't accept your gifts. I've told you before, and I'll say it again, I don't feel that way for you. I'm...I'm sorry, but the answer is no. Please, you have to stop doing this."

His face faltered for only a moment before the smile was plastered back into place. "Of course I won't, Sakura! I never give up! You will see, one day, that we were meant for each other! Yosh!"

And with that proclamation hanging in the air, he turn on his heel and ran off, shouting that he would run five hundred laps around the block to prove his love to her. Sakura just shook her head at him. She had to give him one thing, he was persistant. But she just couldn't see herself with a guy like that.

Her dream man was more of the strong, silent, drop dead gorgeous type. She envisioned herself in her prom dress, an off the shoulder confection of pink, lace and bead-work, walking through the doors to the hall where the dance would be held on the arm of one Uchiha Sasuke. It would be perfect.

And she would have her best friend to thank for it, bless his ramen-loving soul. She walked up the steps the the main entrance of their school, smiling as she thought how lucky she was to have a friend like Naruto. Growing up, there was no one she'd rather have had by her side. Naruto, sticking up for her when the bullies on the playground had made fun of her for having a big forehead, something she'd been extremely self-conscious of. Naruto with a black eye for jumping the stupid bully, flashing her a thumbs up and grinning from the window in the detention room where he'd spent the rest of the week for fighting. Naruto, letting her do his hair up into pigtails and put lipstick on him, just because she'd given him her best "sad-puppy-eyes" and asked very pretty please if he'd be her model. Naruto, bringing her soup when she was sick, holding her hair when she threw up the very same soup not ten minutes later and trying his best to appologise.

Naruto, looking like the walking dead as he plodded towards his locker. Sachi was clutched tightly in one arm, as he struggled to switch out the books in his backpack for another set that he'd need for his morning classes. She quickly went over and tapped him on the shoulder. As soon as he turned around, she slipped her arms around tiny plastic baby and cradled her close. Naruto blinked blearily at her for a moment before it finally seemed to click what she was doing, and he smiled tiredly.

"Thanks, Sakura."

"Sure. What's with you this morning? You look like you're about two steps away from limping around the halls, holding out your arms and going 'braaaaains'."

He laughed. "That's my Sakura, always ready with a compliment to make me feel better."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Seriously, though, you look like hell."

"Yeah, probably. Sachi's been crying all night, I think she's sick." he told her as he stuffed more books into the already straining bag. The poor thing looked like it was ready to burst at the seems and was holding together by will power alone. "I tried to look it up. The closest thing I found is colic, which seems about right."

Sakura eyed the baby in her arms. "Colic? I've heard of that before. What do you do for it?"

Naruto hoisted the bag onto his shoulders, muttering curses. "Nothing, really. There's no real treatment for colic, except to try and comfort her and wait til it passes. Makes me suddenly sympathize with the teme." he winced.

She brightened at the mention of her crush. "Hey, speaking of Sasuke, where's he this morning?"

Naruto took Sachi back, refusing to look her in the eye and at the same time trying to not make it obvious that he was avoiding her gaze, and scoffed. "How the hell should I know? I'm not his damned keeper. Probably off somewhere, being a bastard, doing bastardly things."

Sakura raises a brow at him, amused. "Bastardly things?"

"Yes. Bastardly things. Like, you know, practicing his glare, growling, scaring small children, stealing Christmas from the Whos, the usual."

"Oh, come on. I thought you two were friends now. Or at least, civil."

"Hey, it's only been like, two weeks. Even I, amazing as I am, can't work miracles on that scale."

She laughed. "So modest too, I see. But really, I don't see what you have against him. Except, of course, that he's going to steal away the love of your life when he sweeps me off my feet."

He grinned. "Yeah, who's full of themselves, here? Besides, we both know, the only true love of my life is ramen."

"You know, I could comment on that, but I won't. Though I will say, the mental images are seriously disturbing."

Naruto scrunched up his face. "Oi, get your mind out of the gutter!"

Sachi whimpered, and Naruto instantly cringed as if expecting a blow to the head. "Aw, not again, Sachi. Please?" Sachi whimpered again. "Crap, she going to start again. You might want to leave and save your eardrums. For being plastic, this kid has quite the set of lungs."

Sakura snickered. "Obviously got that from her mother, ne?"

"I resent that. See if I help you anymore. I mean, after all, you're trying to steal away the father of my child, here." Naruto put his nose in the air and huffed.

"Alright, alright, sorry. You're right, I shouldn't be trying to steal your man. Happy now?"

Naruto glared. "Geez, Sakura, say that a little louder, would you? I don't think the people at the end of the hall heard you say that."

"I'll be sure to have it put out in the paper first thing tomorrow."

"Uh huh. You know, Lee was asking what your favorite flower was the other day. I should go find him, I'm sure I could share all sorts of interesting information..." He trailed off meaningfully, grinning in triumph at her horrified expression.

"You wouldn't dare." She half demanded, half begged.

"I don't see what you have against the guy, ya know. He seems nice enough, and he sure is dedicated. And he really does like you, ya know. Sure, he needs a haircut, and those leggings, while an excellent colour choice, do nothing for the guy, but...what's that thing Kakashi keeps saying? Look underneath the underneath. Maybe you'd like him if you gave him a chance."

Sakura stared blankly at him before slowly reaching out to lay her palm against his forehead. Bemused, he let her. "What are you doing?"

"Checking your temperature." She told him. "I was seeing if maybe you had a fever and were delirious. For a minute there, you almost sounded_ wise_."

Naruto scoffed and slapped her hand away. "What do you know? I'm full of wisdom."

"Oh, you're full of something. I just doubt that it's wisdom."

"Oh, aren't we hilarious. So, are you going to answer the question?"

She blinked at him. "What question now?"

"Why don't you give that Lee guy a chance?"

She sighed. "I'm sure, under all of those eyebrows, that he's a perfectly nice guy. But...he's not Sasuke." She shrugged.

"Bah." He grumped. "I still don't see what's so great about him."

Sakura just smiled at him. "Maybe, oh wise one, you need to take some of your own advice and look underneath the underneath. You might have more in common than you think."

Naruto opened his mouth to retort that he most certainly did not have anything in common with that teme, but when he looked over to where his friend was supposed to be, he found she was already stepping away and into her morning class, leaving him to frown at her back as her parting words echoed around in his mind.

* * *

Sasuke almost, almost, let himself feel guilty as he slipped from Iruka-sensei's empty classroom. Though if there was any guilt, it was for Iruka himself. The damned pervert, on the other hand, got no such consideration. He hadn't been lying when he said all was fair in this little war they had going on, and damned if he was going to be the one that lost. 

He smirked to himself as he casually walked down the hall to the cafeteria. Now that his little mission was complete, it was time for some lunch. He eyed the selections sitting along the service line with distaste, and returned the lunch-lady's glare with equal force. As if she could out-glare an Uchiha. He silently took a bowl of soup and a roll, deciding that they looked like the safest choices.

He paused as he exited the line, his eyes ever so briefly flashing over to look at the table where he knew that dobe and his group always sat. Naruto was visible through the mass of bodies, holding Sachi in the crook of his arm, and Sasuke found a perverse satisfaction in the fact that the blond looked like the walking dead today. It was about time that he had problems with this parenting thing, too.

Deciding that the matter didn't require anymore of his attention, he turned and walked carefully to his usual table, which was empty and far to the back of the room, away from prying eyes and fan-girls, just how he liked it. He pulled his mathematics book from his bag and cracked it open. He didn't need to study, really. He had an excellent memory, and was actually reading a few chapters ahead of the rest of his class. It was there, much as he was loath to admit it, to make him look busy while he thought of other things.

Other, blond haired, blue-eyed things. Things that he had shared a sleeping space with, that he had woken up yesterday morning to find underneath him, blushing angrily and looking like they wanted to claw his eyes out. Things named Naruto. He cursed himself. Why could he not get the fool out of him mind? He didn't want to think of him. Certainly didn't want to feel any sort of attraction for him.

Didn't want to admit that he had dreamt about him. He blamed Itachi for that, putting that damned idea into his head in the first place, of course it was going to happen. He made a mental note to find a way to get back at his brother for that one. Now that the idea was there, it apparently was in no hurry to leave, either. He had had the dream again last night. But he could still explain it away. Dreams were nothing more than the subconscious mind trying to sort through the days events. Naruto, having suddenly become a much more constant, and annoying, presence in his life, had wormed his way into those dreams. And he _was_ a teenager, complete with the hormones that went with that particular stage of life, so dreams of such a nature were bound to happen. Naruto had simply been a convenient face to paste onto his dream lover. It was that simple.

What he couldn't figure out, or rationalize, was why when he had made the decision to come sit by himself, he felt almost...hurt when Naruto hadn't called for him to come sit at their table.

* * *

"So, are you going to tell us her name yet?" 

Naruto blinked slowly. "Huh?"

Kiba rolled his eyes, juggling his own doll while his girlfriend retrieved the jar of food and feeding spoon from their own teddy bear bag. "Kiba Junior", as the poor child was oh so inventively named, seemed to be a quiet baby that gave him parents very little trouble.

"The chick you're crushing on. Come on, I don't see why you don't bring her to introduce us. It's not like we'll bite, ya know."

Naruto puffed out his cheeks in irritation. "How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not crushing on anybody." he glared pointedly at Chouji. "Female or otherwise."

"Well, why the hell not, then? First, let's say I buy your story that you don't have a crush. Why don't you have a crush on somebody? Hell, we're in our final year of high school, and everybody else at this table has at least had a boyfriend or girlfriend if they don't have one now."

Naruto slumped down in his chair. "Sakura hasn't had a boyfriend." He said sullenly. Sakura glared at him.

"Yeah, but Sakura still at least has a crush on somebody." Kiba pointed out.

"Well...what about Chouji? He hasn't had a girlfriend, either, or a crush."

Chouji blushed and mumbled something into his potato chips. Shikamaru smirked at him. "What Chouji means to say is that he does, in fact, have a girlfriend."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "What? Who? I've never seen him with a girl! Spill, Akimichi!"

Chouji blushed a little darker. "Well...you know that ramen shop down the street?"

Naruto gave him a look that plainly translated into "duh!". Of course he knew it. He knew every ramen shop with a fifty mile radius of his house, but that one was his favorite, and they all knew it.

"Well, you know Ayame, then? Well, she...um, asked me out a few weeks ago, and we've been dating since then."

Naruto looked positively shell shocked. "Ayame? Old man Ichiraku's daughter, Ayame? That Ayame?"

Chouji nodded. "That Ayame."

"Well...damn."

Kiba smirked. "See? I was right. And what's more, I've seen girls try to flirt with you, and you totally brush them off. What gives?"

"What is this, 'psychoanalyze Naruto day'? Why was I not informed of this?"

"I'm just saying, dude. You've had the opportunity, so why haven't you ever gone for it?"

Naruto shrugged. "I'll date someone when I find someone that I want to date. I don't want to have a girlfriend simply to be able to say I've got a girlfriend."

"Hello, you've got the entire student body to pick from, here. There's gotta be at least one person you'd be interested in."

"Look, when I meet the right person, I'll date them."

"And how are you supposed to know if you've met the right person if you never date anybody at all while you're waiting for this person to just magically show up?"

Naruto shrugged again. "I'll just know."

"Sounds like a load of crap to me." Kiba muttered.

Hinata frowned at him. "I think it sounds very romantic. Naruto should follow what's in his heart."

The blond beamed at her. "Thanks, Hinata."

Hinata flushed and starting pushing her fingers together. "Um, y-you're welcome."

Sakura sat, watching her friends banter back and forth, and was suddenly struck with inspiration. She had been thinking how she owed Naruto for helping her try to win Sasuke, and she had the perfect way to repay him now. Oh, it would be perfect, she knew. Excited, she quickly ate the last few bites of her meal and excused herself from the table.

Naruto watched her go, a little puzzled. "What's the big hurry all of a sudden?"

Sachi made a strange noise which effectively distracted him. It wasn't something he'd heard from her before, somewhere between a wimper and a gurgle. Worried, he pulled her in closer to his body and inspected her, not sure what he was looking for. She shouldn't be hungry, she'd just ate, and it couldn't possibly have passed through her system already. She made the noise again, loud enough this time that the others at the table heard it. Shikamaru recognized the sound, and opened his mouth to issue a warning, but he was too late.

Sachi vomitted, rather violently, all over the front of Naruto's favorite orange shirt, and promptly began to wail her little lungs out.

* * *

Sasuke's ears perked at the sound of a baby crying. He knew that wail. 

He glanced up towards the dobe's table, and had to shake his head. There the fool sat, just staring at the doll as if she'd grown a second head, letting her cry on. He smirked to himself as, on closer inspection, he could see an off-gray sort of coloured glop splattered over the front of the blond's shirt. Ah, but it was nice to know that he wasn't the only one that had to suffer through that particular indignity. He could see that the others at the table were restraining themselves from laughing. Well, most were. Kiba seemed to find it uproariously funny.

As he watched, however, he couldn't help feel a little sorry for the twit. So, sighing to himself, he packed up his books, deposited his garbage, and made his way over to the other table. Not quite sure why exactly he was doing this and not wanting to analyze it too closely, he stopped beside his lab partner and gingerly took the crying baby from his arms.

Naruto looked up at him, confused and a just a bit clueless. "Sasuke?"

Sasuke sighed again. "Come on, dobe. I've got a spare shirt in my locker that you can borrow." He turned and walked away with the crying Sachi, not bothering to look and see if the other boy was following him. He heard footsteps pounding up the hall behind him and slowed his pace a little.

"Oi, teme! Wait up!"

Sasuke didn't acknowledge him, simply made a beeline for his locker. He could smell the nasty wet newspaper smell from the baby food on Naruto's shirt. Ew. He pulled open the door to his locker, wincing, as always, at the gastly metal screech it always made. He quickly shoved his spare shirt in Naruto's general direction.

"Here. Go change, you smell."

Naruto looked insulted, but decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and took the shirt. Deciding he couldn't be bothered with going to the bathroom to change, he simply whipped off his dirty shirt where he stood. Sasuke, turning to see why the other boy hadn't left yet, was just in time to get an eyeful. Eyes going wide, he quickly turned back around, trying not to blush (curse his pale skin) while he listened to Naruto pull on the clean shirt.

"Man, I didn't realize you were so scrawny, this shirt barely fits me."

Sasuke looked, knowing he really shouldn't, and then wished he hadn't. The shirt, while loose-fitting on himself, clung to Naruto's larger frame like a second skin. It was almost obscene how little it left to the imagination. He felt his face heat, and glared at the blond, who was entirely to blame for this.

"I'm not scrawny. You just need to lose weight." He growled, passing off his flustered reaction as irritation.

"I do not!" Naruto instant retorted. "I'm at a perfectly healthy weight for my height and frame. So there."

Sasuke snorted. "You could at least say thank you for the shirt, you know."

Naruto backed down, looking a bit sheepish. "Ne, sorry. You're right. Thanks for the shirt." He paused a moment. "Teme." He added as an afterthought. "Why did you do that, anyways?"

Sasuke looked vaguely uncomfortable. "That's what...friends do, right?"

"So...you're saying we're friends?"

"If I must."

Sachi subsided as Sasuke continued to rock her, going from a full blown wail to a small whimper. They both looked down at her, and Naruto chuckled.

"I guess this time she wanted 'Daddy'."

Sasuke started, and wondered at the idea, secretly pleased. He had been having doubts about his abilities at this parenting thing, and disliked the thought that he was bad at it. Of course, it was silly since she wasn't a real baby, but it was there all the same.

Naruto grinned at him. "So, you going to come back to the cafeteria and sit at our table this time?"

"Why should I?"

"Cuz that's where my friends sit. So, duh, that's where you should be sitting."

Sasuke mulled it over and sighed, sounding long-suffering. "Fine."

"So, can I call you 'Mr. Grumpy Gills'?"

"No."

Naruto laughed. "Didn't think so, but it was worth a shot. 'teme' it is, then."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Dobe."

Naruto put his hands behind his head and grinned, when a sudden though struck him. "Hey, Sasuke, you got a girlfriend?"

Sasuke stopped walking and eyed him suspiciously. "No...why?"

Naruto stopped beside him. "Well, I don't know. Everybody's been razzing me lately that I need to get a girlfriend, so I guess I was just wondering who else was single."

"Hn."

"So. How come you're single, then?"

"Because I feel like it."

"No, seriously. Come on."

Sasuke glared. "I haven't met the right person. How's that for an answer?"

"Oh. Well, that's good enough, I guess. But there's got to be somebody you like. Like, what about my friend Sakura? She'd probably be a great girlfriend."

"The one with the pink hair?"

"Yeah, her. She's awesome, you know."

"So why don't _you_ date her?"

"Nah. She's my best friend. It'd be too wierd, you know?"

"Hn."

"Well it was just a thought."

"Don't strain yourself." Sasuke muttered. Naruto retorted by sticking out his tongue at him.

"Naruto!"

They both turned around, and speak of the devil, there she was. Sakura was running towards them, looking excited. Sasuke immediately decided that nothing good could come from this. She came flying at Naruto and flung her arms around him, and he easily caught her, as if he did it everyday.

"Oh, you'll never guess what I did, it's so great! You'll see...what the hell are you wearing?" She blinked at him, finally noticing his change in attire.

Naruto laughed, looking a little embarrassed. "Well, Sachi kind of threw up all over me, so I had to change my shirt."

"So you're wearing Sasuke's shirt?"

Both boys looked at her. "How did you know it was his?" Naruto asked, confused.

"Because there's a little Uchiha family crest sewn onto the back of the collar." She told him dryly, tugging on the collar to emphasise her point. "Er...Sasuke-kun, are you alright?"

He didn't register her speaking. All of his attention was currently zeroed in on the little red and white fan on Naruto's back. Oh shit, shit, _shit_. Why hadn't he realized that? Why hadn't he remembered Itachi's love for having the symbol embroidered onto damn near every last piece of clothing either of them owned? Why, oh why, oh why, had he given Naruto that damned shirt? With his symbol on it. Naruto was wearing his symbol. And he couldn't exactly take the shirt back without making a scene. Kakashi was going to have a field day with this. Uzumaki Naruto, walking around wearing the Uchiha symbol. It was as good as staking a claim could get to some people.

He was so screwed.

"I found the perfect girl for you, I just know it!" Sakura's voice broke through his train of thought.

"Naruto, you just have to meet her! She just transfered here a few weeks ago, and I know you'll like her. She's totally perfect for you! Honestly! Say you'll come meet her? Please? Naruto, you'd make the cutest couple!"

Naruto looked bemused. " Alright, alright, Sakura! I'll come meet her, if you say she's so great. What's the big deal for?"

Sakura beamed and kissed him on the cheek. "You'll see. Now, wear that nice blue shirt I bought you for your birthday tomorrow, you have a date with her at eight at the movies. 'kay?"

Naruto stood there, dumbfounded while she bid them both a good afternoon and skipped off.

"What the...wait! SAKURA!"

Sasuke felt like he'd been pole-axed.

What the hell had just happened?

* * *

_Naruto, day 13: I feel kinda guilty now for laughing at Sasuke after his first night of looking after Sachi. If his night was anything like what I had to go through last night, then I feel sorry for the poor guy. I guess, she's sick, if that's possible. I tried to look it up, and as far as I can tell, it's colic. Really, I've never felt quite so helpless as when I had to sit up all night with a crying baby and couldn't do anything to make her feel better. it made me feel sort of like I was failing a test of some kind because I didn't know what to do. By the way, while I knew that she could spit up, I don't remember the manual saying anything about "projectile vomit". You wouldn't have been tampering with our dolls, would you, Kakashi-sensei?

* * *

_

* * *


	15. Like A Prayer

_Wow...I sure do suck at keeping to a schedule, don't I? -sweatdrop-_

_Sorry that it's been so long. Once again, I'll be putting alot of blame onto work, and a good dose of writer's block. I've had this chapter half done for forever, and have tried at least five times to finish it. I just couldn't figure out how I wanted it to end. So, to try and make up for it a little bit, this is the longest chapter I've written yet, by a good amount. And for all of us happy yaoi fangirls, I am happy to announce that we are officially starting into the definite "sasunaru" vibes. yay!_

_And hot damn, we're pushing the very big milestone of 1000 reviews!! You guys are so awesome, and while I can't reply to everybody, I do want to say that I absolutely read every review, consider peoples suggestions, and appreciate all the feedback you guys send me. It's because of you all that this story has improved so much since the first chapter, so a very big thank you to you all!_

_PS: I'm running on about three hours of sleep, a nine hour shift on what was supposed to be my day off, and a little over two glasses of wine. I tried to proof-read it, but I rather suspect that there are still some grammar and spelling errors that escaped me. Forgive me for those, I'll try and catch them later. I just thought that you guys would rather have the chapter as soon as I can post it. XD  
_

_Maybe I really should get a beta. haha._

_ENJOY!_

* * *

**Chapter 15: Like A Prayer**

* * *

When you call my name its like a little prayer  
Im down on my knees, I wanna take you there  
In the midnight hour I can feel your power  
Just like a prayer you know Ill take you there

* * *

_Naruto, Day 14:I wonder, is it normal to get attached to the doll? Is it supposed to be like that, or are we just supposed to leave it be as a doll and nothing more? I mean, I know she's a doll and not a real baby, but I can't help but feel like she's something special, like I'd miss her when this is over. I talked to a few others doing this project, and got mixed answers. Some agree with me, and told me they feel the same, and some seem so totally indifferent to their doll, treating it like it's nothing but a piece of plastic. Sachi's not just plastic to me anymore, though, and I don't understand how they can be like that. does that make me sound like a chick? I don't know. Am I wrong? are they wrong? Is either approach right at all? _

* * *

It would be justifiable homicide. It would, really. There wasn't a jury in the world that would convict him. Itachi might kill him, though, if he killed off his little brother. Damned Uchihas anyways.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Demanded one seriously pissed off Umino Iruka.

Kakashi sighed and resisted the urge to thump his head against his work desk. He really was going to kill that kid. "Have I done something wrong, Iruka-sensei?" he asked, trying to look indiferent.

"I got your 'gift', asshole. What the hell is it you're trying to do, Hatake?" Iruka spat at him, face flushed from rage. "Handcuffs? You left a gift box with _handcuffs_ sitting on my desk?"

Kakashi's eyes widened at that. "Fuck. Iruka, listen, I can explain..."

Iruka's eyes flashed. "That's Umino to _you. _And you listen. I don't know what you suddenly have against me, but this stops now, do you hear me? I have made it a point as much as possible to keep my personal life private. It is no concern of the school's, my students, or yours what my...preferences may be. I have spent years building a good, solid reputation and I will be damned if I'm going to let you ruin it with this sick game you're playing."

"Iruka, dammit, listen, I'm trying to tell you, it wasn't me..."

"Bullshit. You're the only other person that works here that knows. And it's Umino to you. We may have been friends back in university, but you can go take a flying leap for all I care right now."

Kakashi clenched his fists. "It was a prank! By a student. Would you listen to me for a minute?"

"A prank. All those 'gifts', sent by a student. And signed by you, in your handwriting. You seriously expect me to believe that?"

"I hardly believe it, but it's the truth. Honestly."

Iruka glared at him. "A prank. Why would one of the student think up a prank like _that_? That's so specific. Are you telling me now that you've actually be telling your students..."

"No! I haven't told anyone. What's your business is your business."

"Then how, Hatake? Explain it to me, because I'm having trouble understanding."

"I don't know." Kakashi told him, feeling like an ass. At least Iruka looks slightly less angry.

"If I find out you're lying to me..."

"I'm not. I swear." Strange, lightning should have struck him for that one.

"It's a prank."

"Yes."

"And you know who's doing it?"

"Yes."

"Then I suggest you stop them. Immediately."

Kakashi squelched the mental image of himself wringing Sasuke's neck. "I plan to."

Iruka glared at him a moment longer, opened his mouth as if to say something, then apparently thought better of it and turned to storm back out the classroom door. Kakashi watched him go, thinking that there wasn't nearly enough caffiene in his blood stream to be dealing with this first thing in the morning. He put his head down on the desk, thumping his forehead against the wood a few times for good measure.

"Um...Kakashi-sensei?"

He turned his head to see who was talking to him, though he had already recognized the voice.

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Did you need something?"

"Oh, um yeah. I needed to ask you something about the project."

Kakashi listened to the boy speak, and while he didn't let it show on his face, in his mind he was grinning gleefully. Oh, yes, this was perfect. _Payback's a bitch, Sasuke._

* * *

Sometimes she was just so damned brilliant, it scared her. Alright, admittedly, it seemed like a strange plan at first, but there was a method to her madness, honestly. Yes, they had been in the middle of a conversation about how Naruto didn't even want to get a girlfriend right now, and then she had promptly run off and set him up on a blind date.

But the more she thought about it, the more perfect it was. Naruto had for too long now been brushing off the dating scene, and really, it was time he got out and lived a little. Protesting or not, it would be good for him, she was sure. Second, she just knew Naruto was going to fall for this girl. She was so perfect for him, Sakura didn't think there could be anybody else for her best friend after meeting her. The idea of setting them up had been floating around in the back of her mind for a little while, so it wasn't _that _rash of a decision. But if Naruto was forever stuck in this mindset of being against dating forever and ever until some miracle came along and dropped his dream girl into his lap, then he wasn't ever going to see possibilities right in front of him. So, for his own good and future happiness, she went ahead and set them up anyways.

God, but they were going to be the cutest couple.

And just think, she told herself. When she finally started dating Sasuke, they could go on double dates and such. She could still hang out with her best friend without anyone being the third wheel. She sighed dreamily, thinking about dates with Sasuke. They could go to the carnival, the theatre, that icecream shop that sells that frozen yoghurt she likes. She'd get a little bit of yoghurt on the side of her mouth, and Sasuke would give her that drop-dead sexy smirk that he was _so _good at and lick it off for her...

The bell for the end of class period snapped her out of her day dream. _Just when it was getting good, too._ Oh well. She quickly packed up her things and made a bee-line for the door. Speaking of Sasuke, she wondered if Naruto would manage to get him to sit with them at lunch again today. He always sat near Naruto, which meant he always sat near her as well. Oh, but it was all she could do to remember how to chew when he was right there beside her.

She saw a familiar shirt pass by out of the corner of her eye, and turned. Yes, it was him! She put on her best smile.

"Sasuke-kun!"

He paused and his shoulders tensed as he turned to see which girl was trying to get his attention now. Irrational anger surged through him at the sight of her and her...her...pinkness, but he curbed it and forced himself to relax. "What do you want, Sakura?"

"I, um, was just wondering if you were going to sit with us again today. I made some cookies last night and brought some for everyone at lunch. So, um, I just wanted to make sure to save you one. If you want one, that is. You don't have to, but they're really good." She forcibly clicked her teeth shut to stop the rambling nonsense. How did he manage to turn her into such a babbling fool?

"I don't like sweets." He told her calmly, inwardly rolling his eyes.

"Oh." She deflated, looking thoroughly dissapointed. He mentally looked skyward, asking _why me?_ He sighed.

"But...I'll try one." He offered grudgingly. It wasn't her fault, he kept telling himself. She didn't know, she couldn't have known. And really, he should thank her, right? Naruto would have his new girlfriend, and all of this would be put behind them and forgotten. Yes. That was exactly what he wanted. So, in gratitude, he would eat a cookie.

She beamed at him, thrilled. "I promise, Sasuke-kun, it'll be the best cookie you've ever had!" She proclaimed, then giggled to herself and waved goodbye as she went to her next class.

Sasuke wondered what it was he really had just agreed to, because she seemed way too happy to have him eat a stupid cookie. He was suddenly very glad that he was gay; girls were such a pain in the ass.

"I won't let you win, Uchiha!"

He blinked back to reality, and promptly wished he hadn't bothered. It was the Gai-sensei clone. What was his name again? And what the hell was he winning? He didn't need this this morning, he really didn't.

"Win what?"

"Sakura's heart, of course! You may have the advantage, but I will perservere! You'll see, and then it will be me who she smiles at!" Lee announced. Very loudly.

Sasuke just raised a brow at him. "I'm not trying to win any such thing."

"Ha ha! You cannot fool Rock Lee! I have seen the way she looks at you, but I promise, my heart shall prove stronger and she will return my love!"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and concluding that his day had now, offically, gone to hell in a handbasket. "Lee, was it?" He grabbed the other boy by the arm, making him squawk in indignation. "Let's go talk." He dragged Lee towards the library.

They quickly went by a scandalized looking librarian as he dragged him to the far back, where he was sure no one else would be. While he wouldn't be telling anything but the truth, he didn't need the whole school to hear it.

"Unhand me this instant, you...you..."

"Lee. Shut the hell up and listen to me, because I'm only telling you this once. I don't want Sakura's heart. At all. I'm not remotely interested in her. If you ever come yelling such nonsense through the halls again where everybody and their grandmother can hear you, I will break your teeth. Do you understand me?"

Lee paled under the intimidating glare and shrank back a bit. "You...don't want Sakura's heart?"

"No. I don't."

"But...but why then is she so obviously attempting to win your attention? Hmm? Tell me that, then."

"If I knew what I was doing to make her and the rest of the female population behave like that, I'd stop it, I assure you."

Lee pondered this for a moment, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "So then you will not oppose me?"

Sasuke felt his eye twitch. "No."

Lee fists went up in victory. "Yosh! In that case, I have a favor to ask of you! Teach me how to win Sakura's heart!"

What. The. Fuck. "...What?"

"Yes! Teach me how to become more like you, Uchiha, so that I may see Sakura's lovely smile directed at me!"

"I can't teach you that."

"Of course you can!"

"No, Lee, I really can't. I wouldn't know how to teach you to act like me, first of all, and truly, I wouldn't want you to act like me. That'd just be creepy, and you're wierd enough with the Gai-clone thing."

"I...but...what are you saying, then?"

How the hell did he get into this? Somebody up there hated him. "Lee, just...be yourself. Stop acting like other people, and just be...you. Sakura certainly doesn't love Gai-sensei, so acting like him will get you nowhere. Really, do you want her to like a fake persona, or your real self?"

Lee stared at him with wide eyes. "Really? Is that what everyone really thinks of me? I hadn't realized...but, yes, you are right! I must show the lovely Sakura my true self, maybe then she will see me with love in her eyes! Yosh! Thank you, Uchiha Sasuke, you are a good friend!" And with that he sprinted from the room, announcing his new mission to the entire student body.

Sasuke stared after him, shaking his head. God, when had he become so...nice? Ick. He'd have to be more careful, his Uchiha was slipping.

* * *

Naruto sat with his back against the wall in the hallway, his backpack on the floor beside him and Sachi nestled into the crook of his arm, crying softly. He sighed and looked down at her with tired eyes.

"I really wish you'd stop these crying fits, you know. Sure, there's some medicine stuff I can give a baby for colic, but you're not a real baby, so I'm pretty sure I can't give you any of that. So can we just, like, call it even? Please?"

Sachi stared up at him with her bright blue eyes and whimpered.

"Well, close enough. Now, can we work on an agreement where you stop getting me kicked out of class? Because that would be awesome. No? Was worth a shot, at least." He grinned at himself, sitting in the empty hall, talking to a doll. His head lolled back against the wall and he closed his eyes.

"Did I tell you yet what your Aunt did to me, Sachi? She went and set me up on a date. A blind date, at that. And I mean, come on, you've heard me say it before that I don't want to date anybody. And the way she said it at first, I thought she really just wanted me to meet the new girl, and then she drops that bombshell on me. Can you believe that?"

Sachi whimpered a little cry.

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I said. And now of course, since she tricked me into saying yes, she knows I can't back out, so I'm doomed to go. I have no idea who this chick is she set me up with, and between you and me, I am nervous as all hell. I mean, what if this proves ero-sennin right? Or worse, what if I turn into him and become all girl-crazy. I don't want to turn into a pervert, Sachi. What am I gonna do?"

Sachi simply lay quietly, minding her own business.

"Yeah, I know that. I already asked Kakashi, remember? He said it was ok. Hell, I'm pretty sure he was snickering at me for even asking. Then again, that could still just be from yesterday. Dude, I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head when me and Sasuke got to class. I know the teme's shirt didn't fit me that well, but it can't have been _that_ funny. Oh yeah, remind me to give that back to him at class today, ok?"

Naruto smiled down at the baby on his lap. "You know what? For all the sleep I've lost over you in the past two weeks, I have to say, you're an okay kid. Tell you what, when I have kids of my own, if I have a girl, I'll name her 'Sachi' after you, ok? Oh, and don't tell him I said this, but you really should stop being so hard on your 'father', you know. He's kind of clueless with kids, sure, but at least he's trying, so cut the guy a break, ne?"

A shadow fell across the floor directly infront of him, and Naruto followed it upwards until he met the khol-rimmed eyes of one, dare he say it, amused Gaara. Gaara raised a brow at him, apparently questioning him without actually speaking.

Naruto simple looked back with a bland expression and raised his eyebrow right back. "Do you mind? I was _talking _to my doll, thank you."

Gaara snorted softly. "Really now. Does it talk back?"

"Yes. She says to go away."

"You're a very odd person, Uzumaki."

"Ha. Look who's talking, no-brows." Naruto shot back, then immediately realized who it was he had been talking back to, here. His jaw ached just remembering that punch, and he flinched on reflex. He didn't want a new bruise, he had a date tonight.

His blue eyes shot open when he heard fabric slide against the wall beside him, followed by the soft thump of weight against the floor. He looked to his left, and there Gaara sat, leaning against the wall with him.

"Um, I don't want to push my luck here, but what are you doing?"

"Class was boring, so I left."

"Ok...I think. Why are you sitting in the hall with me, then?"

"You interest me."

"Thanks? I think. Um, yeah, ok. Mind if I ask why?"

"There are very few willing to face me as you do. It's an interesting quality."

"You tried to knock out my teeth the other day. I didn't really think we were buddies or anything here."

"You knocked me down. That cut will scar. It seems fair."

Naruto opened his mouth to retort, but found he had no good answer to that, so shut it again with a click of his teeth. The three of them sat in silence, until Naruto couldn't stand it anymore and simply had to start talking.

"How's your project doing?"

"Fine." Gaara answered, staring out the window across from them.

Oh, this was going to be a fun conversation. "Hey, have you had any problems with the baby getting sick? I think Sachi has colic or something, she cries and cries all the time."

Green eyes flicked to the baby, who was laying quietly. "No. The doll functions with no problems."

Something about that statement rankled Naruto. It was so impersonal. Alright, so Sachi wasn't a real baby. She was an imitation made of plastic and electronics that never moved and was only capable of computerized noises. But over the past two weeks, he had to admit, he'd gotten kind of attatched to her. She wasn't just a doll anymore, she was Sachi.

"Oh...alright. So, what was the reason this little visit, anyways? Are you done?"

Gaara looked at him briefly. "You're angry." he stated calmly. "Why?"

"I'm not angry." Naruto huffed.

"Fine."

"How can you talk about it as if it's just a doll? Aren't you maybe just the littlest bit attatched to it? You're supposed to act like it's your own child."

"It is just a doll. It is nothing more than a doll. And there would be no point in forming an attachment since we have to return them in another two weeks."

"Yeah, but..."

"What do you think of the Uchiha?"

Naruto puffed his cheeks out in irritation. Not only was he being cut off, but once again, someone was asking him about the teme. It was becoming extremely annoying.

"The bastard? What about him?"

"I asked what you think of him."

"Why?"

"Just answer the question, Uzumaki."

"Fine. I think he's a bastard."

"Yes, so I gathered."

"Look, what do you want to know? Two weeks ago, we couldn't stand each other. Now? Now, I've seen him dyed green, covered in glitter and wearing bunny slippers. I've borrowed clothes off him, got in a food fight with him, dragged him to sit at my lunch table and am possibly the only person who could call him 'Mr. Grumpy Gills' and not be killed on the spot for it. Does that tell you anything?"

Gaara turned to stare at him for a full minute before he shook his head and looked away, smirking. "That will suffice."

"Good. Now you answer some questions. Why do I keep getting people bugging me about him? Hyuuga, you, Itachi, even Kakashi-sensei all seem to be in on something where I'm the only one that doesn't know what's going on. So what business is it of yours?"

"I am merely playing my part."

"Part in what? This isn't a play, dammit."

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players."

"Don't you go all Shakespeare on me. Answer the question."

Gaara pushed himself up from the floor and stood facing the window. "Do you believe in destiny, Naruto?"

Naruto froze. Gaara _never _called him by his first name. Never called anybody by their first name, as far as he knew.

"Uh, I guess so."

"Every person has things in life they are meant to do. Sometimes, they simply need a push in the right direction."

"That's nice. What's it go to do with this?"

"That is something for you to decide. I suggest you get up, you'll be trampled when the bell rings."

"What are you talking about, class just started ten minutes..." He was cut off by the bell, and instantly scrambled to his feet as the doors along the hall opened up and bodies began pouring out. He looked back, frowning and irritated, but realized that Gaara was already gone.

* * *

"Could you at least pretend to do your work, dobe?" Sasuke grumbled. He was spawled on his bed, laying on his stomach and propped over his books with his elbows, scowling as he watched his partner check the clock on the bedside table for the tenth time in as many minutes.

Naruto looked up at him from his seat on the floor and grinned sheepishly, his right hand coming up to scratch at the back of his head in what Sasuke now recognized as a nervous habit. "I am doing my work, teme. I just don't want to be late for tonight. Sakura would kill me, you know."

Sasuke huffed impatiently and glared down at his text book. He hated the fact that Naruto was here again for the weekend. Hated that he was going to have to most likely do all the work for this assignment while Naruto went out on his _date_ tonight. Hated that he was most likely going to have to spend the weekend hearing all about this wonderful girl that Sakura had found. Hated that he hated it, because that meant he _cared _whether Naruto liked this girl or not.

He blew a strand of his bangs out of his face and turned his glare on the cause of his irritation, wondering why he bothered. This proved now, if nothing else, that Naruto was not interested in _that_. And that was a good thing. A very good thing. Because now that he knew this, it would be that much easier to process through all these foolish, hormone driven impulses, get over it, and move on. He didn't need this nonsense in his life, and he'd be much better off when it was gone.

Naruto anxiously checked the time again, and Sasuke barely restrained a growl. "Oh, for pity's sake, if you not going to be able to work, then go do something else." He snapped.

Naruto blinked up at him. "Um, yeah, maybe you're right." He eyed the clock, then looked back at Sasuke nervously. "Maybe I should be going."

He stood, placed the sleeping Sachi on the bed beside Sasuke and then straightened out his clothes. He had made Sasuke wait a good half hour at his house while he tried on different outfits until Sasuke had lost his patience and told him to stop being such a damned female and just wear whatever. So now he stood wearing his jeans, an orange tshirt because he needed to have orange on him somewhere, and a blue button-down shirt that Tsunade had bought him because she insisted it matched his eyes.

He ran his fingers through his hair, effectively tousling it, and resisted the urge to go check his appearance in the bathroom mirror. He looked down to inspect himself, then over at Sasuke.

"So, how do I look?" He asked, feeling a little sheepish since Sasuke looked more than a little fed up with him.

Sasuke glanced his way, then back at his open workbook, trying his best to look bored and like he hadn't been watching the other boy. And certainly hadnly been ogling him. Uchiha's don't ogle. "You look fine, but I think you got some lipstick on your teeth."

Naruto stuck his tongue out at him. "Piss off. I bet you spend hours styling your hair into that imitation of a duck's ass."

"My hair does this naturally."

"Yeah, sure it does. Everybody's hair just grows horizontally like that."

"Better than going around with a fake tan all year."

"Hey! My skin is this colour naturally...oh. Alright, fine, shut up bastard, you win."

Sasuke was glad that Naruto was digging something out of his overnight bag and couldn't see what he was sure was a thoroughly undignified expression on his face. Dumbstruck is what it would most likely be called, as his mind readily supplied images of Naruto's natural tan. He mentally slapped himself and shook his head. He was not thinking of this, he reminded himself sternly.

The door click open and Itachi's head poked through the opening. "Come along, Naruto. It wouldn't do for you to be late, now would it?"

Naruto nodded his agreement and looked back at Sasuke. "So...yeah. I'll see you later, then. Wish me luck."

Oh, he wished him luck alright. In fact, he was feverently hoping that this would work, and he could use it as a more effective weapon to beat down his hormones with. He was getting more than a little frustrated that his own mind was even betraying his wishes now. He waved him off, pretending not to pay any real attention. Especially not to the look his brother was giving him.

This was all for the best, he was sure of it. It had to be.

Itachi closed the door behind him with a soft click and sighed as he watched the blond hurry ahead of him. He shook his head and sighed again.

"Foolish little brother."

* * *

Naruto fidgetted nervously in the passenger seat as they drove to the theatre. Itachi drove in silence, which was something Naruto hated, but he wasn't willing to break it right now. Unfortunately, this left him with only his own thoughts to listen to, which was only compounding his nervousness. He really didn't know what he thought of all this. But he had the oddest feeling that something important was going to happen tonight.

"Um, thanks for the drive, Itachi." He tried.

"You're welcome." came the curt reply.

Conversation was not one of Itachi's strong points, apparently.

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you driving me there? I don't want to be taking you out of your way just for this..."

"And if I do mind?" Itachi glanced over at him, one elegant black brow raised in query.

"Ah...well, nevermind, then. Sorry I asked, it wasn't my business." Naruto laughed self-consciously. Itachi was kind of scary, sometimes.

"If you must know," Itachi smirked, amused. "I have a date myself at the same theatre."

Naruto was terrible at hiding his thoughts, and his surprise showed clearly on his face. "Oh." He wondered why he'd never thought of that possibility. Itachi and Sasuke seemed so alike in so many ways, that for some reason it hadn't registered that while Sasuke was single, Itachi was not. He found himself wondering what kind of woman Itachi would be interested in. Would Sasuke have the same tastes?

He did, after all, promise Sakura his help in "landing" Sasuke. He wasn't about to go back on his word, that was for sure, because he never, ever went back on a promise. But the more he got to know the other boy, and the more he started to view him as a friend, the more uncomfortable he felt about his deal with his best friend. He squirmed in his seat, mulling it over as he watched the lighted storefronts pass by.

The car eventually came to a stop, and all of his nervousness suddenly doubled. This was it. His first date. He gulped.

"Do you still have the number I gave you?" Itachi asked into the quiet.

Naruto blinked at him. "Uh, yeah."

"Good. Call when you're finished if you want me to pick you up."

Naruto just blinked again. "Uh...yeah." he felt a bit like a broken record.

He got out of the car and watched Itachi peel away with regret. He had kind of had the vague hope that Itachi and his date would be going to the same movie and Naruto and Sakura's mystery girl. Okay, Itachi definitely wasn't buddy material, but at least he'd have _someone_ that he knew around. He looked around, trying to spot the person he was supposed to be meeting, then mentally slapped himself when he realized that he had no idea who he was looking for. There were dozens of girls around, she could be any one of them.

Crap, why, oh why had he agreed to this? He suddenly wanted to leave, to call Itachi and make him drive him back to the Uchiha house, or better yet, to his own house. He wasn't a coward by any means, but damned if he wasn't tempted to chicken out just this once.

"you must be Naruto."

Naruto spun around at the feminine voice. He had no idea what he'd been expecting, but really, this wasn't what he'd pictured. Not that that was a bad thing, mind you. She was definitely cute. Long, reddish brown hair worn with a small topknot. Honey brown eyes; a mouth that looked like it smiled easily. Slim, cute purple sun-dress. Nice legs. She giggled and his eyes shot back up to hers, feeling himself blush in embarassment while she simply looked amused.

"You _are _Naruto, right? I'd be kind of dissapointed if you're not."

His face felt a little hotter. "Oh, um, yeah. Sorry. Uzumaki Naruto. Nice to meet you."

She smiled at him. "Fuuma Sasame, and likewise."

Not knowing what else to say, Naruto found he couldn't say anything. They simply stood there and stared at each other, neither looking sure of what the next step was supposed to be.

"So..." She cleared her throat. "This is awkward."

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah."

"you look exactly how Sakura described."

"Oh? She's been talking about me, has she?"

"Yes, alot. She's told me all about you, actually."

"Lies, all lies." Naruto grinned, and she laughed. "I guess we should, um, go get our tickets, ne?"

Sasame nodded. "I think that sounds like a good idea."

* * *

They didn't stay in the theatre for long. About half way through the movie, Sasame had leaned over and stage-whispered to him.  
"This is really, truely awful movie."

And he had laughed. Becaue it really, truely _was_ a god-awful movie. The acting was terrible, the special effects and props were laughable, and the story was mind-numbingly stupid and predictable.

So they left. They giggled like they were kids getting away with something as they snuck by the ticket booth and away into the cool evening air.

"So, where should we go, then?" Naruto asked.

She shrugged. "I don't really know. Let's just walk around for a little bit, and see where it takes us."

They walked. They talked. After the initial awkwardness had started to wear off, they found they actually had alot to talk about, and covered topics from school work, to future career plans, to friends they had in common, music interests and more. Within an hour, he knew that she came from up north, where a large portion of her family still lived in small town, the majority of them carrying on the family business and traditions as rice farmers. She did well in school and her favorite subject was math. She planned one day to be a plant biologist and focus on developing new strains of rice to help her family. She played the flute and loved classical music.

She thought he was funny. He told her stories of his pranks, of his adventures growing up with Sakura, of his possibly deranged teachers and they're crazy projects. How he liked all kinds of music, but was especially fond of jazz. His favorite subject was art, though he could barely draw a stick man. When he told her that he had been inspired once by a kind teacher when he was a kid, and how it had made him decide that he wanted to be a teacher, she smiled.

"Do you mean a different Iruka-sensei? Because one of my teachers at school is called Umino Iruka."

Naruto grinned over at her. They sat on the edge of a fountain, infront of a large hotel that had been a few blocks away from their movie. The water splashed in the background, making noise for them when they weren't still sure what to say. "Nope, it's the same one. I didn't like school when I was a kid, so I skipped out alot and had to go to summer school if I wanted to pass to the next grade. I didn't want to go, but Tsunade would have beaten me senseless if I'd actually been held back. He was one of the teachers that was doing the summer programs, and the poor guy got stuck with me."

Sasame laughed. "Well, I don't know about that, but he obviously made quite an impression on you."

He nodded. "I owe him, actually, he helped me out alot."

She leaned back on her arms and swung her feet slightly. "So, what do we do now? I have to admit, I've never gone on a blind date before."

"Well, I have to tell you, neither have I. Which means I have no idea what to do either."

She looked up at the sky, avoiding looking at him. "But I'm glad I came on this one."

He blushed and looked at his toes. "Yeah, I'm glad I did, too."

She snuck a glance at him. "And, um, I wouldn't mind doing this again some time."

He was sure he was going red as a tomato. "That...would be nice."

She smiled. "Good." and while she was still feeling brave, she leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Well, it was meant to be on the cheek. But he saw the movement towards him, and looked to see what she was doing. So in one sense, she missed. And in another, she was right on target.

They jumped apart like they'd been scalded, and both promptly blushed deeply and cleared their throats, looking anywhere but at each other.

A good five minutes passed in total silence while they both tried to think of what to say. Naruto snuck a glance at her, and finally decided, _to hell with it._ In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

So this time, he kissed her. And once she got over her initial shock, she kissed him back.

And he realized that _this _was it. This was what the big, important moment was going to be. That indefinable something that was always just beyond his reach suddenly felt like it was right there in front of him, plain as day. What did it mean? He had to know.

He broke the kiss, allowing just that fraction of a space between their lips for a moment. He was sure it hadn't lasted more than a few seconds, but it felt so much longer.

"Sas..."

He froze.

And he knew.

He sat back and smiled at her, feeling awkward at his own boldness. She blinked at him and blushed prettily.

"Um...that was...that was...why did you do that?"

He self-consciously brought his hand up to scratch at the back of his head. "Well, um, the first one was kind of an accident, so I figured it didn't really count."

"Oh." She looked bemused.

"We should probably get going."

She glanced at her watch. "Yeah, you're right. My dad said to be home by eleven, and it's ten thiry now."

He nodded. "Well, let's get walking, then."

* * *

_Sasuke, Day 14: Two weeks in, and half way done this project. Naruto asked me a strange question today, about whether or not I was emotionally attached to Sachi. I didn't answer him, and I've been thinking about it since then. Should I be attatched to the doll? Should I not? I know we're to treat them as our own children, but really, I know, and you know, and everybody else knows that it's just a doll. Though on further reflection, I realized that I couldn't completely say that no, I had no attachment at all. So what does that mean for me? What am I supposed to do about it, if anything? She's still just a doll, after all, and we'll have to return her in another two weeks. So really, where's the sense in forming an attachment? I suspect the answer to such a question could be immensely helpful in many, many ways._

* * *


	16. Hanging by a Moment

_Wow, you guys must be ready to totally lynch me by now, huh? :nervous laugh: Well, I can't blame you. Once again, I've been a terrible liar and am so far overdue on this installment that I'm sure you must have been thinking that I'd given it up for good. I have a whole list of reasons why I haven't been writing, but I won't make excuses. What it boils down to, ultimately, is that real life takes priority in these things. I beg your forgiveness, and hope that this next chapter will help make up for it. Yes, this is **the** chapter, so I hope you will enjoy it. Little less on the humour, slightly more on the angst, but I hope it works out._

_As an additional note, this story has now passed **1000** reviews. I cannot begin to tell you how amazed I am that this has become so widespread and enjoyed by so many people. To each and every person that has left me a comment, I thank you. Reviews have been what motivates me to get back into the story, and I can only hope that you will have the patience to stay with me until the end._

_And so, please enjoy Chapter 16! :D  
_

**

* * *

Chapter 16: Hanging by a Moment**

* * *

I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
I don't know what I'm diving into  
just hanging by a moment here with you

_

* * *

Sasuke, Day 15: Our assignment today was to complete a will that would dictate who would receive custody of Sachi, and what kind of provisions we wanted to leave for her. I cannot honestly say that this wasn't at least a little disturbing. Contemplating one's own mortality is not particularly pleasant, especially when writing out what my wishes are to be upon my death. As I'm sure you know, I have my own personal experience with such matters, and I'm sure that does nothing for my comfort level. If I must think of Sachi in terms of being a true child of my own, then I know that I would never wish for her to ever have to experience such a thing. But I can control fate no more than I can the wind, and must face that I may not get a say in the matter. Should the worst come to pass, I can only hope that the people I choose to trust with something so precious would be able to be what she needs._

* * *

The phone rang.

He listened through his end of the receiver as it rang and rang. The answering machine picked up after the fourth ring and he heard the curt "leave a message at the beep", so he promptly hung up and hit redial.

On the third ring, it was finally pick up and a gruff, very cranky sounding voice grumbled at him menacingly over the line.

"This had better be a really hot chick, or I'm hanging up."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "No such luck, you old pervert. There aren't any hot chicks that call you, anyways."

There was silence for a full minute. "Oh. It's you. In that case, I'm hanging up now, and turning off the ringer. Bye!"

"Ah, wait! Don't hang up on me!"

He heard the sigh. "What the hell do you want at three in the morning, you damned brat?"

"It's not three in the morning." Naruto grouched. "it's four."

"Same question. This had better be good, or I'm gonna kick your ass next time I see you."

"Ha! No you won't. I got something you want, and you're gonna help me or else you won't get it."

"Psh. What could you possibly have that I would want?"

The blond grinned victoriously. "I got you a promise from Tsunade to go on a date with you."

"You're full of shit."

"Nope, no lies. She roped me into babysitting, and it was part of the deal. Plus, it makes great blackmail material."

"She actually agreed to that?"

"Yup."

"Really?" Was that glee? It sounded like glee.

"Yup."

through his end of the phone he heard a distant "woohoo!", which he could clearly imagine being followed by a victory dance. Jiraiya was definitely a victory dance kind of guy.

"Alright. In that case, I've decided to let you live even though you called and woke me up at three in the morning."

"It's four in the morning, and I know you weren't sleeping anyways. You're always up all night writing those trashy novels."

"Hey, that's 'best selling trashy novels' to you, brat!"

Naruto snorted.

"So, what do you want so bad to call me at such an hour and tempt me with dates with your hot mother?"

Naruto glanced around the dark room he'd hidden away in. He'd closed himself into a small study with the cordless phone, not daring to turn on a light. Sachi lay sleeping in his lap, brought along in case she woke up and in return woke up someone else in the household. Like her "father". Who would be bound to wonder where his partner was at such an hour, and said partner was just not inclined in the least to answer any questions right now.

"I needed to talk to somebody, and you were the best option, all things considered."

"I'm touched." Jiraiya drawled sarcastically.

"I went on a date tonight."

That certainly had his attention. "Woah, wait, what? You? Went on a date?...you? With who?"

Naruto squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. "With this girl that Sakura set me up on a blind date with."

"Was she hot?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes. She was pretty cute."

"Did the date go well?"

"Yes."

"Did you score?"

"No! Geez, you damned perv. It wasn't like that."

"So what was it like, then? Did anything interesting happen at all?"

"I well..." He felt his face heat with a blush. "I kissed her."

"Hey, that's my boy!"

"I'm not related to you."

"Semantics. So, how was it?"

"Oi!"

"Hey, don't get all uppity with me. You must have called me for a reason, and it can't have just been to tell me you were sucking face with some teeny-bopper friend of Pinky's."

"I'm starting wonder why I called you at all."

"Because you're having some mental crisis, again I might add, and since you've lived next door to me since you were a toddler and I've damned near raised you myself with all the babysitting over the years, that makes me about the closest thing to a father figure you got going. Now either spill and let's get this over with, or I'm going to hang up on you and go back to watching porn."

"I just don't know what to do!" Naruto blurted.

"About what? The chick? Listen, kiddo, we had that talk years ago, if you don't know what to do by now, well hell, I got plenty of movies you can watch...."

"That's not what I meant! Dirty old man, geez."

"Then spell it out." Jiraiya demanded, though Naruto knew that they both knew what this was about.

"Fuck....fine. You remember that talk we had last Christmas?"

"Sure. So you're telling me that that's what this is all about? Hell, brat, I thought you'd figured this all out by now."

"Well....I did. Sort of. But now..."

"Uh huh. Look, you like this chick, right?"

"Yeah."

"You're thinking maybe it's time to get yourself a girlfriend?"

"Maybe..."

"Then you'd better deal with your issues pretty damned quick and figure yourself out before things go haywire. Chicks hate guys that can't make up their minds."

"But it's not that simple! You don't understand, there's so many things that could go wrong here, it's not even funny!"

"All things work out in the end, kiddo. You do what you need to do to be true to you, and the rest will work itself out."

"What, is this one of those 'with age comes wisdom' thing?"

"Yes, brat. Now solve your damned problems yourself, I have porn to watch." And with that, the line went dead.

Naruto quietly replaced the phone in it's holder, shaking his head.

"He's makes it sound easy." He told Sachi, rocking her gently. "When he knows as well as I do that I'm pretty much screwed."

* * *

Naruto woke to the sound of Sachi's crying and lifted his face from where he'd buried it into his pillow, blinking bleary eyes as he tried to spot her. He pushed himself up on his elbows with a groan and fumbled blindly for the makeshift bed that Sachi had been sleeping in the night before, which should have been right beside his futon on the floor.

"Go back to sleep, Dobe, I got her this time."

Naruto squinted in the voice's direction, his foggy brain focusing only vaguely on Sasuke sitting perched on top of his bed, in the middle of changing a diaper. He grunted a monosyllabic sound meant to convey that he understood, and let his arms go slack so he face-planted back into the pillow.

Sasuke snorted and rolled his eyes. He considered, just for a moment, throwing the dirty diaper at the other boy, but decided that would be just a little bit too cruel first thing in the morning. He disposed of it into the plastic diaper bag and into the garbage in the bathroom.

The dobe was snoring, and drooling visibly, when he returned to the room. Sasuke decided that sleep looked like a good idea, and curled up on top of his bed, Sachi tucked neatly against him. He ignored the snoring and closed his eyes, willing himself to go back to sleep.

Which he was apparently to be denied by the knock on his door.

Itachi opened the door just enough to stick his head into the room. He paused a moment to observe the drooling mess on the floor with obvious amusement and just a touch of disgust, before shaking his head.

"Breakfast is ready, little brother."

Sasuke glared at the alarm clock, which clearly said that it was six thirty in the morning. "It's barely dawn outside, Itachi. What the hell are you doing up?"

"I have a conference call that I cannot miss this morning. I thought it would be in my own best ineterest to be the one to cook this weekend, lest our guest decided to generously serve us another meal of questionable chemical additives."

Sasuke winced. Oh, right, that. He dreaded the retaliation they were going to get for that stunt. Itachi was the sort that he didn't get mad...he got even. And is was rarely an immediate payback, or even an obvious one. Itachi was very patient, and his deviousness was subtle. You didn't usually know you'd been had until it was too late.

"I'll be down shortly, then, brother."

"Good. You may as well wake him up too, no sense in letting the food go to waste."

"I'm awake, dammit." Naruto slurring from within the pillow.

Sasuke stepped over his prone form on his way out of the room. "Good, then. We'll meet you downstairs."

Itachi let him pass, watching as Naruto pushed himself up, yawning as wide as his jaw would allow and rubbing at his eyes like a child.

"Naruto..."

the blond blinked sleepy eyes at him, curious, but not especially aware just yet.

"Huh?"

Itachi paused, and shook his head slightly, apparently changing his mind."Never mind. We'll speak later."

"'Kay."

The elder Uchiha watched him stumble towards the stairs, deeply thoughtful. This may just be the best chance he ever got, he would have to make it work. But for now, Kisame was waiting for him to call and go over the ledgers and the quarterly report, and he wasn't about to ruin his reputation as a businessman.

* * *

Breakfast and a shower did wonders to make both boys feel human again, even if it did nothing for their paranoia towards each other. Sasuke had carefully checked the shower head, shampoo bottle, hair dryer, and his change of clothes for any signs of tampering before he's gone ahead and stepped into the water, after also making sure that the door was securely locked, and grease-free.

There might be a truce and a tentative friendship now, but he still wouldn't put anything past the twit, after all. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice....

The water sluiced through his inky black hair, warm and pleasantly distracting. What time had that dobe gotten back last night, anyways? He'd thought he'd heard his brother return, woken by the sound of the door down the hall from his snapping shut for the night. But after waiting for a few minutes, Naruto hadn't returned to the room from his date. And when he'd woken again this morning to the sounds of the baby crying, there he'd been, passed out on the futon on the floor, still in the same clothes he's left in the night before.

He growled at himself as he scrubbed the shampoo against his scalp. God, he was being such a...a...woman. What the hell did he care? He didn't, dammit. And it made him all the more angry at himself because he knew he was lying. But fuck, he didn't _want_ to care.

He toweled off and dressed in sharp, angry motions, highly agitated. He caught sight of himself in the mirror and scowled at his reflection.

"Stop it." he ordered himself.

This emotional, high-strung person was not himself. He didn't like it one bit.

How the hell did someone have such an effect on someone else in only two short weeks? He snorted in disgust and threw open the door, making his way downstairs.

Despite himself wishing to be anywhere else, doing anything else, they had work to do this weekend. Maybe the sooner he got it over with, the easier to avoid the other boy later.

Naruto sat comfortably in the plush chair in the living room, text books and parenting guides spread out all over the coffee table, feeding Sachi from her bottle as she lounged in the crook of his arm.

He sent up a quick prayer for strength. "What's our assignment for this weekend?"

Naruto reached towards the table and pulled free a sheet of paper.

"It says we have to make a will."

Sasuke frowned and snatched at the page. "What?"

"You get water in your ears? We have to make a will. Like, how we want Sachi to be taken care of if something happened to us. You know, a will."

Sasuke flinched, though it was barely visible. His eyes were hard and cold like onyx when he glared at the other boy. "I know what a will is."

Naruto considered him and this sudden mood swing, but shrugged it off. "So, let's get working on it, then. The sooner it's done, the sooner I can challenge your brother to a rematch on Burnout."

"...fine."

They both took their seats, paper and pens in hand. Silence reigned supreme as they both scribbled away at the page.

Naruto thought this was kind of stupid to do it this way. They each had to write their own will first, then compare it to each other's, and then write a joint one that they combined from both of their originals. He wrinkled his nose at the page. That was just making useless work. It's be easier to just go ahead and do the second part, but he seemed to be stuck with it.

He glanced through the list of questions that he had to answer as part of his "will". They made him uncomfortable, thinking about such things. If both he and Sasuke were incapacitated, or worse, dead, who would he want to take over Sachi's care? What if that person wasn't available, or was already deceased as well? Who then? What if there were no one left that he called family that could look after her?

Ah, now that one hit home. What if his child not only became an orphan, but became an orphan with absolutely no one who would step forward to claim her, to care for her? The very thought made him feel ill. His memories of life before being adopted by Tsunade were vague at best, but he knew with absolute certainty that he never, ever wanted to go back to that. And if he had any say in it, no child of his would ever go through it, either.

Sasuke growled, breaking the silence. He threw his notebook and pen onto the table, pushed himself up from the couch in one fluid motion and cursed under his breath.

"I'm not doing this right now." He stormed out of the room.

"Ah, hey, wait Sasuke, what the hell-"

"Fuck off, dobe. Not right now."

Naruto fumed in his seat, cheeks puffed out in irritation. How dare he, he was going to give that bastard a piece of his mind. He glanced at Sasuke's paper, not sure what to make of the fact that it only had one line written onto it.

_If my spouse and myself should both be incapacitated, by illness, injury, or death, and unable to care for our child..._

After that, the writing simply stopped. Then again...he looked at his own paper, and realized that he hadn't done much better.

"Where is Sasuke?"

Naruto jumped. "Gah, don't sneak up on people, Itachi."

Itachi merely raised a brow at him. "I didn't sneak anywhere. I just finished with my business dealings, and came to speak to my brother."

"Oh. Well, he's not here. You just missed him, he stormed out of here in a huff a minute ago, got his panties all in a bunch about something."

Aw, hell. He hated when he didn't think before he spoke. He wasn't supposed to say stuff like that to Uchiha Itachi, he was sure of it. Maybe if he was lucky, he'd ignore it.

"Interesting. What did you fight about this time?"

"Hey, it wasn't me! We weren't fighting at all. Honest."

Itachi leaned against the door frame, all elegant indifference. "Oh? Sasuke is rarely upset by anything. What caused him to leave, then?"

"Hell if I know. We were working on this paper, and then he got up, told me off, and left."

"What paper?"

"For this child care project. We have to make a will to look after Sachi."

He would swear he'd never seen the other man move from his spot, but Itachi was suddenly standing right there in front of him, looming and intimidating.

"Show me."

Naruto cautiously handed over the assignment sheet and waited quietly while it was read.

"Ah. That would certainly explain it, then."

"Hey, what?"

"Do these questions not bother you at all, Naruto?"

"Ah, well, kind of."

"And why is that?"

"Well, nobody wants to think about their own death."

"And what else?" Itachi's eyes were sharp and piercing, demanding answers.

Naruto blew out a sigh. "I'm an orphan, and there was no family that came to look after me. If Tsunade hadn't adopted me, I don't know what would have happened to me."

"Then why do you think this bothers Sasuke?"

The answer hit him like a brick wall, and he suddenly felt like the biggest jerk in the world.

"Oh." he said in a very small voice, all the while berating himself for his absolute, monumental stupidity. How the hell had he not thought of that? God, he really was a dobe. Itachi, at least, was silent while he let him think it over.

"Hey, Itachi...what happened to your parents?"

Itachi didn't answer him for a long moment.

"I think it would be best for you to have Sasuke answer that for you."

"Oh...okay..."

"Naruto."

Big blue eyes looked up at him, and Itachi couldn't help letting his expression relax a little.

"Perhaps this is not the best time to discuss such things, but I wanted to say...thank you."

"What?" Naruto tilted his head at him, confused.

"Sasuke was not always as you see him now. Before we lost our parents, he was different. More open. Since then, I have never seen him so like his old self as I have now that you are friends. So, thank you."

Naruto watched his retreating back, utterly bewildered and not entirely sure he knew what had just happened.

* * *

It took a lot of searching to find the younger Uchiha. The house was just way too damned big, with way too many rooms. And of course, only after he'd searched every single other room possible did it occur to him to try the attic.

And lo and behold, there he finally found him. Sitting in the dust on the floor, with an open book in his lap and a decidedly unhappy slouch to his shoulders.

Naruto made no secret of his approach, though he felt very uncomfortable being there, as if this were something that he should not be intruding on. The floor squeaked loudly under his foot, and Sasuke's head snapped around to glare darkly at him. It was a clear "get out", but Naruto was, well, Naruto, and he pushed on anyways.

He sat down with a thump beside his partner, coughing at the cloud of dust that he sent up in his wake and trying to wave it away.

"So..." he tried to sound nonchalant. "What are you doing up here?"

Sasuke refused to look at him, let alone answer him. His whole body looked tense to the point where it made Naruto want to wince. He tried again.

"What's the book?"

Fingers tightened on the edge of the pages until the knuckles turned white, but he still didn't reply. Naruto pushed aside his own irritation at this reticence and forced a smile onto his face. Like it or not, he considered Sasuke a friend, of sorts, and he just wouldn't leave this alone when it looked so much like his friend needed some help.

He peered over Sasuke's shoulder, surprised when the book wasn't simply just closed right in his face. The photos on the page stared back at him. Happy, smiling faces of a family that obviously cared a lot about each other. So much lost. He was starting to think maybe they weren't all that very different after all.

"Hey, you were a cute kid. What happened?" Naruto poked Sasuke's temple, and was rewarded with a hard shove to the floor.

"Dobe." Sasuke glared at him, but the twist to his lips gave away his amusement. The blond just laughed and sat back up again, glad that he'd managed to ease the tension.

They sat together for a moment of awkward silence. Naruto wanted to ask, but wasn't sure how to even go about it. Aw, hell.

"They died when I was six." Sasuke told him calmly, answering him anyways.

"What happened?"

"They went out to dinner with some friends. On the way home, they were hit by a drunk driver running a red light and died instantly." His voice carried a note of solemn finality.

Naruto took a moment to try and process it all. Tried to see how such a thing would feel, to have all that you've ever known snatched away from you like that. If anything ever happened to Tsunade, he didn't know how he'd be able to handle it.

"I'm sorry." He said, know it wasn't nearly adequate, but having nothing else to offer.

"Everybody says that."

"I, yeah, well..."

"But I think you're one of the few that might understand it."

"I never knew my real parents."

"Do you wish you did?"

"I don't know. Maybe. For all I know, they're still out there somewhere. But if things had been different, I wouldn't be the person that I am, and I'm pretty happy with my life as it is now. Some things, I think, are just meant to happen."

Sasuke grunted an agreement and his eyes slid back to the photos, staring at the image of his mother.

"Hey." Naruto poked him, making him look back again.

"For what it's worth...I think your parents would be proud of you."

Sasuke drew back, eyes widening just a bit as he stared at the other boy.

"....thanks." he finally muttered, looking away sheepishly.

Naruto stood, swatting at the dust that covered his clothes.

"Alright, so, while this bonding thing is nice, this is just way too depressing. So let's get out of here. We got some homework to do, and then I'm gonna whoop your ass on the x-box." He held out his hand to help the other boy up.

Sasuke chuckled, took his hand and pulled himself to his feet.

"You wish, dobe."

* * *

Naruto yawned and rested his chin in his hand, sprawled out flat on his stomach near the foot of the bed. They had eventually migrated into Sasuke's room by the end of the evening because...well, he didn't really know, but it had seemed like a comfortable place to do their assignment.

The afternoon had been given over to video games, which resulted in much yelling, cursing, squabbling and wrestling for the controls. They were both competitive and stubborn, so it probably would have lasted longer if Itachi hadn't walked past, eyed them rolling around on the floor in an all out battle for the remote and exasperatedly told them to "get a room".

Sachi lay beside him, blissfully asleep and quiet, and Sasuke sat cross-legged by the headboard. All in all, he supposed, it was...cozy.

"So, alright. What do we want to do then if Tsunade, Itachi, and Sakura are all out of the picture. Who's going to take Sachi after that?"

Sasuke made a face. He personally wasn't thrilled with the idea of Sakura being on the list, but seeing his partner's attachment to the girl made it clear that there would be a huge fight on his hands if he tried to remove her. She couldn't be that bad, anyways. At least, not as bad as say...

"If there were no one else, we could ask Kakashi to look after her."

Naruto gaped at him. "What the hell? Just because he's the teacher for this class, I don't think we'd get any points by making him her guardian."

"It wouldn't be because of his position as our teacher. Technically, he's my legal guardian."

Naruto shook his head, then stuck his finger in his ear and wiggled it around, trying to find the blockage that was messing with his hearing.

"Want to run that by me again?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "He's my legal guardian. He stopped living with us after Itachi turned eighteen and took over, and now he just kind of keeps an eye on us."

"Well, holy shit." Naruto mulled this over a bit in his head. "That would sure explain a few things."

Sasuke really didn't want to continue on this particular conversation. He wanted to change the topic, and opened his mouth to ask a mundane, small talk kind of question about the paper, or hell, even the weather.

"So, how was your date?"

Obviously the connection between his brain and his mouth was malfunctioning.

Naruto looked a little surprised by the question, then promptly blushed. His right hand came up to rest behind his head in that classic nervous habit of his and he even laughed a little.

"My date? Oh...it was good."

Sasuke buried his nose into his book, feeling supremely awkward. "Well...good, then."

"Yeah, yeah. She was pretty cute, too. I was thinking of maybe asking her out again."

Sasuke nodded curtly, pretending to be engrossed in his reading.

Naruto snapped his fingers as he suddenly got a brilliant, to him anyways, idea. "Hey, I know! We should do like that group date thing. Kiba and Hinata, Shikamaru and Ino, Chouji and Ayame, Sasame and I, and you and Sakura could come, too." He beamed, apparently thinking this was the best idea ever.

Sasuke glared at him over the edge of his book. "No."

The blond's face fell. "Aw, but come on! It'd be fun. You need to socialize more anyways. Seriously. And you wouldn't need to feel like the odd man out, because, you know, Sakura can keep you company."

"No." he growled, in a tone that brooked no further argument.

Naruto pouted at him, clearly put out, then scooped Sachi up and retreated back to his books, whispering to her about what a grouch her "father" was.

Beating down the urge to hurl the book in his lap at the other boy's skull, Sasuke settled for sullenly slouching into his pillows. Stupid dobe needed to take a friggen hint. Sasuke had not missed all the attempts to set him up with the pink haired wench, and had clearly refused any advances on this plan, but still they persisted. Along with annoying the hell out of him on principle, it also bothered him more than a little that he was apparently being fobbed off now in favor of the "date".

He was not fucking jealous, goddammit, he was _not_.

Oh, hell. Yes he was. And he hated it.

He just didn't know what the hell he was going to do about it.

* * *

He woke up feeling dissoriented. What the hell...oh, right. He lifted his head from the page it rested against. He must have fallen asleep while they were still working. Judging by the soft, even breathing coming from the other end of the bed, he hadn't been the only one.

The lights were off, and he wasn't sure who exactly had done that, but he was too sleepy to care for the moment. His eyes felt like lead weights as he let them close again, but his bladder insistently reminded him of why he'd woken up in the first place.

He stumbled and tripped his way to the bathroom, blinded himself by turning on the light without thinking, then stumbled back when he was done. Which left him standing in the middle of the bedroom now, trying to reason out the answer to a very difficult question.

Did he return to his very comfortable and still nicely warm spot on the bed, or did he forfeit the space to the bed's other occupant and go lay down on the cold and not nearly so comfortable futon on the floor. He knew, with what logical part of his mind was working, that the smart thing to do would be the choose the futon.

But he really didn't want to.

So against his better judgment, he crawled back onto the bed and curled up in his previous position, telling himself not to think about who he was sharing the bed with. But after only a moment, his eyes slid open and settled on the prone form just a few feet away.

What the hell was wrong with him? There were so many reasons that he shouldn't be feeling this way, but for all that he told himself not to, he couldn't seem to help himself. And there were times when he was almost sure that he felt like it might be mutual, and for the life of him, he didn't know if that made it better or worse.

Stupid Kakashi and his stupid ideas. He'd have never had to deal with this if he hadn't interfered.

He didn't realize for a moment that he'd sat up, or that he'd moved at all. He saw his body shift forward, and felt like it was simply impossible to stop. He wasn't going to _do _anything, he just wanted to see a little closer. Really.

He studied the face in front of him. In sleep, he looked different. He was certainly no sleeping angel, though, he noted wryly as a soft snore escaped. His hand moved of its own accord to trace a finger along his jaw ever so lightly, careful not to wake him.

Would it really hurt anything...just this once?

Just this once.

He had to know.

The air itself felt thick with tension as he braced himself with one hand and leaned down.

_He had to know._

_Just this once._

A breath away, he paused. He still had time to retreat, to step back and pretend that this had never happened. Nobody would know, and nothing counted if nothing happened.

Aw, hell.

He kissed him. A simple press of lips on lips, but the simple contact stole his breath.

He felt the body beneath him shift, respond. _He was kissing back._

It was far too soon when it broke. Feeling like a deer caught in head lights, he watched eyes slowly open and squint up at him, still foggy with sleep and confusion and lust.

Oooohfuckshitdamnitalltohell....what had he _done?_

He just ruined everything. It was all going to go to hell in a hand basket, and there was nothing he could do. He felt like a bystander watching a trainwreck as he saw his name being called.

"Naruto...?"

He bolted.

* * *

_Naruto, Day 15: We had to work on the will today. I gotta tell you, not fun. Thinking about death and dying gives me the heebie jeebies, especially if it's thinking about my own death. The last thing I'd ever want is for Sachi to wind up being an orphan. The only comfort I have from this idea is knowing that if anything ever happened to me, I have some really excellent friends and family who would step up to take care of her for me. If they were all gone too...well, I don't want to think about that. Hopefully, Sasuke's family, or Sasuke himself, would be there._

* * *


End file.
